Dear FlyLady,

I have some things to tell you, and I don’t think you’re going to be very pleased. I’ve been one of your faithful, well almost faithful, readers the last several months, and I’m still not FLYing yet. And I should be!

On December 2, 2005, I wrote this in my brand spanking new blog:

I’m going to start something new here in my blog. On Fridays, I’m going to give you an update on what I’ve learned during the week and call it “FlyLady Friday.” My plan is to do this for the next 21 weeks. That should take us from today until April 21. Experts say it takes 21 days to acquire a new habit — so I’m going to give FlyLady’s methods 21 weeks — and maybe you’ll join the party with me.

OK — so today marks 21 weeks since I’ve started reading your emails. I must say, you’ve encouraged me like nobody else. I’ve posted your Morning and Evening Routines up on my refrigerator, and I read them through twice a day. But I’ve never been able to do all of the steps.

I’ve also posted your Eleven Commandments on the window over my kitchen sink. I spend a lot of time there — so I read through them often. I’ve posted Hebrews 12:1-3 right alongside it because you’re part of my “cloud of witnesses” who are spurring me on to run this race God has called me to run. Here’s what these verses say (from the New International Version):

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Right now, I’m growing weary and losing heart. You see, yesterday, I discovered that one of my children put three cans of Mountain Dew in the freezer TO SEE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN, and of course you can imagine what happened. Mountain Dew expands upon being frozen, and now I must add this to my to-do list:

— Clean Frozen drips of Mountain Dew from freezer

My foyer was a little bit clean until yesterday when the red fire engine got involved in a massive pile-up with several hundred wooden blocks, involving the word “EMERGENCY!” shouted loudly 600 times. This type of disaster cannot take place on carpet, according to my youngest son, because blocks are not nearly as much fun to play with on a soft surface. Therefore, my foyer is an emergency right now.

I’m having a little bit of trouble knowing what to do with my three older kids’ school papers — there are thousands of worksheets that I know must be thrown away — but if they see me doing this, it causes tears and gnashing of teeth. “You can’t throw that away! I have to keep that! We need that!”

And let’s not even talk about the monster in my basement that has been breathing fire lately. Every time I feel like I might be moving along and making progress, he makes some kind of awful roaring sound and drags me back down to defeat. His first name is ENTROPY, and his last name is BEAST, and he’s my arch enemy.

So, after 21 weeks of your awesome training, I’m still a failure. I’m not FLYing yet. But I know I can’t give up, so I’ll keep on going. Maybe I’ll check back in with you in a few more months. My dream is to one day send you a testimonial … maybe when my kids are off at college, and it’s just me drinking Mountain Dew alone in my spotless foyer, while the fire trucks and blocks are long packed away.

(Sniff, sniff.) I think I’ll try to enjoy these days, do the best I can, and get busy cleaning out that freezer.

Sincerely,

FlyBaby H wannabe from Georgia