Congratulations to all of you 38 awesome writers who entered the Mother’s Love Writing Contest. You’re all winners for taking the time to write about your love for your moms. After reading these entries, I can tell you that I’m not the same person. You’ve given me a greater understanding of what transforms an ordinary woman into an extraordinary mom. Thank you for sharing this gift!

There were four other judges who helped me with this tremendous task. We wanted to be unbiased, so we devised a point system based on five categories: originality, passion, interest, literary skill/ mechanics, and takeaway (insight for the reader.) We averaged the point totals to discover the winners — and we also wanted to give each of you an award to honor or remember your mom.

I’ve compiled all of the submissions into a Word file entitled “Stories of Our Mother’s Love 2006,” which is available to anyone who would like a copy. Please send me an email, and I’ll send you this file, which would make an inspiring Mother’s Day gift (especially if you’re artistic and can decorate the cover!). My email is heatherivester at bellsouth dot net. All of the essays are found either in the comments section of the Contest post, or by following the link to the individual’s site.

Here are the wonderful writers who volunteered to help with the task of judging:

Suzanne Rae Deshchidn is a poet, editor, and book critic. She has worked with Mary DeMuth, Tim Riter, and Deborah Gyapong, among others. She’s currently a contributor to the Master’s Artist blog. You can read her poetry on her blog, siouxsie poet uncensored.

Annie Downs is a 4th grade teacher in Kennesaw, Georgia. She is in her third year teaching, though she is currently also pursuing a career in writing. So far, Annie has had three articles published on Radiantmag.com.

Elle Harden is a New Mexico-native-turned-Southern-Belle. She grew up in Gallup, NM, but has lived in Alabama and Georgia for the past 15 years. Elle keeps busy balancing her mommy/wife role with her work as a lawyer. She has two boys, ages 9 and 2. While Elle enjoys her legal research and writing, she plans to expand into creative and inspirational writing. Her newly created Fall On the Grace blog is still in the very beginning stages, but feel free to visit!

Kelli Mix is a freelance writer in Carrollton, Georgia. Her most recent publications include The West Georgia Ladies, Bluph Magazine, and The Star News. She is a contributing writer in the upcoming book, Diapers and Deadlines, and thanks her husband and children for providing endless humor for her essays.

Congratulations to the following winners! The Grand Prize Winner’s essay appears below. I wish I could print all of them here, but the file is over 50 pages single-spaced! Be sure to get your copy!

GRAND PRIZE
“A Shepherd’s Mother” by Ann Voskamp

FIRST PLACE
“No Carbon Copy Mom” by G.B. Clark

SECOND PLACE
“Blazing the Trail” by OreoSouza

THIRD PLACE
“My Mother’s Hands” by Kayin Mayne

FOURTH PLACE
“The Note of Hope that Mama Wrote” by Ruth

FIFTH PLACE
“A Letter to Mama” by Lena Diane Jennings

TEN HONORABLE MENTIONS (arranged in alphabetical order)
“A Mother’s Love” by Holy Mama!
“Mom, You’re the Top!” by Karen Phillips
“Mother’s Love” by Glenda Schoonmaker
“My Mother” by Oshee
“My Mother’s Love” by KEP
“Perfect Attendance” by Spunky
“Quiet and Still” by Julie
“Serving Grace” by Darlene Schacht
“The Art of Homemaking: A Tribute to My Mother” by lindafay
“Weaving” by Kim Anderson

AWARDS FOR MOMS (arranged in order of submission)
1. “Serving Grace” by Darlene Schacht, Most Inspiring Mom Award
2. “New Mother Syndrome” by Donna Shepherd, Mother’s Wisdom Award
3. “A Letter to Mama” by Lena Diane Jennings, Mother’s Legacy Award
4. “Monday Memories: Did I Ever Tell You About My Mother?” by Nancy S. Brandt, Most Inspiring Caregiver Mom Award
5. “My Mom” by Sara Reysio-Cruz, Most Terrific Mom Award
6. “Meet the Woman Proverbs Talks About: My Mom” by Dallas Turner, Proverbs 31 Mom Award
7. “My Mom” by Jess, Best Friend Mom Award
8. “Proverbs 31 Woman” by Angie, Most Noble Mom Award
9. “No Carbon Copy Mom” by G. B. Clark, Most Kind Mom Award
10. “My Mother” by MomKori, Most Encouraging Mom Award
11. “My Mother, my Best Friend” by Kimberlie Clark, Best Friend Mom Award
12. “A Virtuous Woman: Legacy of Love” by Rhodi Alers de López, Young at Heart Mom Award
13. “The Note of Hope that Mama Wrote” by Ruth, Most Faithful Writer Mom Award
14. “My Mother’s Love” by Mary, Mom of Strength Award
15. “Perfect Attendance ” by Spunky, Most Faithful Mom Award
16. “Blazing the Trail” by OreoSouza, Everlasting Love Mom Award
17. “Needing Mommy” by Olya, Most Blessed Mom Award
18. “My Mother” by Erin-erin-bo-berin, Mom Who At Last Knows Everything Award
19. “Quiet and Still” by Julie, Makes Every Day Special Mom Award
20. “Beautiful” by TR Thomas, Most Beautiful Mom Award
21. “Rising Up and Calling My Mother Blessed” by Crystal Lutton, Most Devoted Mom Award
22. “My Mom” by Shannon, Most Positive Mom Award
23. “Mommy’s Little Girl” by Iris, Most Thoughtful Mom Award
24. “My Mother’s Love” by KEP, Most Loving Mom Award
25. “My Mother’s Hands” by Kayin Mayne, Most Creative Mom Award
26. “Weaving” by Kim Anderson, Most Inspirational Artist Mom Award
27. “A Mother’s Love” by Holy Mama!, Most Humorous Mom Award
28. Sue Thomas: (If She Was a Value Tale It Would Be Generosity), Most Generous Mom Award
29. “The Art of Homemaking: A Tribute to My Mother” by lindafay, Best Hostess Mom Award
30. “Mom, You’re the Top!” By Karen Phillips, Most Multi-Talented Mom Award
31. “My Mama” by Jan Eppler, Most Gentle Mom Award
32. “A Tribute to My Mom” by Kim, Most Amazing Mom Award
33. “My Role Model” by Sandy, Most Wonderful Mom Award
34. “My Mother” by Oshee, Best Role Model Mom Award
35. “A Shepherd’s Mother” by Ann Voskamp, Most Humble Mom Award
36. “Mother’s Love” by Glenda Schoonmaker, Mother’s Legacy Award
37. “A Mother’s Love” by Jordan Green, Most Forgiving Mom Award
38. “My Mom” by Cheryl Goforth, Mother’s Legacy Award

I became a mother on the eve of Mother’s Day.

And when they placed that vernix-covered, wrinkled babe into my 21-year old arms that muggy Saturday evening in May, no wave of relief, or ecstasy washed over me. Being the first to caress another human being’s cheek, I only felt raw, unadulterated, strangling terror. If I could have run, I would have. My weak, rubbery legs failed me.

Newborn babe on chest drowsily opened one eye and looked into mine…and I choked. This person, so helpless and fragile, was depending on me — flawed, deficient, inexperienced me.

Tomorrow, my husband would tenderly present me with my very first Mother’s Day card. And I wasn’t ready. I had never shaped another person before. I had my own issues, my own baggage. Didn’t someone at least need a license or something before taking home a swaddled bundle of precious humanity?

And I knew, far too personally, how the struggles of a Mother affected a vulnerable child.

A mere seven days before, lumbering under extreme pregnancy, I had wandered down the hollow halls of a locked psychiatric ward…having left my own mother behind the heavy steel doors for a 72-hour stay. One hand on my swollen belly, my other hand had brushed away the hot, stinging tears. My dedicated Mama was weary from battling her own demons, fighting for her own sanity…living out the carnage of a life bestowed upon her by her own troubled mother. I had prayed that her three days of quiet might bring a measure of peace.

My Mama had suffered through her childhood at the hands of sexually abusive fiends. And I had suffered through my early years as she wrestled to lie her past down. Then in the autumn of her 26th year, with 2 preschoolers at her side, and a 3 week old in her arms, Mama witnessed her 18-month-old daughter fall under the crushing wheels of a delivery truck in our farmyard. Mothers never dream of tucking their babies into shiny black coffins and burying them in cold earth. The haunting of her past united with horrors of the present, taking my Mama away from me to hospitals and psychiatric wards throughout my childhood. As I stood ready to embark on my own right of passage into this maternity society, I felt all too well the weight of motherhood’s mantle. Who was worthy of tending to the formation of another human being when oneself was marred and flawed?

That first long night in the darkened hospital room, my hand traced the fingers and toes of this new little person. Could I do this? The lump in my throat grew. Failure was certain. I was going to let this little boy down. I found it hard to breathe. A Bible lay open on my side table. I ran my hand over the crinkled page, knowing the words that whispered somewhere on that darkened leaf.

Isaiah 40:11
…he gently leads those that have young.

In the dark of that room, that was all I had to cling to: The gracious Shepherd leading this little babe and me on. He would show the way.

The next morning dawned Mother’s Day. My own Mama knocked gently at my door. I smiled shyly as I pulled back the blankets to reveal her first grandchild. We both cried as she rocked him close.
“This is for you,” she quietly offered. I took the bag from her outstretched arm. Inside I found an intricate, homemade cover for our hand-me-down car seat.

“Mama…you must have stayed up all night?!” I marveled, knowing that none of us expected this babe to arrive 4 weeks early.

She nodded.

“Oh, Mom, you must be exhausted. You really shouldn’t have. Really, Mom.” I reached out to embrace her and cradled baby.

She pressed her cheek close to mine.

“Relationships cost,” she whispered. In spite of her own anguishing battles, Mama, time and again, chose to pay the price of relationship.

Taking this hours old person from Mama’s arms, I bundled him into his made-with-love car seat. I held his wee hand…and I knew. I was willing to follow Mama’s lead—the Shepherd’s lead—and pay the price of relationship. Whatever the cost. Wee one already had my heart.

Turning to Mom, I laughed lightly, hoping my levity masked my lingering doubts.

“Think I can do this, Mom?”

Mama took my hand and squeezed.

“It’s not that you aren’t going to blow it, Ann. It’s what you do with it afterwards.”

Over the years, Mama, though good intentioned, had missed events, spoken harshly… disappointed me. Yet my love for her coursed deep and sure. For she had listened and heard my pain. She had simply and humbly owned the failures, apologized for the disappointments, and fervently attempted to pay the cost of relationship.

And over the last decade of mothering, Mama has sung her refrain of assurance to this trembling heart over and over again.

Relationships cost. And it’s not that you aren’t going to blow it. It is what you do with it, when you do.

Yes, there is something more beautiful to experience than a perfect Mother. It is the wonder of experiencing a committed Mother who simply humbles herself. Like that Shepherd who knew the cost of relationship, chose to pay the price, and staggeringly “humbled Himself… even to the point of death on a cross” (Phil 2:8). Out of the ashes and brokenness of our sin, rises the breathtaking exquisiteness of humility and grace, the Cross. And out of the anguish and woundedness of Mama’s life, surfaced a gentle humility and a dogged devotion to relationship. Regardless.

I was now ready to be a Mother and take our new human being home. I understood. Motherhood does not require, thankfully, perfection. It simply requires commitment and humility.

Ready to depart with bag in one hand, I remembered my first Mother’s Day card sitting on the windowsill. I had feared I would never be a Mother’s Day card Mother. Mama had shown me that I didn’t need to be. The faithful Shepherd had indeed shown the way. He was not leading this Mother to be a glossy, embossed Hallmark version of perfection. But rather a committed, humble, real one.

© Ann Voskamp
Ontario, Canada
Holy Experience