In this month’s Christian Women Online, Ann Voskamp wrote:

It is the beginning of the list season: lists of menus, lists of hand-made projects, lists of addresses, lists of baking goodies … lists of gifts.

I am seeing things I have never seen before, atuned and aware of this constant, endless stream of gifts from His hand. I am one waking from slumber….from the stupor of indifference and ignorance. I have sight, fresh and keen—the world is new and full of His gifts.

Ann is making a list of one thousand things she’s thankful for — and you can join in too! You can make the list on your blog and join up with the other participants with the “Mr. Linky” set up here at CWO.

I’ve given this some thought and have decided to keep a record of my thankful reflections in my paper journal — something I keep nearby in the kitchen where I’m working. I’ll come back and add some to this post in a few days.

I can already tell a difference in my heart as I focus more on having an attitude of gratitude.

11/23/06:

Thank you, Lord, for the pitter-patter of children’s feet coming down to breakfast (They’re not burdens; they’re blessings!).

Thank you for the coming few days where we’ll celebrate Thanksgiving feasts with family.

Thank you for faithful writers in the blogosphere who connect us through our faith.

11/24/06:

Today I’m overwhelmed with joy! My brother and his wife announced they are expecting their first child next summer. I’m going to become an aunt! Thank you, Lord, for this wonderful news!

11/25/06:

I hung our seven stockings today on the mantle. Christmas is coming. The anticipation in our home is starting to build. I’m looking forward to a whole month of celebrating this year.

11/28/06:

Two precious treasures from yesterday. In cleaning out our basement, we rediscovered my oldest son’s battery-powered train set — it’s been boxed away three or four years. Now it’s perfect for his little brother. We went and bought six new “size C” batteries, and it runs! Smoke even comes out the steam engine.

Another gift: my husband, exhausted as he was from his day at work, carried our Christmas tree upstairs, and now the train set is running around the base of the tree. What a glorious sight — increasing our anticipation toward Christmas!

November is National Adoption Month, so I want to highlight a family who has been blessed by adoption.

A few months ago, when I read R.K. (Randy) Mortenson’s baby announcement on Novel Journey, I knew I wanted to invite him here to share his family’s incredible story.

Randy is the author of the immensely popular Landon Snow fantasy adventure series of books, published by Barbour. The books have biblical themes and are wonderful stories for kids — and grown-ups!

After serving “eight great years” as a Navy chaplain based in Jacksonville, Florida, the Mortenson family recently moved across the U.S. where Randy now pastors a church in Mayville, North Dakota.

Hi Randy. Can you tell us about your adoption journey?

In late 2002, my wife Betsy and I had been married 9 years and were still childless. So far as we knew, we were capable of conceiving; it just hadn’t happened. We began to think about adopting, and we talked with a couple who had recently adopted a boy from Vietnam.

Betsy had actually been to Vietnam on buying trips twice as the director of a gift shop in Okinawa (where I was stationed with the Navy as a chaplain). She loved it, and we thought of looking into an international adoption there. However, agencies and doors were closing in Vietnam about that time, and just when we were wondering where else we might look, an opportunity from the States was brought to our attention.

A young teenage girl was pregnant, whom we knew through family connections, and was seeking a family to adopt the baby. The father, also a teenager, was from Mexico. Might we be interested?

That question: “How would you feel about adopting a Mexican baby?” came to us in an e-mail. Betsy had read it, printed it out, and brought it to me speechless with tears in her eyes. I read it and the world did one of those collapsing and then greatly expanding motions. The decision hardly seemed a decision. This baby seemed predestined to be our little girl.

Since the biological mother and father knew us and we knew them, it was an open adoption, meaning we did not go through an agency. We hired a lawyer to represent us and do all of the paperwork. We were living in Okinawa, and the baby was born in Minnesota, so there were some loops to jump through.

We found a qualified counselor in Okinawa to do our pre- and post home studies. One of the greatest things was — we got to both be present for the delivery. Oh … my … goodness. Easily the greatest moment in my life since my wedding day. And even cooler in a way, that my wife and I were sharing this moment of expanding our love and growing into a family. I even got to snip the umbilical cord!

That’s wonderful! It sounds like you had an ideal experience. Your daughter is so blessed to have you as her parents. Can you tell us about the special meaning of her name?

We named our baby girl Kyra (long “i” sound: “Ki-rah”) which sounds like the Greek word for “rejoice.” The day after she was born we took her home from the hospital. Actually, we took her to my mother’s house, until we could get her passport to fly to Okinawa.

Because of our unusual situation — being in the military overseas — we were able to have the adoption finalized by the judge (who happened to be a former Marine Corps officer who had served in Okinawa!) when Kyra was four days old. Incredible.

Kyra turned 3 in August and started preschool 3 times a week this fall. She loves it. She brings us so much joy!

You have another baby now, a son. Can you tell us about him?

This is another rather remarkable story!

It’s late 2005, and we’re living in Jacksonville, Florida. I’m stationed at Naval Station Mayport nearby. We know we’re leaving Florida in October 2006, when I would be separating from the Navy. Betsy and I still haven’t conceived. Our family of three is wonderful. But … we’d like Kyra to have a sibling. And we’d like to have another child for us, too. (smile.)

So we decide to start the paperwork at a local Christian agency called Bundle of Hope. At first we think another Hispanic-American baby would be nice, like Kyra.

But when the counselor came to do our home study in late January, I shared with him the visions I’d been having. Over the previous two months, whenever I was picturing another child in our family, I’d realize after the fact that I was seeing a little black boy. Every time.

Wow — this sounds amazing!

So I told him this, and he seemed thrilled. I also said, “We are totally open to whatever child God may have in mind for us. But … I keep seeing this little black boy.”

The home-study counselor shared this with the case counselor at the agency. Three days after the home study, on a Tuesday, we turned in our final piece of the application: our family picture profile. Then it was time to wait. And pray.

It was February now, and to be selected as adoptive parents and go through the process and finalize an adoption before October … well, this would take a miracle. It could be months — or longer — just to be selected by a birth mother. But all we could do was wait. And hope. And pray.

And so we did.

For one whole week.

The following Tuesday, one week after we had turned in our picture profile, the agency counselor called. An African-American woman who had been coming to the agency for counseling for a few months had come in that day saying she needed to find a family for this baby … now.

So the counselor took out our profile, which included pictures of us and described who we are as a family, our interests, jobs, Christian testimony, and some of our history. The counselor also told this woman about my vision. And the woman broke down in tears. “This is the family,” she said.

She didn’t even want to look at another profile, though the agency usually shows at least three. The woman knew she was pregnant with a boy. And she was due in eight weeks.

This time it wasn’t an e-mail, but I called Betsy on my cell phone on my way home from an evening meeting at the base chapel.

“Hurry home,” she said.

“Honey,” I said. “I’m on my way home. What’s wrong?”

“We’re going to have a baby boy … in eight weeks!”

The world shrank; the world expanded. My heart thudded. I gaped into the cell phone. And I tried to concentrate on driving. Eight weeks!

That didn’t give you much time to get ready!

Colby actually arrived six and a half weeks later. Born on a Sunday morning. I called another chaplain on the way to the hospital and he said he’d cover for me at the chapel service. Betsy and I had met the birth mother previously. In fact, Betsy had accompanied her on a few doctor’s visits, and Kyra and I went to one of the ultrasounds to see Colby early. And, lo and behold, once again, we were both present for our child’s birth. This time Betsy cut the umbilical cord! Wow.

How is your son doing these days?

Colby is 8 months old now, and he is so cute! I have never seen such kissable cheeks in my life. Man, he’s fun.

And the story doesn’t end there. Let me backtrack for a moment, first.

After we heard the good news about Colby and were preparing the nursery for him at home, we knelt by the empty crib and prayed. The emotions zing up in me now as I think and write about it again. I prayed how grateful I was that we hadn’t conceived, because Kyra and now Colby were meant to be our children. I was so content and so fully satisfied with the thought of the four of us. It had been God’s plan. No question in my mind.

And then Colby arrived and I thought, well, now we’re set. A boy and a girl and a family of four. Perfect.

Then on Colby’s two-month birthday, last May, I came home from an early morning prayer breakfast downtown. I was about to change into my uniform to go to a Marine’s retirement ceremony, when Betsy tells me to go look in the bathroom.

What? I’m thinking I don’t have time for this. But I go in and look. We were starting to get our house ready to sell so I thought she might have painted something. I don’t know. Seeing I’m not noticing anything, she finally comes in and points, unable to speak, to two plastic sticks resting across a box on the counter. Honestly, I still don’t know what I’m looking at here.

Then she picks one up and hands it to me and I stare at two red stripes near the end of the stick. Betsy leaves the room, her hand over her mouth. Time stands still. It speeds forward. It races back. It stops again. I feel like I’m spinning even though I’m standing completely motionless.

“Two stripes means you’re pregnant. Two stripes … pregnant.”

We hug and smile at each other like we’ve never smiled before. I get into my uniform and race to the car and pull out of the driveway, stopping to roll down my window and laugh out loud and wave to my wife and keep laughing, and crying, and laughing, and crying, all the way to the ceremony.

Congratulations, Randy and Betsy! This is wonderful news! When are you due?

Betsy’s due in late January 2007. It’s another boy!

Can you share with readers here how you feel about going through the adoption experience twice?

Words cannot begin to describe how positively we feel about adoption. Wow. Two books we looked at are The Adoption Resource Book by Lois Gilman and Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew.

Most of all, for those interested or curious about adoption, I’d recommend talking to someone who’s done it. Also, visit a local adoption agency and talk with a counselor there. There is a ton of stuff online, of course, but the best resources are people who know the experience and the process. The fears and frustrations. And the joy and love involved.

Betsy’s and my experiences were both pretty unusual, in that we didn’t have to wait long (it can take a very long time) and we met the birth mothers and got to be there with our new babies right from birth. I haven’t looked up the stats, but I do know that most couples seeking to adopt are white, while there are a lot more non-white babies who need families and homes. So, the wait to adopt an African-American or biracial baby is often much shorter. And your odds of finding a baby are much greater. And, simply because of the great need, the cost is often even less.

Our daughter is Mexican-American, our son is African-American, I’m Scandinavian (75% Norwegian and 25% Swedish), and my wife is mostly Scandinavian with a trace of Irish. When our next son comes along, we’ll have three distinctly beautiful children.

Can you guess what our favorite bedtime song is? Kyra already sings it by heart:

“Jesus loves the little children,
all the children of the world.
Red and yellow, black and white,
they are precious in His sight.
Jesus loves the little children of the world.”

We’ve also made two additional verses (and are working on a third), which are specific to Kyra and Colby. And they’re just for them. Kyra loves to sing them all.

One Scripture I’ve come to appreciate and understand more fully is Ephesians 1:5-6: “(in love) he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will — to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.”

Thank you so much for visiting here, Randy, and for sharing with us your marvelous journey of adopting your children — and your special news that your family will soon be adding another son in January. We’ll keep you and Betsy in our prayers in the exciting weeks ahead!

Randy Mortenson will be happy to answer questions individually by email, rkmortenson at polarcomm.com.

You can find out more about him at the Landon Snow website or the Barbour website. This month, you can also read a new short story involving the Landon Snow characters in the December issue of Focus on the Family’s Clubhouse magazine! Click here to read “Christmas Lights.”

[Edit: Thanks, Barbour, for linking to this interview under News, Press, and Reviews:“November is National Adoption Month and Barbour Publishing is proud to share the story of best-selling author R.K. Morteson’s family, who have been truly blessed by adoption.”]

We went and saw the most incredible movie last night, FACING THE GIANTS. If there is ANY possible way for you to take your family to see this movie, I can’t recommend it enough. We were absolutely stunned it was playing in the big movie theater because it has a strong Christian message, and the Gospel is presented clearly throughout the movie. We can’t wait to own it on DVD so we can show it to all of our kids’ friends who haven’t seen it yet.

We hardly ever take our kids to see movies at the theater — it’s just so expensive. The last thing we saw together was Curious George, back in February! But when I was working out at Curves a few days ago, one of the staff ladies kept going on and on about it. She said, “You HAVE to take your kids to see this movie. It’s only playing one more weekend here. It’s one of the best movies I’ve ever seen.” So that’s why we went.

It’s a huge ordeal for us to go to a movie. We arranged childcare for our two younger kids, (thankfully the grandparents don’t charge us!), then we spent nearly $70 on five movie tickets, popcorn, and drinks. (See why we can’t get out to the movies much?) But now I feel good about spending the money because I read that all the profits from this movie will go to build a 40-acre youth recreational facility in Albany, Georgia — my home state.

The movie is about a Christian high school football team that keeps losing. Everything seems to be going wrong in the life of the coach. His team has had six terrible seasons, and it looks like he’s going to lose his job. His car keeps breaking down, and he and his wife have been trying to have a baby for four years. Both of them go to visit the doctor, and hear the sad news that they won’t be able to have a family. The scene when they talk about this just makes me weep.

So what does the coach do? He prays. His wife prays. He walks out into a wooded area beside his house with his Bible, and he praises God, reciting verses from the Psalms out loud. He says, “I need you, Lord. I won’t lose faith in you. I know you can do something with my life.” I have never seen or heard something like this in a movie. And our theater was packed — full of several rows of teenagers.

I won’t spoil the plot, but the whole experience will build your faith in a strong, mighty God. This would be a wonderful movie to show to a youth group — and it may even inspire a future generation of film-makers.

I read a little bit about the Kendrick brothers who made this movie. They’re both on staff with a church in Albany, Georgia, and they’ve always had a hobby of making home movies. But this one was a BIG idea, and they got financial backing from their church to make it. The budget was only $100,000 (donated by church members), and the actors were all volunteers.

Many of the extras were church members — and we stayed to watch the credits and read that food was provided by various Sunday school classes. You can read the background story here (although the site is tiny white font on black background and hard on the eyes to read).

Here’s why it has a PG rating; according to the Motion Picture Association of America, the movie needs parental guidance because it’s too “evangelistic.”

From Scripps Howard News Service:

“But the scene that caught the MPAA’s attention may have been the chat between football coach Grant Taylor, played by Alex Kendrick, and a rich brat named Matt Prader. The coach says that he needs to stop bad-mouthing his bossy father and get right with God.

The boy replies: ‘You really believe in all that honoring God and following Jesus stuff? … Well, I ain’t trying to be disrespectful, but not everybody believes in that.’

The coach replies: ‘Matt, nobody’s forcing anything on you. Following Jesus Christ is the decision that you’re going to have to make for yourself. You may not want to accept it, because it’ll change your life. You’ll never be the same.’

That kind of talk may be too blunt for some moviegoers, said Kendrick, but that’s the way real people actually talk in Christian high schools in Georgia. Sherwood Baptist isn’t going to apologize for making the kinds of movies that it wants to make.

‘Look, I have those kinds of conversations about faith all the time and I’ve seen young people make decisions that change their lives,’ he said. ‘The reason we’re making movies in the first place is that we hope they inspire people to think twice about their relationship with God.

‘So we’re going to tell the stories that we believe God wants us to tell. We have nothing to hide.'”

The new issue of Christian Women Online is hot off the press. I think the covers just keep getting more and more amazing. Can you tell editor/publisher Darlene is an artist? I’m so blessed to be part of this wonderful publication.

I hope you’ll plan to bookmark this issue and amble your way through it when you have time. There are so many great articles, far too many to read all at once. In the cover story, Darlene interviews Australian worship singer, Darlene Zschech.

My Book Buzz column this month features Barbara Cameron, the Hollywood mom who managed the acting careers of her two famous children, Kirk Cameron (“Growing Pains”) and Candace Cameron Bure (“Full House.”)

I tried to tame my exclamation points and not gush during our interview — but here I can just let loose. Wow!!!! The Camerons are an incredible family! I feel like I really got to know Barbara through reading her book, A Full House of Growing Pains. I wish every mother of grown children could write a memoir like this. She doesn’t hold anything back. She tells you all the heartache and insight she gained from raising a family in Hollywood — and how she discovered the life-changing Message of the Gospel that totally, completely transformed her life.

You can read about how a friend first encouraged Barbara to take her cute All-American kids to visit an agent and how this led to TV commercials, mini-series, movies, and the sit-coms that brought her children into everyone’s living room. It was a complete new world to me, and I loved having a front-row seat, smelling the homemade chocolate chip cookies that Barbara always brought to the set to share with everyone.

It’s hard for any mother to raise a family with good moral values, but Barbara did this while her family was being escorted to ritzy parties in limosines and flying around in private jets — and even being stalked by fans. Her two non-acting children never got jealous of their siblings, and the family stayed close all through the years of being in the constant eye of the media.

Now Candace is a beautiful mother of three and has become the newest columnist for Christian Women Online. This month in her Candid Candace column, she talks about how to keep your faith and also how to lose postpartum pounds — two topics I’m always interested in!

I found out that Kirk Cameron and his wife Chelsea have been married for 15 years and have six children. You can read his inspiring testimony in this Christianity Today article, The Rebirth of Kirk Cameron, and see how he went from being an atheist to totally committing his life to Christ. Kirk stays busy with his award-winning reality TV and radio show, The Way of the Master, and acting in the “Left Behind” movies.

Kirk and Chelsea also run a week-long retreat for seriously ill children, called Camp Firefly. They invite the entire family for an all-expense paid week at Callaway Gardens, which is in my home state. I had no idea about this camp, but what a blessing it is to these families. The camp has been in operation since 1989.

Barbara Cameron’s A Full House of Growing Pains is this month’s CWO Book Draw. You can click here to enter in the drawing. Darlene graciosly allowed the interview to continue to a Part 2, where Barbara Cameron answered my questions about her involvement with helping feed hungry children in Africa.

In a world where there are very few celebrity role models, it’s a rare blessing to discover a family who has used their worldly fame and success as a platform — all for the glory of God.

I’m curious — is trick-or-treating still popular in other parts of the world? Are y’all taking your kids around the block to knock on people’s doors tonight?

It’s waning in popularity here. It just doesn’t seem safe to let kids roam around knocking on people’s doors in costume and asking for candy. I remember we did this alone growing up — just me, my siblings, and friends. We’d come back with huge bags of candy. I remember even going inside a lady’s house where she told us to wait while she went and looked in her kitchen for some apples. It was fun — and she was nice. Now I wouldn’t want my kids doing that.

Churches in our area seem to be filling in the gaps. The new trend is to host huge “Fall Festivals” where the kids can come in costume or not. There are game booths, carnival rides, and cookouts. Our kids’ school had a fabulous petting zoo last weekend with horses, cows, sheep, goats, pigs, chickens, rabbits, and even a peacock.

Tonight, several big churches are hosting “Trunk or Treats” from their parking lot. So kids can go from car to car and get candy from people they know.

We’re continuing on with a tradition that just happened to get started a few years ago. My husband’s parents live right off the square in a historic section of town that attracts hundreds of trick-or-treaters. It’s really a safe, well-lit area, and it’s a great place to see people. We have just as much fun answering the door to pass out candy as we do walking around with the kids.

I can’t believe it, but I’m dressing up this year! My girls and I are all wearing Japanese kimonos — they’re really beautiful. I wore mine last weekend, and people stopped and bowed to me, giving me the chance to say, Konnichiwa. Hajimemashite. (Hello, nice to meet you.)

Yesterday, my three-year-old participated in his preschool costume parade — as a Storm Trooper, which he pronounces “Stoom Trooper.” He absolutely loved wearing his costume to school, and my husband even got off work a few minutes to come. While he and I were talking to a friend, we didn’t realize that our 18-month old daughter had escaped from her stroller and had joined in the parade. (It was indoors.) Oh my, she was adorable. We’ve found a hand-me-down cheerleader costume for her to wear tonight. And my oldest son, 10, has insisted on wearing a box, which he designed to look like a circuit board that lights up.

I’m not crazy about all the disgusting, scary things we see this time of year. I went to the grocery store yesterday and they had all these spooky green hands and ghoulish heads placed around the produce section. My youngest daughter looked scared and her eyes got big when some of the hands moved by motion sensors. That stuff is just plain evil to me.

But the costumes are fun. We plan on putting together some kind of play to perform at Christmas for the grandparents. It will be fun to see what we come up with that involves Japanese ladies in kimonos, a storm trooper, cheerleader, and a talking circuit board. Any ideas?

I have a friend who stays in great shape, yet she’s a busy work-at-home mom. Something clicked one day when I talked to her about her workout regimen — maybe this is how it feels when someone hears the Gospel and it finally makes sense.

She said she does three things to stay in shape:

1) She jogs three miles a day on her treadmill in 30 minutes.
2) She lines up nine 16-oz. bottles of water on her counter and drinks them throughout the day.
3) She keeps a food diary to record everything she eats if she ever needs to lose some weight.

I’ve made so many excuses about exercising — and mainly what it comes down to is that it’s VERY hard for me to get out of the house these days without kids. I can walk with a stroller outside, but I can’t run on a good, flat surface where I can maintain a steady pace and speed.

So I dusted off our treadmill and moved it near a window in the basement. I bought a cheap $10 headset, and I keep it tuned to our local Christian radio station, which plays Third Day, Nicole Nordeman, Steven Curtis Chapman, all these fun songs. I’m having a praise concert every time I get on that thing.

I can run first thing in the morning before the kids are up or at night after they’ve gone to bed. It doesn’t matter if it’s cold or dark outside — on my treadmill, I can run.

I got on last night after kissing owies, reading bedtime stories, drying and braiding little girls’ hair, then it was MY time to run. I plugged in my treadmill key, turned on the radio, and heard a well-known pastor give a sermon on his series, “Breaking Free from the Habits that Bind You.” HA! Was that a coincidence or what? I ran for 36 minutes and didn’t even realize it; his message completely captivated me.

I’ve never been a treadmill fan because of the extreme BOREDOM that sets in — but not since that day when it all clicked for me. Three miles a day. Three miles a day. If I want to find out where God is leading me next, I need to keep up this pace. Three miles a day.

If I run when it’s light outside, I look out the window for a while and see our pretty green pasture, mottled with red Georgia dirt — and then after about eight minutes, I’m bored enough to need my mind to transport me somewhere else. I’m not running on a treadmill in my basement; I’m … Mary running through the hills of southern France. Or Mary running through the suburbs of northern California. Or I’m jogging along the snow-white sandy beaches of Florida.

Today I discovered it takes exactly 12 minutes before my mind is clear. Those few minutes of running along my imaginary beach clear my mind so I can start thinking about what’s really important to me, what I want out of life, what my dreams are, what I need to be focusing on. After 13 minutes, I’m praying, God, show me what to do. Show me how to serve you. What do I need to be doing with my days?

One of my favorite verses is I Peter 4:7, which says, “Therefore, be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.” It takes a mile on a treadmill before my mind is decluttered enough to pray! When I was running the other night, I thought for a minute of all the million things I needed to be doing besides exercising. Then I heard God’s voice say to me, “You’re on the right track.” OK, Lord. I’ll keep running.

While I’m on the subject of staying focused, I recently read a book that helped make a few more things in my life crystal clear. I don’t want to review it because I read it for my own pure pleasure, but let me just tell you, if you’re in desperate need of a spiritual jump-start, get a copy of Joyce Meyer’s The Confident Woman.

This is a powerful book, so far above all the self-help JUNK that lines bookstore shelves. Joyce Meyer bases everything on Truth from scripture, and she doesn’t hold back sharing with you the pain she went through to get there. I don’t care what the critics say, her testimony is awesome. Our confidence comes from the Lord Jesus Christ, and nothing else.

One more thing Joyce Meyer says is that we women who have our hope in Christ are to be JOYFUL. We are also to be bearing much fruit in our life. If we’re not bearing fruit, then something needs to be pruned out. Something is choking the joyful fruit out of our life. Wow. I can’t get away from this thought.

It will take more than one week of 12-minute clear-minded praying to find out the things God wants me to prune from my life so I can bear more fruit. But I anxiously await His voice.

So it’s off to the treadmill I go.

Today, for the first time ever here on Mom 2 Mom Connection, we have a mother/daughter duo visiting with us. I’m thrilled to host author T. Suzanne Eller AND her mom discussing Suzie’s new book, The Mom I Want to Be.

Suzie is a mother of three grown children and lives with her husband of 26 years in Oklahoma. She’s the founder of daretobelieve ministries, author of several Christian books, and is a nationally recognized speaker to teens, parents, and women.

She’s been featured on radio shows such as At Home Live, Aspiring Women, Focus on the Family, Prime Time, and Mid-Day Connection, sharing her zest for life and relevant faith. Suzie has also published hundreds of articles in magazines such as Today’s Christian Woman, Guideposts, and Woman’s World, and she’s a family columnist for cbn.com.

Welcome, Suzie! You’ve got a new book out for women, The Mom I Want to Be. Can you tell us about it?
It’s a practical and spiritual resource for women who were raised in dysfuction or experienced a painful past, and who want to give their children greater memories than they received.

Why did you decide to write it?
I was approached by a publishing team after teaching a workshop titled “Pushing Past Your Past” at the Hearts at Home national conference for moms. I was a little unsure that this was a good topic to share at this conference, but after the workshop, women lined up and down the aisle and out the door to share their stories, and how they connected with what was taught.

I hesitated when approached because I didn’t want to reach thousands of women, and yet hurt my own mom. She’s not the same person she once was, but at the same time, does any mom want her mistakes held up to the world for review?

I was prepared to put it down, and yet my mom not only said, “yes”, but came on board with me. I asked her to write the intro to each chapter, and to share her story. I didn’t realize at the time how much more powerful that made the story, and the points in the book. As I read the completed chapters I was in awe.

How did your mom feel about your writing this book?
[Suzie’s mom, Karen Morrison, answered this question.]

At first I was very apprehensive. Then I prayed about it and thought if this will bring healing to my children and others, God will give me the courage to face whatever comes my way. Since handing out several of the books to ladies suffering from childhood hurts, I am so very thankful that I did go through with my story in the book.

I can personally tell you that your writing had a big impact on me, and I’m so glad you wrote this book together. It was so meaningful to see what both of you were experiencing at the same time, as mother and daughter, and I think this is what makes your book one of the most unique books I’ve ever read. Did any healing come about as a result of writing this book?

Yes, several things happened during the writing process. One, I realized where my love for writing came from. Mom had her first child really young and wasn’t able to finish school. She’s very smart, but this is something that bothers her. As I read the pages she sent to me, I was impressed with the depth of her writing ability. She was worried about spelling and commas, but what I saw was a woman who could communicate beautifully.

The second thing is that there were stories I had never heard. I didn’t know that my mom was molested at five years old. It certainly broadened my perspective. I saw mom as healed, but I never had seen her fully as the little girl going through her own pain as a child. That brought a much deeper sense of compassion for her, but also admiration for what has taken place in her life in the past 10 years.

What can women do if they don’t get along with their moms now because of things that happened in the past?

It depends, Heather. If a parent is still destructive (say, an abusive alcoholic), she must set boundaries that will help that relationship heal, or at least not be destructive. These aren’t rules to punish a parent, but guidelines to share your needs with a mom or dad who creates havoc in your life, your marriage, or your children’s lives.

But what if a mom has healed? Is she in “time out” forever? Is guilt a tool to make her pay for her past sins? Or are you able to begin new memories? In my family, this was a process and some are still working on it, but I felt so free the day I realized that I could love my mom for what she had become. She also became free. She knew that our relationship was a safe one, and she could be what God called her to be, rather than holding back to pay penance for my childhood.

You wrote a chapter called “The Power of Perspective.” How does that apply specifically to moms today?

When you’ve grown up with abuse, neglect, or addiction, the pain of your childhood can loom large in your life, and everything filters through that perspective.

For example, if a child embarrasses you verbally or throws a fit in Wal-Mart, the person who filters that through the past will say, “Why would you do that to me?” It becomes personal, rather than an opportunity to teach your child how to speak with respect or to handle his anger better.

This “filter” expands to other relationships. You see things through your self-image and the words spoken over you in the past. You struggle with confidence. You might struggle to forgive small infractions by friends or family.

Shifting your perspective means that you change your focus to who you are now, what you have now, and what you are becoming. That allows the past to take its rightful size in your life. It’s there, but it’s not looming over everything.

I share with women that your past is a very small part of who you are. It shaped you, yes; but it doesn’t define you or keep you from becoming all that God intended.

How would we use this book as a resource for teaching a group of women about motherhood?

I’ve created an intimate Bible study where small groups of women can work through this together. I share instructions on how to minister to people with painful pasts, and how to gain trust as friends and beautiful women working toward growth and change and healthy parenting patterns and perspectives.

Thank you so much, Suzie and Mrs. Morrison, for taking the time to share your thoughts here! I really enjoyed The Mom I Want to Be and will treasure it as I strive to become a more joyous mom.

T. Suzanne Eller may be reached at her websites, Dare to Believe and The Mom I Want to Be. She also blogs for teens along with several other Christian authors at Girls, God, and the Good Life.

A couple of weeks ago, Christianity Today magazine asked dozens of evangelical leaders what their top choices were for books that have helped shape evangelicalism. The editors compiled these nominations into a list of The Top 50 Books That Have Shaped Evangelicals.

How many books on this list have you read? I’ve only read 14 out of the 50, and to be honest, I’ve never even heard of the #1 book! Yet, apparently it had a huge impact on shaping the way we pray. It was written in the 1950s. Hmmmm … I’d like to read it someday to see why it was voted #1.

Several people wrote in to give feedback to the editors, complaining about books that were omitted. I found this interesting as well.

The big surprise for me was discovering that John and Elizabeth Sherrill ghostwrote three bestsellers. Are you ready for this? Here’s what the editors at Christianity Today say about the Sherrills:

John and Elizabeth Sherrill may be the most influential Christian authors you know nothing about. They appear three times on this list — step aside, C. S. Lewis and J. I. Packer—as co-authors of God’s Smuggler, The Cross and the Switchblade, and The Hiding Place.

Ghostwriters extraordinaire, longtime editors of Guideposts, and founders of Chosen Books (now a division of Baker Publishing), the couple also published Charles W. Colson’s Born Again. Their specialty: testimonials to the power of God’s Spirit. And, it seems, bestsellers.

How amazing is that! I’m still getting used to the idea that many Christian books I read are written by ghostwriters — who may or may not have their name on the cover of the book. Often, they don’t.

What the ghostwriter does is interview the person and then write his or her story through a first-person point of view. There’s an art to shaping a book like this. Interesting. Some writers I know refuse to do this without having their name on the book — but many do it anonymously for the money. I know several current Christian bestsellers that were ghostwritten, but I won’t spoil it for you! (You would be shocked — I was!)

I do know for a fact that Rick Warren wrote The Purpose-Driven Life! YEA! I heard his agent give a four-day seminar, and so he gave background details to how that incredible book came to be.

How many have you read? What do you think about this list?

Here’s another radio broadcast you’ve got to listen to if you can find a few minutes during your day. James Dobson is speaking today and tomorrow on Standing for the Family in a Lost Culture. Download this and listen to it while you’re folding clothes or washing dishes. It will inspire you.

He told some funny stories about his son, Ryan, and reminded me I can’t give up on my kids — even when I’m having a hard day! Those stories probably weren’t too funny when they happened — but now that Ryan’s grown, Dr. Dobson and his wife can laugh about the trips to the emergency room and all the difficulties of raising a very ACTIVE boy.

If you’ve never read James Dobson’s Bringing Up Boys and you’re a mom of boys, this is a book you’ll want to add to your collection — even if you only have time to read a paragraph every now and then. It will keep you sane, knowing what the long-term perspective is on raising a boy to become a godly young man.

Last night at church, I was waiting in the hallway outside the room where my girls were making their Operation Christmas Child boxes. My three-year-old son has entered this babbling brook phase where every single thought of his turns into a “why” question or something he must tell me. I know it won’t last forever, so I’m much more patient now than I was with my oldest.

Another mom looked exasperated with her three-year-old son who was wiggling and chattering while we waited for our sweet little girls to finish their project. Finally, she said, “Why don’t the two of you race each other down the hall?” So they did. Our two boys spent the next ten minutes alternating between running up and down the hall and hopping up and down the hall like frogs saying “Ribbit.” She turned to me and said, “I don’t know about you, but mine just wears me out. Maybe they’ll run off all this energy and go to bed easier.” HA! I agreed.

I just have to tell you that a few days ago, I got an email from a writer at Focus on the Family asking if I had any suggestions for how a mom of a 0-3 year old child can begin inspiring her child’s personal faith. Wow. That was pretty cool to be asked! She needed something right away, so I told her the first things that came to mind, then she wrote back and asked if it was OK to quote me as “Heather Ivester, mother of five and founder of Mom 2 Mom Connection, a popular blog for mothers of all ages.” Um, yeah. That’d be all right.

See, you just never know who is reading your blog! 🙂

But after I sent that, I’ve been more aware of how I try to instill faith in my young children. It really goes way beyond teaching them to say the blessing and pray before bedtime. Since I stay home with my kids, I talk to them about God all day. Really — every chance I get. You never know what’s going to stick.

One thing I try to do is catch my kids being good and tell them, “God likes it when you do that. Do you know God is probably smiling right now because you shared your toy with your sister? Do you know when you read a book to your little brother, you are making God very happy? Oh, I’m so glad you told me that you were lying because God already knew you were lying, and that makes Him so proud of you when He hears you telling the truth.”

My kids are far from perfect, but I hope I’m teaching them what’s right and wrong now, so when they’re grown they can catch themselves being good.

At least that’s the plan.

Our church is starting to collect boxes for Operation Christmas Child, sponsored by Samaritan’s Purse, an organization started by Billy Graham’s son, Franklin. On Wednesday, the RAs and GAs will be stuffing their boxes, so we’re planning on going out this week to shop for toys, arts supplies, toiletries, and other small gift items.

As I was browsing the pamphlet about it yesterday during church (before the sermon, of course), I wondered if this ministry was really all that important. I mean, do those poor children really need a bunch of American trinkets and hard candy?

Then I read that these boxes will be helpful to organizations that are already working in local ministries in those countries. As local missionaries help meet people’s spiritual needs, our little plastic shoeboxes will help draw excitement from children. That will bring more people to hear the Gospel, which can bring hope and joy to the entire family.

I’m convinced this is a worthy cause — and something easy for children to get involved in. My kids like picking out the toys and art supplies. It helps them to think beyond their own small world.

I’m oh-so-thankful for all the volunteers who donate their time and energy toward this program. You can learn more about how you can get involved at the Samaritan’s Purse website. But hurry — National Collection Week is November 13-20. That’s coming up quick. You can find out if there are any local drop-off points near you on the website.