Surprise! Such a lovely topic on this chilly February morning. I know … I normally discuss something more pleasant such as books. But today I want to track a little progress we’re making on the “toilet training” front (which started today).

By default, I think I’m an expert in potty training. This is my 5th time through this process! I’ve figured this thing out, so why not pass along what I’ve learned? Maybe this will help some mom out there who is entering this exact same stage I’m in.

Our youngest daughter will be two years old in April, and this is the perfect time to start potty training. She wakes up dry from her naps, she’s bright (of course I have to say that), she has older siblings she wants to keep up with … and I’m tired of buying diapers.

Here’s my #1 piece of advice on all this: it’s up to the mom (or dad) to decide when it’s time to start toilet training, not the child. It seems like most breezy magazine articles I see in parenting magazines make it seem like it’s up to the child.

Well, here’s the truth: notice who the advertisers are for these magazines. Disposable diaper companies. They’re making millions/ billions off making poor parents feel like young two-year-olds can’t be potty trained. They’re making huge size 6 diapers so that even four-year-olds are still in diapers. And so they find writers who will support them by writing articles that put the child in charge. Plus, it sounds nice and makes parents feel less guilty for putting it off another year.

That’s my philosophy. I’m a Gen-X parent, and I fell into that way of thinking when I used to read secular parenting magazines that came to my house free before my first child was born. I didn’t realize how they were slowly brainwashing me into thinking I didn’t know what I was doing.

Your child is not in charge: you are. Every child would rather wake up clean and dry wearing cotton pants rather than a wet or dirty diaper. Every child! They just need to be trained. When the parent decides.

But I’ve also learned that little girls are much easier to train than boys — so I’m hoping this process will be quick. Boys just don’t seem to notice the mess — if they’re busy playing, they’ll just keep on playing.

Today, we got the potty seat out, cleaned it again, and I’m letting my daughter get used to it. She’s carrying it around and sitting on it while still in her diaper — like a little chair. This is step one.

I’m not in a rush with this, as I would be if it were August and I wanted her trained by September. If you’re in a rush, skip the slow, get-used-to-the-potty stage, put your child in new underwear they pick out themselves, and then just stay home for a week and put them on the toilet every hour, until they go. Then reward them — and they’ll get the hang of it.

Gradually, I’m going to try to get my daughter to use her potty — she will eventually. And then she’ll get lots of praise! Now here’s the trick I learned somewhere. Once she goes on her own, without me having to ask her, she gets a treat: one M&M candy. This really works! She will learn that going to the potty will lead to a little sweet treat.

After a few weeks, you can stop giving the reward treats. By then, she’ll just enjoy the dry feeling — and be proud of her “big girl” pants.

This is much easier done in the summer, when your child can walk around in only a shirt and underwear (or some people let them run around naked, but we just don’t do that here!) A t-shirt works fine, and modesty is good, especially in large families like ours.

I don’t know what I’m going to do when I don’t have to buy diapers anymore! I’ve had diapers on my grocery list for the past eleven years. Once we get through this, I think I’ll splurge and buy the Starbucks brand of coffee! Maybe go get a full body massage! My husband jokes that we’ll have a huge bonfire and burn the remaining diapers.

Wanna come? 😉