This is a quick post for moms who are taking care of babies under age 2. (Beyond hang in there.)

The other day, I did something that I wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t been taught. It went against my natural (lazy) instinct of doing what is the least difficult.

I was washing the breakfast dishes before we all dashed off to a basketball game. My 9-month-old has reached this new stage where she’s extremely sociable and wants someone to play with her constantly. This past month, she’s been demanding wanting more of my attention.

So, as I washed dishes, she began to fuss. I stopped what I was doing, interacted with her a few seconds, and gave her something new to play with. Still fussy. I next tried putting her in her high chair with a few cheerios — which she didn’t want. I tried something novel to her — a stainless steel pot and wooden spoon — which she didn’t want. It was too early for a nap. And everyone else was busy running around getting on their uniforms for the game.

This gave me four choices:
1. Keep working and ignore her cry — not an option as her crying was very loud!
2. Hold her while I did my chores — I can’t do that these days because I know it’s bad for my back to carry weight while I’m bending. Plus, I can’t work fast!
3. Put her somewhere safe where she can cry without me hearing.
4. Ignore my chores and play with her. This is the area I’m dealing with as I work on keeping my home organized. I really didn’t want to leave the house with dishes piled up in the sink. I knew I’d have plenty of time to play with her once we got to the game.

I opted for number 3, which goes against the grain of what modern parents are told to do. I took her to the playpen we’ve set up in our bedroom, next to a sunny window. She has several interesting toys to play with and a musical string toy that she can pull to listen to Winnie the Pooh. I put her in the playpen, said a few pleasant words to her, then set my timer for 15 minutes and went back to my kitchen work.

Was she happy? No. She cried…very loud. I knew she was safe, and I knew I wanted to leave the house with a clean kitchen. So I let her cry. After four very long minutes, she stopped. While I loaded the dishwasher, wiped down counters, swept the floor, and returned lost items to their rooms, she played and cooed on her own.

I went to check on her when my timer went off and she was still playing happily. So I even had time to get dressed and ready. After several more minutes, we left. Happy baby. Happy mom. Clean kitchen.

I’m not saying this to make myself look like I have it all together. I’m writing this to say this doesn’t come naturally to me — and I’ve read hundreds of magazine articles that would say I should forget the dishes and go play with Baby. But I did play with her — a lot — when I didn’t have things I needed to do. It felt great to come home to my shiny sink.

I feel compelled to write this to someone out there — a new mom perhaps — who might be feeling stressed out because you never have a chance to be alone. Even when you’re only caring for one baby, the demands of this role can be exhausting! You can’t leave a child alone for even five seconds once they reach the mobile stage.

I know not everyone will agree with me. I’ve read in so many places about moms who think playpens are horrible contraptions. But we’ve used a playpen with our four older children — and now our baby is learning to use one too.

What are the advantages? Besides a mom or other caregiver having a few minutes alone, the baby will be learning to entertain herself and play creatively — without anyone else around. Can you see where this leads? A baby who can play alone in peaceful contentment will later become a child who can handle “quiet time” alone.

How many adults do you know who can’t handle a few minutes of quiet time alone? It all starts with a little bit of training.

If you use a playpen, be sure it meets safety standards. Old playpens can collapse or have slats that are too wide. You should also check to make sure your playpen hasn’t been recalled. Sadly, many accidents have happened from playpen use. Kids in Danger is a website I discovered that offers many details about safety.