Below is an article by author Vicki Courtney, who has an amazing ministry reaching thousands of tweens, teens, and their parents. Her latest book for girls is Between God and Me: A Journey Through Proverbs.

A good role model can be hard to recognize — especially if you’re the mother of a tween. If your tween is out in the community, even if it’s the online community, he or she is being observed. So what can we do
to make sure they’re taking cues from the right people? Here are five tips for helping your tween find a solid role model, and how to be one yourself.

Walk the Walk
Mothers can scold their daughters as much as they want, but unless they are practicing what they preach, it’s unlikely their daughters will pay their words any attention. One of the virtues of being a role model
is sticking to your word, not only talking the talk, but walking the walk, too. In the end, the ultimate role model when it comes to virtue is the author of virtue, so monitor your fashion choices, language, and online activity as closely as you would your tween’s.

Don’t Look Too Far
Role models have changed over the generations. More people used to describe their role models as being people they didn’t know; i.e., movie stars and athletes. Joe DiMaggio, Eleanor Roosevelt, etc. Now, people tend to find role models that are in some way or another involved in their lives. It emphasizes a worthy saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” So help your tween find close-to-home role models, like a teacher, coach, or trusted friend in the community.

Learn From the Bad
Taking the bad along with the good is one of life’s easiest things to hear and hardest to implement, especially these days, when bad is the new good. Even once-wholesome stars like Miley Cyrus are human, after all. Like any one of us, she makes mistakes. A good role model admits to these mistakes instead of hiding them. For parents, instead of wringing your hands and tearing your robes, you can derive teachable moments from celebrity “role model” mishaps. Talk to your daughter about what went wrong, and how to avoid making the same mistakes.

Be Skeptical
The media bombards your daughters with messages every day. How will you know which ones to believe and which to take with a grain of salt? Often the general message can be deceptive, and the media will
leave out part of the story. Do your research and be discerning. We all deserve to have good role models — so before your teenager adopts one, make sure she is fully informed before she decides to emulate them.

Meet Their Friends
You can tell a lot about a person by who they hang out with. The type of friends a person chooses speaks volumes about her identity. No matter what, there will be those who willingly conform to a peer
group, and depending on the nature of that group, it can have a positive or negative outcome on his or her behavior. When helping your tween choose a good role model, find out first the type of company that role model keeps.

Vicki Courtney is the founder of Virtuous Reality Ministries and virtuousreality.com, an online magazine for middle school and high school girls that reaches more than 150,000 girls and mothers a year through its website, resources and events. Her blog Virtue Alert receives 20,000 unique visitors a month from fellow parents nationwide.

Our church recently made it through a full week of Vacation Bible School, using Lifeway’s western theme, Saddle Ridge Ranch. We had a fantastic turnout, with over 400 in attendance, and I have to say this was one of my favorite themes. Yee-haw! I’m wondering if any of you out there have used this with your church VBS.

The motto, “Need Answers? Ask God!” was easy for kids to remember, and we memorized the key scripture, James 1:5, in unison:

Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without criticizing, and it will be given to him.

VBS has come a long way since my days of singing “Deep and Wide” and drinking orange Kool-Aid from Dixie cups. It’s a major task trying to reach this generation of high-tech kids, but I think Lifeway has once again done a great job.

In my tiny speck of the globe, I worked with the fifth graders, on the third floor of our Southern Baptist church. I really enjoyed this age group. We spent about an hour teaching the lesson, broken up into different games and activities. The rest of the morning, the kids went to worship ralley, crafts, snack, music, and recreation.

I found it amusing that one of the boys used his ipod to look up scripture, and he was always the first one to find it. “EPIC” seemed to be the word of the week, as in “Epic, man! That is so cool!” It’s exciting for me to be around kids who are being exposed to the Bible for the first time.

We once asked a question about Joseph, and a little voice piped up, “Is he the guy that got thrown in the lion’s den?” To which someone giggled, “No! That was Daniel, you dork.” We passed out Bibles and asked the kids to look up scripture. One girl flipped hers open then whispered to me, “Is Genesis before or after Isaiah?”

I loved all of this. These fifth graders will come of age around 2020 or 2030. They’ll be making decisions someday about where to live, what to do with their lives, whom to trust. I hope they’ll remember these days of VBS and seek the still, small voice of God as they plan their journeys.

The highlight this year was definitely the music! Jeff Slaughter did an amazing job with keeping the kids interested. I don’t know if he wrote and choreographed all the songs, but he’s the guy we saw dancing around on a big screen every morning singing “Tumbleweed” and “Like Jesus” (my personal favorites). You can listen to the songs here.

And now we have a whole year to get ready for the new 2011 theme: Big Apple Adventure!

Those of you who’ve been reading here for a while know I’m crazy about Japan. I taught English in Osaka for a couple of years, and when I came home, I left part of my heart over there. Well, I’ve become acquainted with a Christian mom who writes novels in North Carolina, after living in Japan 18 years! I’m so happy to introduce you to author Alice J. Wisler.

Hi Alice. Welcome to Mom 2 Mom! We’re so glad you’re here. Can you tell us a little about your background as the daughter of missionaries in Japan?

I was born in Osaka, Japan in the 1960s to career-missionary parents. I went to Japanese kindergarten in Osaka and an international elementary school in Kyoto. High school was in Kobe, and since the distance was far, I lived in the high school dorm for four years. Then I went back to teach English in a church-run school in the 80s after college and a stint in the Philippines. So, I’ve lived 18 years total in Japan.

Wow. That’s amazing! Do you still find yourself remembering Japan? How do you keep your memories alive? Do you have any favorite Japanese dishes that you like to eat or cook?

Japan is a huge part of my life. I love authentic Japanese food (Kanki and any restaurant that serves their food with sword-like knives is not what I grew up with). Sushi is my favorite. I like to make tempura at home with my fourteen-year-old son. I sing Japanese songs from childhood around the house all the time.

How did you get started writing fiction?

Boredom. I got tired of fighting with my younger brother and needed something else to do. I’ve been writing since first grade. My teacher had me stand up in front of the entire class and read my short stories. One was about having the “chicken pops” and one was about a birthday party. Fiction came to me at about third grade.

Do you think writing can be therapeutic for women who encounter difficult times in life?

Writing is one of the best forms of therapy. When you put your heart and all its anguish on paper, you experience clarity and comfort. I thank God every day for his gift to us in the healing that comes from the tool of writing through sorrow.

Can you share with us about your son, Daniel, and how your writing ministry for grieving parents began to develop?

Daniel, my second child, was diagnosed with neuroblastoma at the age of three in 1996. He went through chemo, radiation and surgeries to try to reduce and remove the malignant tumor in his neck. In 1997, he died in my arms. He was four. I was thirty-six.

Since then my world changed. I started Daniel’s House Publications in his memory and created a monthly ezine, wrote articles, remembrance cards, spoke at bereavement conferences, and was asked to lead writing workshops. I saw that this tool of writing benefits many, so eventually started teaching online writing courses.

What can people expect from taking your online course, “Writing the Heartache Writing Workshop?”

My online courses last five weeks. I send the assignments out via email and the attendees complete them and send them back to me for feedback. I offer guidelines on writing poetry, essays, and for publication. The five-week outline is available here at my website, as well as information on how to sign up.

Can you tell us about your “in-person” grief-writing seminar that will take place in North Carolina in July?

The all-day workshop I’ll hold on July 17th will be an expansion of what I offer online. We’ll write from photographs and from mementos. We’ll create poetry and essays and share. The atmosphere will be a warm one to tell our stories.

Not everyone will be writing about a significant loved one who has died. Some will participate and write about other losses — loss of dreams, broken relationships, etc. This event will take place at the Country Inns and Suites near the Raleigh-Durham, NC Airport from 8 AM to 5 PM. You can read more about this exciting day here.

Well, it looks like you’ve got a busy summer ahead. Congratulations on your novel, How Sweet It Is, being a finalist for the 2010 Christy Awards! Can you tell us about this book?

How Sweet It Is is about getting away from the past in order to heal and start a new future. Deena Livingston, the main character, has been in an accident and broken up with her fiance. She moves to a cabin in Bryson City in the Smoky Mountains where she’s to teach cooking to disadvantaged middle school kids in an after-school program. The story is about forgiveness.

Are you looking forward to traveling to St. Louis for the awards ceremony?

Yes, I’m looking forward to flying there later this month. I’ll also be signing advanced reading copies (ARCs) of Hatteras Girl at the International Christian Retailers Show held after the Christy Awards.

What is your new novel about?

Hatteras Girl is set in the Outer Banks. Jackie and her childhood friend, Minnie, want to take over the Bailey Bed and Breakfast in Nags Head, but obstacles (including a handsome realtor) get in the way. This is a story about having to wait for dreams to come true.

That’s a topic we’re all familiar with! Do you have any tips for parents who would love to find more time to write? Is it worth the effort?

Keep at it. Don’t give up! Make time to craft the best stories you can write. Edit often. Yes, it is worth the effort because there is no other satisfaction like having your work published.

Thank you for your encouraging advice! Do you have anything else you’d like to add?

Thanks for this interview, Heather. It’s been fun!

You can learn more about Alice J. Wisler and her really cool novels at her website. Be sure to check out the beauiful Dutch cover of Rain Song!

If you’ve been around the Christian mom blogging community for a while, you’ve most likely heard of Kelsey Kilgore, who blogs as Holy Mama. A west Texas mom of four, Kelsey recently published her first novel, A Love for Larkspur. She’s also a gifted humor writer and encourager for stressed-out, battle-worn parents.

Hi Kelsey. How’s the weather in Texas? Have you seen any more tumbleweeds lately?

Here in West Texas, it is HOT. We went to three baseball games on Saturday and at the start of the second game, it was 107 degrees. By the end of the third game it was cooling off at 100, and it felt lovely. Really! West Texas heat is dry, never humid, and that helps.

It’s so hot here, that vets recommend shaving your long-haired cats in the summer.

Isn’t he CUTE?! My ten-year old, Ethan, made the little purple shawl. I haven’t seen any tumbleweeds, but it isn’t really the season now — the best ones are found in winter.

Oh, that cat is ADORABLE — and the shawl too! Can you describe for us a typical west Texas summer scene? I mean, do people really walk around wearing cowboy hats and boots?

Why, yes …. yes you do often see hats and boots here, year-round. But that’s the exception, not the rule.

A typical scene … I don’t get out much and my life revolves around children, so bear with me. What comes to mind are endless Saturdays of kids’ sporting events, the happy shrieks of kids splashing at a swimming pool, and grilling outdoors with family. None of that sounds particularly unique to this part of the country, now that I think about it.

Oh! We feed prairie dogs sometimes, just for fun. They like pretzels and carrots.

A pretzel-eating prairie dog — now that’s definitely not something I’ve ever seen here in Georgia!

OK, I’ve been reading your blog for years. Do you think writing can help alleviate some of the major stresses moms face today?

Writing alleviates some of MY stresses as a mom. But other moms I talk to often say that writing would only add to their stress — everyone’s different. It’s not my major stress reliever — blogging, for me, is more of a tool for documenting my kids’ childhoods and these years in general.

I know this is a fast-paced time period, and I forget so much! I want to always be able to look back and see what I wrote/thought/believed during this time. I don’t mind sharing my life with whoever might be interested in reading about it — but largely, it’s written for the future me!

I agree — if I don’t write it down, I forget it! What else do you find to be a good stress reliever?

My two main stress relievers are cleaning and exercise. Preferably something fairly violent, with lots of punching and kicking of other individuals, but a punching bag will do. Since I tore my left ACL in September, I’m not cleared yet to go back to kickboxing.

In the meantime, I’m trying to build up strength and endurance so I’ll be ready for it again when the doctor gives the go-ahead in December. I haven’t always been this way — I only started exercising after antidepressants stopped working for postpartum depression after my 4-year-old was born.

Have you always wanted to be a writer?

Not really. Most of the time I don’t even think of myself as being a writer, even now. Writing was something that came very easily to me, and I knew it would always help me out in whatever I ended up doing. As it turns out, I’ve ended up mothering, mostly, with a little writing on the side. Next year all the kids will be in school full time, and maybe then I’ll be writing more — and thinking of myself as more of a writer!

Did you have a teacher or mentor who particularly encouraged you with writing?

Yes, Penny Arrington, high school English teacher extraordinaire. She was the sort of crazy-tough teacher that you either adored … or feared and had nightmares about for the rest of your life. (I mean that in a good way.)

She had super high standards and she expected every single student to meet them — and she pushed us very hard in order to help us get there. I admired that. I admired her. Still do. She’s a high school counselor now, and we had dinner about a year ago when I went back to my home town for a brief visit.

How did you get started writing fiction?

It was a God Thing. A very, very weird God Thing. One night, a very long time ago, I had a vivid dream with all sorts of interesting people. I woke up in the middle of the night and had a sense that I should make it into a book.

In order to let that crazy thought go, I prayed something I should never have prayed. I said, “God, if you want me to write that, help me remember all of it because I usually forget dreams. Amen and goodnight.” And I thought I’d go back to sleep. Instead, I stayed awake all night and scene after scene played out in my head in a way I’d never before (or since) experienced.

So the next day, exhausted, I started to write. It took almost a year. And what came out of that was truly a terrible read. But what ALSO came out of that was a whole year of hands-on learning in what to do and what not to do in fiction writing.

I learned so much from that experience — I wouldn’t trade that awful manuscript for anything! And nor would I read it again, for anything! Or subject anyone else to it — but still, it is precious to me if only in its immense personal value!

In your debut novel, A Love for Larkspur, your main character, Lark, has a close relationship with her mom. Is this based any on your relationship with your mom?

I wanted a good mom-daughter relationship in the story. At the time I wrote it, I was living here in Texas and my own mom was living in Australia. I only saw her once or maybe twice a year. I was also dealing with a mother figure in my life who was painfully, and suddenly, rejecting me.

Those feelings and issues are in there, and I intentionally wrote a strong, positive mom figure into the story so it wouldn’t come off as so “anti-mother!” That being said, my own wonderful mother is extremely different from Lark’s wonderful mother.

Do you enjoy having your mom live closer to you now? What’s your favorite activity to do with your mom?

Now that my mom DOES live close by, I’m so grateful for all the time we spend together! We like to shop or go eat or take the kids swimming. Occasionally she’ll get me to go antiquing with her (not my fave) or we’ll plant flowers or do yard work together.

For those of us who aren’t from Texas, can you tell us about larkspur? When does it bloom?

Larkspur is in bloom right this very second at my house, as you can see, next to golden Stella d’Oro daylilies.

The foliage is delicate, and ferny, and can look very much like a weed to a novice. So when we moved into our last house and a flowerbed seemed to be overrun with these little weedy plants, I tried to pull them all out.

Eventually, after ripping out thousands of them, I gave up. I was shocked to discover what the “survivors” turned out to be! And of course I wished that I’d left them alone. In subsequent years, that flowerbed recovered from my misguided efforts and every June it became a traffic-stopping display of the prettiest larkspur in town. The ones in the photo above were planted from seeds I took from our last house.

Why did you choose this name for your character?

I like unusual character names, and I love plants and flowers. It just worked out to combine the two!

In your novel, Lark enjoys jogging to ward off her stress. Do you also find exercise helps you cope? How do you make yourself go to the gym? Do you have any tips for the rest of us?

When I wrote about Lark jogging, I hadn’t started running. I’d always wanted to, but didn’t think I’d be any good and hadn’t ever tried. I’m a runner now, but I’m fairly new.

When the antidepressants stopped working for the postpartum depression, the doctor suggested hardcore exercise. And I hated this idea. Everyone else at the gym was probably skinny and knew what they were doing — and I had baby-weight and varicose veins. I had no business being there. But the drugs weren’t working and my depressed face-planting on the carpet wasn’t working out so well, so I committed.

I made myself go to the gym and exercise every single day — even though I couldn’t stand it — for six weeks. And then I noticed that I liked it. After that, I let myself go just four times a week if I wanted to, and if it felt like it was enough to keep me sane — but oddly, I usually wanted to go more frequently than that.

Now I still go because I want to. I don’t feel like I’m myself if I skip for very long. That’s all the motivation I need. (And I like to work out at home or go for a run or try other gyms. Not being tied to one location helps). But whatever motivation YOU need? Give it to yourself.

If you want to schedule it so you watch Project Runway while you’re on the treadmill, go for it. Whatever works, within reason, is worth it. Before long, you won’t need to be so creative. But don’t let yourself think, like I did, that you don’t belong or you’re not good enough, or you’ll never fit in with the skinny group. I have social anxiety issues, can you tell?

Oh! And make yourself try a class! I like almost all of them. I’m not coordinated enough for Step classes, but am not above making a total fool of myself in a Zumba class or dropping the barbell on my foot in a weightlifting class. Gyms are full of dorks like me, so it turns out, I fit right in. (And I did get skinny! And sane. Okay, well, no, that’s a total lie, but sane for ME, and I even wear shorts. Short ones!)

I read in ParentLife magazine that you’ve found blogging to be a good way to share your faith. In your four years of writing online, what has been the most positive aspect of blogging?

Overall, the most positive moments have also been the hardest. Our 16-year-old daughter has been a challenge to raise, and we’ve had a heartbreaking four years of placing her in various residential treatment centers and trying to navigate through her psychological/emotional/mental issues and stay strong (and safe) as a family. Sometimes we’ve been successful, and at others we haven’t.

My heart aches for the parents in similar situations who find me by googling various diagnoses their children have been given, and we often end up in long, tearful but supportive email exchanges. None of that happens on my website where people see it — it’s a behind-the- scenes operation that can be emotionally draining, time-consuming, and a wonderfully precious way to tell a mom or a dad, “You are not alone. And you will be okay. I have lived through this and so will you. There is life on the other side of this.”

I remember all too well those dark, hopeless periods of parenting her, and these people often write from that same desperate place — and are stunned at finding someone who understands what no one else in their life has understood. They’re good parents. They’re trying their hardest, and they’re falling apart by the time I hear from them. Those conversations are often divinely timed and inspired.

I’m honored at the way God uses my little website to bless these sweet, depleted parents. I had no idea that sort of thing would ever happen, much less, regularly. But it does, and those exhausted, often misunderstood parents are dear to me in a way I find difficult to explain. Their stories are mine as well — one I don’t often write about except in my emails to these dear strangers.

Kelsey, you have an amazing ministry. Keep it up! Who knew blogging humorous slice-of-life stories would put you on the front lines encouraging battle-weary parents?

Now, back to your fiction writing, do you have plans to write any mom-lit in the future?

Yes, well, maybe. In theory. But you know what always stops me? It feels weird to create children’s characters that are wonderful that I want to spend time with, and yet they’re not my own children. Characters become so real to me, it feels disloyal in a sense.

All the best parts of my male leads come straight from my husband, so I’ve never felt conflicted there. One day I’ll resolve that in my head and make it work. I adore writing about kids and what they say and how they think — I just haven’t transferred that over to fiction yet!

I hope you will someday! In closing, do you have any advice for moms who desire to write with a house full of kids, dogs, cats, and piles of laundry?

You can do it. It doesn’t matter if it’s good. It’s YOURS. And just because of that, it has value and so it’s worth the effort. If you want to write, you really, really, really should. If it’s for an audience one day, great! If it’s not, that’s just as great! Your thoughts and ideas and creativity deserve an outlet, and if writing is the one you choose, I applaud the choice.

Don’t let the kids, pets, and laundry be your excuses not to do it. I wrote entire book-length manuscripts while breastfeeding babies and perfecting the One-Handed Because I’m Holding a Baby ALL THE TIME And Look — There’s One On My Boob Now Isn’t He CUTE Typing Style.

It can — and should — be done, regardless of children, laundry, or other bits of Life. My mom once gave me the book Anybody Can Write, by Roberta Jean Bryant. I recommend it.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, Kelsey! You’ve offered us so many great ideas. I think we’re all ready to lasso our next challenge. Yee-ha!

Be sure to visit Kelsey Kilgore’s website and Holy Mama blog, where she rounds up her highly entertaining tales of motherhood and occasional recipes involving pine nuts.

I’ve posted over at Young Ladies Christian Fellowship today — please come visit!

This is a wonderful organization where my sister-in-law writes and edits. I’ve posted on the topic, Sharing Your Heart as a Devotional Writer. If you know any teen writers, I’m offering a few good writing tips for them!

According to several writing circles, the month of June has been declared “Cecil Murphey Appreciation Month.” If the teaching and writing ministries of Cecil Murphey have touched you in any way, please announce this to your friends and send him a note of thanks!

Cecil Murphey is one of the most gifted and prolific Christian writers I know. He’s authored over 100 books and teaches at inspirational writing conferences around the world. Several of his books have become bestsellers, though he’s often telling someone else’s story. One of his specialties is ghostwriting.

Have you heard of the book, 90 Minutes in Heaven? It’s the story of Don Piper, who survived an auto accident and lives to tell his incredible experiences. On the cover of the book, you’ll notice it says “By Don Piper, with Cecil Murphey.” Cec is the writer who helped Don Piper shape his story into the book that it is. He interviewed Don and wrote his story, which has become a New York Times bestseller.

Another of his well-known books is Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story. This book was recently made into a movie, starring Cuba Gooding Jr. Two more of his ghostwritten books that I enjoyed reading include Rebel With a Cause (Franklin Graham’s life story) and Touchdown Alexander.

Cecil Murphey leads a fascinating life as a writer, getting to interview so many interesting people. I’ve been blessed to hear Cec speak several times. When I first heard him, it was at the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers’ Conference. I wondered who in the world he was because when he walked up to the podium, everyone stood up and started screaming and clapping, “CEC! CEC!” before a word even came out of his mouth. I thought this must be someone really important.

During that speech, Cec’s first words were “I’ve received over 900 rejections in my life as a writer.” Then he paused. “But I’ve published over 100 books.” He encouraged all of us in attendance to not be afraid to submit our work, that rejections were part of the writing journey, even for successful authors.

I went to another conference through American Christian Writers where Cec Murphey was the keynote speaker. I attended four or five of his workshops and asked him a million questions about the writing life. He has been a great mentor to me.

God has blessed Cec Murphey’s writing ministry financially, and every year he gives away thousands of dollars in scholarships for writers. Right now, you have until July 1 to apply for a scholarship to attend the Write His Answer conference in Philadephia. You can keep up with his news on his Writer to Writer blog.

All of us here in the blogosphere rise up and applaud Cecil Murphey for his gifts of teaching and writing. Thank you, Cec!

I just found out about a new anthology that is seeking first-person inspirational essays. The deadline is August 15, 2010, so that gives you all summer to scribble out your thoughts on faith while your kids are napping or playing in the sandbox.

You can find out more details on the Cup of Comfort website, but here’s what they say on the Call for Submissions page:

For this anthology of 40-50 inspirational true stories, we are looking for narrative personal essays (creative-nonfiction short stories) written by and for Christian women that reveal how one’s faith has provided (provides) insight, guidance, comfort, and joy in navigating one’s life. Other acceptable themes include: tests of faith; reconciling personal beliefs/behavior with those of church; impact of your ministries on others, you, your faith.

We are not interested in “preachy” stories that tell other people how to live their lives and how to practice their faith. Nor are we interested in stories that promote one branch, denomination, or form of Christianity over another. What we’re interested in is how your faith positively impacts your life and, by extension, the lives of and your relationships with your loved ones and/or the world at large. You may cite one or more Biblical passages in your story; however, please keep in mind that this is a collection of personal stories and not a devotional.

Stories must be original, unpublished, true, and positive. Stories can focus on any of life’s challenges and/or blessings, and can be either serious or humorous or contain elements of both literay tones.

Story Length: 750 to 1500 words
Submission Deadline: August 15, 2010
Finalist Notification: August 20, 2010
Compensation: $50 + copy of book, per published story

Well, ladies, let’s get busy writing! Somebody wants your stories, and at the very least, you’ll be writing a legacy you can file and keep for your family to enjoy. Don’t you wish your grandparents had written down their legacies of faith for you? If they did, you’re blessed indeed!!

In honor of Mother’s Day, I want to highlight one of my all-time favorite writers, Marion Bond West. She’s the author of hundreds of stories in Guideposts magazine, as well as several books. I grew up devouring my mother’s Guideposts as soon as they came in the mail, and when I was in college, my dear grandfather started giving me gift subscriptions, which continued into my 30s. It’s because of Guideposts that I learned to love the art of writing inspirational essays.

Marion Bond West’s stories always leaped off the page at me, especially because we’re from the same state of Georgia. I couldn’t believe how effortless she made it seem to write about her deep, dark secrets and struggles. It’s this type of transparent writing that opens a reader’s heart. Marion opened mine when I could tell her stories were probably written with a box of tissues close by.

I had the awesome privilege of sharing dinner with Marion and her husband when she was the keynote speaker at a Christmas event in my hometown a few years ago. I wrote up this experience, and it’s still one of the most-read posts in my archives, which you can read here.

When her book, Praying for My Life, was released, I wanted to review it for my Christian Women Online Book Buzz column, and I asked her publicist if I could interview Marion. Which I did, by telephone.

She was so gracious to take the time to speak to me, even though she has millions of readers who would love a minute of her time! I asked her the question that had been burning on my heart after reading her book, “How do you KNOW God is speaking to you?”

And she answered, “Oh, He’s speaking to you all the time. Just listen, and you’ll know.”

I want to be a better writer. I want to be able to write more transparently, like Marion. But I have such a hard time doing this, and I especially don’t feel comfortable writing about my kids. You’d think with a blog called “Mom 2 Mom Connection,” I’d get a kick out of blabbing about my own children, but I don’t. They’re the source of my private joys and frustrations, which I write about mostly in my pen-and-paper journal. It’s a safe, quiet place for me to work out my faith.

As I grow older, and as my kids grow older, perhaps I’ll feel more comfortable opening up. It’s easier to share a lesson learned when the lesson is over than when you’re in the midst of trial. Right now, I’m still focusing on survival.

I think that’s why I’ve enjoyed Marion’s stories so much about her early years of mothering. It was hard, sticky, messy, exhausting, but when she wrote about it, she’d lived through it and had gained the perspective she needed to encourage the rest of us. Her story, “Glory at the Garbage Can” is my absolute favorite. In it, she writes about the time when her twin sons were two, and she fled the house into the night, carrying sacks of trash. Alone at the garbage can, she finally has a moment of privacy, and as she confesses her failings as a mother, God intervenes, and gives her joy. I love this kind of writing. I just don’t know how to do it!

I recently discovered that Marion Bond West and her daughter, Julie West Garmon, who is also a wonderful writer, have a new blog together, called Woman to Woman. I can’t wait to browse through their posts! I also discovered a couple of beautiful essays Marion wrote for a blogging friend, Aging Gracefully — From a Seventy-Something Perspective, part one and part two.

Guideposts is currently collecting stories focusing on motherhood. Do you have a memory of you and your mom that you want to preserve? Read here for some examples, and read here to learn how you can submit your own.

I wish you all a Happy Mother’s Day!

I hope all of you moms out there are having a great summer, enjoying these school-free days with your children. I’m keeping busy driving kids to summer camps and the pool.

Today, we made three big batches of homemade play-dough, and it’s amazing how this never fails to entertain all ages.

I have another lovely article to post here, with permission from the author. I hope you can find a few minutes to read Karen’s thoughts. She inspires me to seek contentment and joy, found in the relationships I treasure.

Multiple Streams of Contentment

By Karen Whiting

My mother didn’t smile on my wedding day. She spent the day overwhelmed with sadness although she loved me and loved my fiancé. He was everything she wanted in a husband for me. The wedding stayed within budget and everything went off fairly smoothly. My extended family all attended, everyone got along, and tried to cheer her up. Yet, my wedding photos will always show her sad expression.

The day before the wedding my mentally handicapped brother had lost his little job of waiting on tables at a school cafeteria. Although social workers could easily place him in a new position, mom remained discontented and focused on that problem the entire day. She made the mistake of magnifying one problem, so that it robbed her of joy on such a happy occasion.

Many people let one problem override all the blessings in their lives. It steals their contentment. They forget to trust their anxieties to God and rejoice in the blessings he has given them.

Some people fixate on something until it changes their personality and fills them with negative emotions that spill out in sin. Herodias, in Matthew 14, is an example of a person whose discontent led to a life of sin. She had a husband but chose the sin of adultery. She must have been discontent with her husband. She felt more discontent at hearing John the Baptist speak of repentance and point out her sin. That led to her plotting the murder of John the Baptist. She trampled over people and even used her beautiful daughter to get her way. She ignored John’s calls to repent, the one action that would have healed her heart and given her joy. Her bad choice snowballed into disaster for many.

In contrast, Paul spoke about contentment in Philippians four and said that he had learned to be content in prosperous circumstances and impoverished situations. His circumstances could not rob him of his joy or peace. It is very seldom that every detail in life is perfect because we live in a fallen world, but we can make choices that help us remain content despite our circumstances.

My mother finally discovered how to be content after a stroke left her partially paralyzed. She started to listen as we expressed gratitude for her life and what she could still do. When she complained that she could no longer do crafts, I mentioned that with her good hand she could write letters, a lost art, to grandchildren away at college and to her friends. She struggled to use a walker and spent much of her time in a wheelchair, but she spent time thanking God for her blessings of family, the patient care-giving of my father, the use of one hand, and a new ministry of writing letters of encouragement to family and friends. She realized that joy came as she filled her life with multiple streams of contentment.

Viewing all the different blessings in life is like seeing many streams that flow into an ocean or a lake. If one stream dries up, others keep flowing. One stream of contentment we can create is to do something for others. It gives us purpose. List your abilities and talents and consider ways to use them to bless others.

God is a giver of blessings. We learn in James 1:16-17, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” Blessings from God may be in the form of friends, financial security, a home, health, pets, clothing, and food. The meeting of our basic needs is a gift. Each one of these can become a stream filled with blessings. So let the abundance of gratitude for blessings flow into your heart. Consider each aspect of life as a different stream. There is always one stream that is bubbling up with blessings to fill your life with contentment.

In Philippians four, Paul provides wisdom regarding contentment: he urges people to live in harmony, rejoice in the Lord, and give anxieties to God in prayer. He encourages people to let their minds dwell on positive thoughts, stating that we should think about what is true, lovely, honorable, pure, true, and anything excellent. Positive thoughts help our emotions flow in an optimistic direction. To do this, list the blessings in each stream of life.

Spiritual streams include a relationship with Jesus, prayer, church family, Christian music, Bible study, and church fellowship.

Relational streams include family, friends, faith friends, co-workers, acquaintances, and new people we meet.

Blessings in daily life include past memories, pleasant thoughts, encouraging words, compliments, accomplishments, laughter, and smiles.

In creating the world, God also created beauty to provide natural streams of contentment filled with beautiful sunsets and sunrises, wonders of nature, blossoms, gentle breezes, showers that cause the earth to spring forth in color, and creatures that scurry and fly about.

After listing the positives, praise God for each one. Thank God for each friend and every little circumstance that is going well.

Then list past prayer requests that God answered. Thank God again for each response. Then add any new prayer needs. It’s easier to trust God and give away worries when you recall the past times when God met your needs.

To prevent the flow of blessings from drying up, of being blocked as a dam blocks a river’s flow, spend time nurturing the streams. Paul’s contentment continued in prison and despite hardships. He nurtured his relationships. He continually prayed and wrote letters. He sent greetings to friends and encouraged his companions and fellow-workers with praise. Paul’s later years stood in stark contrast to the discontented man who watched alone, as his soldiers stoned Stephen (Acts 7:58-8:3). They placed Stephen’s cloak at Paul’s feet. It’s a lonely image of someone isolated from others. He made threats from the anger of discontentment and asked others to write letters for him, letters to imprison Christians. As a Christian, he viewed the blessings in life as gifts from God and knew the joy of friendships.

Paul developed a network of friends everywhere he traveled. And he encouraged his friends to live in harmony and stay focused on their relationship with Jesus. Paul’s letters to Timothy urge Timothy to continue his relationship with God, to visit him, and to fill his life with loving actions.

Paul’s wise words offer ways to keep the streams flowing. First, continue in your relationship with God. Do not let blockage occur from sin. His letters encourage people to keep the relationship with God right and strong. He sang songs in jail and praised God in the midst of trials. Secondly, work at relationships. Keep in touch with people, invite them to visit, praise them and express gratitude for their friendship. Paul generated streams in lives of others. Paul had discovered the truth of Jesus’ words in John 7:38, “Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.”

My mother suffered from cancer in the final months of her life. When she called to say she had cancer I asked, “Mom, are you ready to go home to the Lord?” She said, ” Yes.” I could hear joy in her voice in spite of pain that filled her body. My children put together little care packages and wrapped up a tiny treasure to open each day. They made little crafts, wrote cards, wrapped photos, and taped messages. She smiled at each little gift. She had something positive to look forward to each day. My father, her husband of fifty years, read Scriptures at her request. She nurtured the streams.

My mentally handicapped brother had to be coaxed to visit her. He didn’t think mom would know him because she was so near death. As he entered the room I asked, “Mom, do you know who is here.” She almost yelled, something very difficult for her to do and said, “Johnny. I hear Johnny.” That melted Johnny’s heart and he stayed by her side for the afternoon, holding a cup and straw for her to sip water. She thanked him. She had learned to work at the relationships even when it became most difficult.

Until her final hours my mother did not feel pain. As she passed on to heaven, my dad and some siblings surrounded her. My mother had learned an important truth: streams of contentment can be a powerful force to ease pain, change our perspective, and create peace in our hearts.

About the Author:

A creative person with creative solutions- that’s Karen Whiting! She has a heart for busy women and desires to help them free up time for what God has truly called them to do in relationships and ministry. She challenges listeners to discover ways to connect, serve, and treasure one another.

Karen found time to follow God’s call to write even while she and husband, Jim moved around the US and raised their five children. They currently live on Maryland’s eastern shore and are new grandparents.

An author of ten books for women, families and children, Karen writes to creatively strengthen families. Her articles have appeared in dozens of magazines, including Focus on the Family, Today’s Christian Woman, Christian Parenting Today, and Parent Life. Karen has been named Who’s Who of American Women, Who’s Who in the World, and Professional Speakers Network member of the year award. Karen has been a guest on numerous radio shows and hosted the educational television series Puppets on Parade. With humor and inspiration, Karen loves to encourage women to nurture their relationships and family life.

Find out more about Karen at her website.

To schedule Karen for a speaking event or interview, please contact Kathy Carlton Willis Communications at WillisWay@aol.com or check out the KCW blog.

I’m thrilled to be hosting a special guest today, Vonda Skelton, a fellow writer who has become a dear friend!

I’ve met Vonda a couple of times at writer conferences, and we’ve bonded since we both love children’s books. And she’s a neighbor, right next door in South Carolina! I interviewed Vonda a couple of years ago here and here about her drama script writing and her series of children’s mystery books.

Recently, I had the privilege of reading Vonda’s Skelton’s first book for women, which was amazing. It’s called Seeing Through the Lies: Unmasking the Myths Women Believe, published by Regal. If you’re looking for a refreshing and challenging book for a women’s Bible study, I really loved this one! (And it’s FUNNY too — always a plus for me.)

Vonda has stopped in today to answer a few questions for us. After the interview, if you’ll take a minute to leave a comment, you’ll be entered in a great contest with awesome prizes!

Hi Vonda. Thanks for coming back to visit! Where did you birth the idea for your book, Seeing Through the Lies? How did it come about?

This book was written out of my passion for women’s ministry. We — not just women, but all of us — are deceived by so many lies! They are woven throughout today’s culture. I wanted to help us get focused, or in some cases, refocused, on the timeless truths of God’s Word.

I knew I could reach many more women through a book than I ever could reach through my speaking ministry. So, I started with the key points from my “Celebrating Womanhood” presentation, where we look at the seasons of a woman’s life and come to the conclusion that God can use each of us, no matter our age or situation.

After several revisions and rethinking the needs of women, Seeing Through the Lies was born.

Oh, I wish I could hear your presentation! I’m sure there are many of us who wonder how God can use us in the season we’re in. What takeaway points do you hope the reader pulls from this book?

I hope that after women read my book they’ll realize that Satan works hard to make us believe his lies, but this is what God wants you to know:

* Your worth is not dependent on your beauty, your busyness, or your stuff.
* A happy marriage is one that endures.
* Motherhood is an honorable profession.
* God has the power to overcome your fear.
* You win when you lose.
* Your life won’t be perfect until you reach perfection in heaven.
* You can’t win God’s love because of your goodness, and you can’t lose His love because of your sin. And that, dear sisters, is the truth.

Wow! These are really wonderful truths. Vonda, you’re a prolific writer, mother, and grandmother. How do you deal with your other obligations (family, job, church, etc.) when it’s crunch time near writing deadlines?

Did you have to ask that question? In all honesty, this is one of my biggest struggles — balancing my time between my husband, my family, my home, my church, and my writing and speaking ministry.

The truth is, my husband, Gary, is a dream husband. As I mentioned in the book, his mother made sure he knew how to cook, clean, change diapers, and iron long before we married.

AMAZING!! I’m taking notes now of things to be sure my sons know how to do.

And I know you’re not going to believe this, but I promise it’s true: I never have to ask him to take out the trash, fix the car, or pay the bills. (And no–you CAN’T have him! He’s MINE!) So on those days when he comes home from work at 6:30 and there’s no dinner on the stove and I’m still at the computer in my pajamas, he doesn’t say a word. He simply goes to the fridge, pulls out the sandwich makings and asks if I’ve eaten anything that day.

Can you tell I tend to get tunnel vision when it comes to crunch time? Yes, God has to rein me in over and over. I’m kinda like Paul, “I don’t know why I do the things I do!” (Now, if somebody out there could just tell me how to go to the potty without having to actually leave the computer — just think how much more I could accomplish in a day!)

You are SO funny, Vonda! That’s why you had me laughing out loud at your refreshing honesty in your book. I feel the same way about wanting desperately to find time to write, but needing to cook, do laundry, and clean my house — all at the same time.

Here’s another question for you — What’s your favorite worship song, and why?

One of my favorite songs is “Majesty” written by members of Delirious. The line that says, “Your grace has found me just as I am — empty-handed but alive in Your hand” just gets to me.

I can see myself standing before Holy God, falling to my knees … empty-handed, with nothing to offer Him. And yet, He takes me just as I am — selfish, self-centered, and proud — and cleans me up to be used by Him.

I can’t wait to get to heaven, ’cause I know that when I belt out the songs there, it will be beautiful! No off-key notes, no frightened, trembling voice — it’ll be loud and clear and powerful! And Jesus will be there, smiling at me. Yep. I can see it now. I’m the lead singer and Hillsong is backing me up. And Jesus is smiling real big.

As we say here in the South, it just don’t get no better than that!

Well said! Now since many of us here are trying to balance motherhood with a writing life, what kind of food or drink do you crave the most when you have writer’s stress?

Oh, a banana split always works, as long as it’s a real one. That means chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice cream, real fruit, and wet nuts, with whipped cream on top. And anything chocolate, of course. But then you have to balance it with salt, right?

Sounds delicious. I think I could use a banana split right now! Can you share something with us about what God has been teaching you lately?

He’s teaching me that I need to trust Him more. I recently had so many things going on that I couldn’t prepare for three events as thoroughly as I usually do.

I found myself feeling vulnerable, weak, and needy. Not that I don’t ask for His help every time I speak, but this was different. I was crying out to God, begging Him to fill me with His words, His message.

And you know what? Those three events were the most powerful, most amazing events I’ve ever had! Instead of working from a well-defined plan, I spoke the words God placed in my heart and mind. As always, I had been praying God would use the week’s events to change hearts … and He did. He changed mine.

I learned to relinquish my agenda and plans to His; to trust Him in a way I hadn’t truly trusted Him before. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

That week, God’s power was made perfect through my weakness. I never want to work in my strength again.

It sounds like your speaking ministry is helping the Lord reach thousands of women, as well as YOU! What are some of the lies or myths women tend to believe? And what are the best ways for women to see through the lies and unmask the myths, in order to live the lives God would have for them?

You mean, besides the one that says we have to be a size 2 and perpetually 23 years old?

HA! YES!! What about us real women who haven’t been a size 2 since we were in, say, junior high?

Besides the lies we’re most familiar with — like our worth is based on our beauty, our busyness, or our stuff — we look at nine areas of deceit women tend to struggle with, like the lies inadvertently promoted by the Christian community.

How many times have we been told, “Just believe God and everything will be wonderful?” Or “If you have enough faith, you won’t be sick.” (The truth is, Jesus tells us we will have trouble in this world.)

Or what about the lie that says we’ll get married and live happily ever after every day? The only way we can unmask the myths and find the truth is to go to God’s Word. Read His instruction. Take to heart the Bible stories of people who lived through similar experiences and then apply the principles to our own lives.

What are the effects of women being sucked in to the lies? And what are the benefits of overcoming this temptation to believe what the world and the enemy would want women to believe?

Regardless of where I go, I find that women are disappointed. We’re disappointed in ourselves, in our marriages, in our lives in general. The problem is, we’re trying to reach some impossible dream the world sets for us.

Living in truth frees us to be what God uniquely created us to be. He wants us to live the abundant life. But we can’t do that as long as we’re falling for the lies.

I like how you utilize humor in your writings. What is your philosophy about integrating humorous thoughts into writings that have more serious subjects?

Some people believe that Christian women speakers have somehow “arrived.” Ha! All you have to do is spend a day at my house and you’ll see that’s one of the biggest lies of all!

Let’s face it, we’re all in the same boat. We’re all struggling along this path called the Christian life. When we laugh at ourselves, we level the playing field and see that we’re not alone. That in itself removes a mask. Then we can move ahead to the truth God has for us.

You give great discussion questions at the end of the book that really helps readers assimilate what they have read. Do you have some ideas or suggestions for how churches and other groups can use this book in a group study? How would a group dynamic enhance individual growth?

For a long time, I compared myself to women at church … and always found myself lacking. But when we come together and honestly confess our hardships and celebrate our successes, we encourage each other in the struggle. Isn’t it great to have a team of prayer partners who will intercede on our behalf throughout the week?

What strength! What love! Oh, just imagine what we can be for Christ when we take off the masks and become real! By completing either one or two chapters a week, the study can be used as a 6 or 12 week study.

Vonda, this was a fantastic interview! Thank you so much for sharing your heart here and through your book. You’ve shared such wisdom with us all.

*******

And now you — my wonderful readers here — have the opportunity to be placed in a drawing for a free gift selected just for you by Vonda. This is a GREAT prize!

If you can take a moment and leave a comment, you’ll be included in a drawing, which will be held on April 2, 2008. The winner will receive:

* Designer Gift Box (looks like a piece of luggage with the words “Faith, Family, Friends” on the exterior).
* One copy each of three books by the author: Seeing Through the Lies: Unmasking the Myths Women Believe, Bitsy and the Mystery at Amelia Island, Bitsy and the Mystery at Tybee Island.
* A stretchy bracelet with Sterling Silver Beads, Gold Swarovski Pearls, Turquoise and Blue Zircon Swarovski Crystals and Sterling Silver Masquerade Mask Charm.
* Bookmark custom-made with Sterling Silver Beads, Gold Swarovski Pearls, Turquoise, Blue Zircon and Clear Swarovski Crystals and Sterling Silver Masquerade Mask Charm on a 4.75 inch Silver Plated Bookmark.
* Gold Tri-fold picture frame.
* Pewter-colored oval picture frame.
* Jeweled decorated cross.
* Peanut caramel clusters.
* Caramel Truffles.
* Mini-Yankee Candle.
* Three-pack sample tea bags.
* Sample Columbian Supremo Coffee.
* Oh My! Itty Bitty Chai Packet.

Don’t those prizes sound like fun! And they’d also make great gifts for Mother’s Day, which will be here before you know it. Thanks, y’all!