I don’t have anything important to attempt to say today. I just wanna talk to somebody … when it’s convenient for you to check out my blog.

Here’s what’s up … and why I’m feeling down.

This morning, right now at this very minute, a few miles from my house, I could be sitting in a clean, air-conditioned room with about 15 other women, watching Beth Moore teach on a giant video screen. As I’m typing now, at 9:40 am, our group is probably finishing up the discussion of our third week’s topic, Love. We’re studying Living Beyond Yourself, and WAAAHHH! I want to be there!!

Here’s why I’m not there. I’m holding my 18-month-old who has thrown up on me twice already this morning. She’s hot as fire, burning up with fever. I didn’t know she was sick until last night, while I was chatting with some moms at the church playground, enjoying myself for a few minutes until … BLAHK … she threw up all over me. This is why I do not even pretend that I have my act together.

My three-year-old is still upstairs in his bed asleep. I’ve checked on him nine times already. He was also feverish last night. I’m letting him sleep as long as he wants. Maybe he’ll wake up and have this thing kicked. It’s our first fall virus, one of the joys we get from being sociable and active in church this year. We’ve even dubbed these nasty things the “Wednesday viruses” because the symptoms always show up on Wednesdays after we go to church on Sundays.

So I’m not at Bible Study, interacting with my wonderful adult women friends. I’m also not at the gym with my friend Mary who asked me again to work out with her. She keeps reminding me she wants to teach me the circuit machines, and the last time she saw me she said, “I’ve got to show you how to use the Butt-Blaster. You won’t believe the results once you use it for about three weeks.” I’m sorry, that’s not a word I use or even type, but I couldn’t help it. There’s no better name for a machine that does THAT, is there?

I’m also not going to be able to watch my son’s flag football team in the championship game today. They’re playing an hour away, and the best I’ve done is send the grandparents an email with directions to the game, hoping one of them might be able to go. Another reason I feel like a terrible failure of a mom today.

And let’s also toss in my worries about tomorrow. We’ve invited two of my son’s friends to spend the night — our plans are to build a bonfire and roast hot dogs or s’mores. But what if my little ones don’t get better today? Ethically, I’ll have to cancel these plans.

Tomorrow, I’m also supposed to cook a chicken casserole to deliver to a friend in my women’s club who has a newborn baby and is recovering from a horrendous delivery in which she had to have emergency surgery and a blood transfusion. Furthermore, she had to have another painful procedure done yesterday, which may affect her ability to nurse. I’m really looking forward to visiting her tomorrow and taking her a little gift, along with my part of the meal (another friend is helping me.) But I can’t do this if I’m a traveling virus.

So! I told my husband this morning at breakfast — this is why so many stay-home moms find connection through blogging. I know this is a season of life that doesn’t last forever — and someday my kids will be older and won’t get sick as often. My elementary-aged kids hardly ever get sick — and unless they have a fever, I send them on to school.

My husband reminded me — well, at least I don’t have to be stressed about finding a sitter because I have to get to work. Yes, that’s true. But we were also talking last night about how useful it might be if I could teach English in a private Christian school someday — so we could get reduced tuition and use my salary to pay the rest of the tuition and expenses. That would be nice indeed and would give me something creative to do with this love I have of writing and encouraging other people to write.

Someday … but not today. My greatest ambition today is to blog about my desperate life in the hopes that one of you out there who may also be having a discouraging day may feel a little better. Or just in case you think I might have my act together because my blog appears clean on your screen and there are no crushed cheerios or globs of peanut butter on it, you’ll see that appearances can be deceiving.

I’m hoping I’ll be able to take a shower today, and maybe finish up organizing the last upstairs closet from our autumn fling. I’ll be making chicken broth soup and jello, and reminding my husband to pick up Pedialyte on his way home (can’t live without that stuff in the winter when you’ve got preschoolers or babies.)

Thanks for listening … I feel better already. Can’t beat the price of blogging!