Since I started blogging in 2005, I’ve been privileged to interview some really great people. Most of these interviews were conducted while I simultaneously typed and juggled a baby on my knee. I’ve been able to meet some of these writers in person at conferences, which is always fun.

I’ve updated the links here, so if you’re an author with a website or blog that links to one of these interviews, please update your link with my new web address. And drop me an email if you have a minute!

Claudine Aievoli, April 2007
Tracey Bateman, February 2007
Trish Berg, April 2007
Kristin Billerbeck, October 2006
Allison Bottke, August 2008 interview for Christian Women Online ezine
Barbara Cameron, November 2008 interview for Christian Women Online ezine
Colleen Coble, April 2006
Gina Conroy, May 2007
CJ Darlington, March 2010
Mary DeMuth, February 2006 (1), (2), September 2006
Jenn Doucette, February 2007
Dena Dyer, October 2006
Alyice Edrich, February 2006 (1), (2)
Suzie Eller, May 2006, October 2006
C. Hope Flinchbaugh, January 2007
Tricia Goyer, March 2007
Sheila Wray Gregoire, April 2007
Liz Curtis Higgs, January 2007 cover interview for Christian Women Online ezine
Ellie Kay, March 2007, interview for Christian Women Online ezine
Keri Wyatt Kent, April 2006
Christine Lynxwiler, April 2007
Dandi Daley Mackall, March 2007
Kathryn Mahoney, March 2006 (1), (2)
Randy Mortenson, November 2006
Kathryn Porter, January 2007
Deborah Raney, September 2006
Christy Scannell, April 2007
Donna Shepherd, May 2006 (1), (2)
Vonda Skelton, April 2006, March 2008
Susan Thacker, March 2006(1), (2)

I recently had the pleasure of interviewing writer CJ Darlington about her breakout debut novel, Thicker Than Blood. I’ve known CJ for years through various writer’s groups and comment threads, such as Terry Whalin’s The Writing Life and Gina Holmes’ Novel Journey, so holding her book in my hands for the first time was like cradling a precious newborn. Her book is absolutely gorgeous and a stunning read, which I highly recommend if you are a book collector and lover of all things literary!

The plot centers around the theft of a first-edition Hemingway, For Whom the Bell Tolls, one of my favorite novels. I hope you’ll visit CJ at her website and read the story behind the story about how she got her first book contract through Tyndale by winning a writing contest! Dreams do come true!

Welcome, CJ! Since you were homeschooled by your mother, can you tell us how she encouraged you to become such an avid reader and writer?

Mom never said one negative word to me about pursuing writing. Everything was always positive. And still is, I might add. She took the time to notice my interests and provide all the necessary tools. That’s what she believes is so important for homeschooling moms to do. It’s a parent’s job to water the dreams of their kids, not to impose their dreams on their children.

My parents never hesitated to take my sister and me to the library, and they never complained when we came home with bags and bags full of books. Mom created curriculum around our interests. She made sure we read some of the classics like The Scarlet Letter, The Old Man and the Sea, Huckleberry Finn, To Kill a Mockingbird, and the like.

Oh, those are some of my favorite books too! Anything else?

She also had us keep a journal from an early age, making sure we knew she wasn’t going to read them (she felt this was important to tell us up front). She just wanted us to be creative and write without editing. I still journal to this day.

And she made us learn how to type! Of all the things I learned homeschooling, that’s one thing I use every single day.

Your mom sounds amazing! Do you have any words of wisdom for today’s moms who want to teach their kids to love books, despite all the competing media and demands for kids’ time?

It’s one thing to tell your kids to read, it’s another to read out loud to them. By doing this, you’re practicing what you preach, and you get some great quality time with your kids. This opens up the door to discussing what you read too.

Books are doorways into countries we might never explore in real life. Through books we can travel to worlds beyond the solar system. We can learn history and how not to repeat it and discover what character traits were noteworthy in others. Through reading we learn without even realizing it.

You started writing your novel when you were 15, and you describe your long 14-year journey to publication. What would you say to a teen writer who dreams of publishing books someday? Is there anything he or she can be doing now to prepare for a life as a professional writer?

First of all, know that if you have a dream to be a writer, that dream is valid and most likely comes from God. Being a writer is a very important calling. God took the time to write His thoughts on paper. I don’t think he would have done that if there was a more powerful medium.

Read lots of different authors. Yes, write whenever you can (writers write after all), but when you’re reading you’re learning by osmosis how other authors have mastered the craft. Subconsciously you’ll pick up techniques.

Don’t give up. Determine that no matter how long it takes to reach your goals, you’re not letting go of your dream. Maybe you’ll read another author and start to wonder how you could possibly write like him or her. Or someone will say something critical about what you wrote, and the words will cut deep. That’s not the time to push the keyboard or pen away! Keep at it. Even when the words don’t seem to flow.

Then, don’t be afraid to start submitting to publications. But don’t be discouraged if the rejections come. Often an editor will reject a piece simply because they don’t have space or they’ve published something similar recently. It doesn’t mean they’re rejecting you or that your writing isn’t publishable. My first novel was rejected by almost all the major Christian publishers before it finally found its home at Tyndale House.

This all sounds like great advice! One last question: Are there any writing courses or programs you’d recommend for teens who love to write? Also, do you know of any publications that accept short articles or stories from teens that may help them build up a writing resume of clips?

The Christian Writers Guild has several courses designed especially for young writers. If you learn best through courses and programs, I highly recommend them. The staff there are amazing and supportive. Their website has all the info.

But if you’re more unstructured (like I am), it is possible to succeed as a writer by learning on your own too. There are so many great how-to books and magazines out there that can teach you everything you need to know. One of the first things I did when I was starting out was subscribe to Writers Digest and The Writer magazines. They’re also available at most libraries. Read Plot & Structure by James Scott Bell and A Novel Idea by Chilibris. They’re great books on the craft to start with, but then there are so many others as well.

A great resource for finding magazines and websites that accept articles and stories is The Christian Writers Market Guide by Sally Stuart. It’s a valuable reference tool you’ll turn to again and again. My very first short story was accepted for publication when I was 18, and it was published in a Sunday School take-home paper called Live. The take-home papers can be a great market.

Thank you so much for all of your encouragement, CJ! And to all of you aspiring writers out there, be sure to visit CJ at her other home on the web, TitleTrakk.com, where she reviews books, movies, music and other inspirational media.

I’m thrilled to be hosting a special guest today, Vonda Skelton, a fellow writer who has become a dear friend!

I’ve met Vonda a couple of times at writer conferences, and we’ve bonded since we both love children’s books. And she’s a neighbor, right next door in South Carolina! I interviewed Vonda a couple of years ago here and here about her drama script writing and her series of children’s mystery books.

Recently, I had the privilege of reading Vonda’s Skelton’s first book for women, which was amazing. It’s called Seeing Through the Lies: Unmasking the Myths Women Believe, published by Regal. If you’re looking for a refreshing and challenging book for a women’s Bible study, I really loved this one! (And it’s FUNNY too — always a plus for me.)

Vonda has stopped in today to answer a few questions for us. After the interview, if you’ll take a minute to leave a comment, you’ll be entered in a great contest with awesome prizes!

Hi Vonda. Thanks for coming back to visit! Where did you birth the idea for your book, Seeing Through the Lies? How did it come about?

This book was written out of my passion for women’s ministry. We — not just women, but all of us — are deceived by so many lies! They are woven throughout today’s culture. I wanted to help us get focused, or in some cases, refocused, on the timeless truths of God’s Word.

I knew I could reach many more women through a book than I ever could reach through my speaking ministry. So, I started with the key points from my “Celebrating Womanhood” presentation, where we look at the seasons of a woman’s life and come to the conclusion that God can use each of us, no matter our age or situation.

After several revisions and rethinking the needs of women, Seeing Through the Lies was born.

Oh, I wish I could hear your presentation! I’m sure there are many of us who wonder how God can use us in the season we’re in. What takeaway points do you hope the reader pulls from this book?

I hope that after women read my book they’ll realize that Satan works hard to make us believe his lies, but this is what God wants you to know:

* Your worth is not dependent on your beauty, your busyness, or your stuff.
* A happy marriage is one that endures.
* Motherhood is an honorable profession.
* God has the power to overcome your fear.
* You win when you lose.
* Your life won’t be perfect until you reach perfection in heaven.
* You can’t win God’s love because of your goodness, and you can’t lose His love because of your sin. And that, dear sisters, is the truth.

Wow! These are really wonderful truths. Vonda, you’re a prolific writer, mother, and grandmother. How do you deal with your other obligations (family, job, church, etc.) when it’s crunch time near writing deadlines?

Did you have to ask that question? In all honesty, this is one of my biggest struggles — balancing my time between my husband, my family, my home, my church, and my writing and speaking ministry.

The truth is, my husband, Gary, is a dream husband. As I mentioned in the book, his mother made sure he knew how to cook, clean, change diapers, and iron long before we married.

AMAZING!! I’m taking notes now of things to be sure my sons know how to do.

And I know you’re not going to believe this, but I promise it’s true: I never have to ask him to take out the trash, fix the car, or pay the bills. (And no–you CAN’T have him! He’s MINE!) So on those days when he comes home from work at 6:30 and there’s no dinner on the stove and I’m still at the computer in my pajamas, he doesn’t say a word. He simply goes to the fridge, pulls out the sandwich makings and asks if I’ve eaten anything that day.

Can you tell I tend to get tunnel vision when it comes to crunch time? Yes, God has to rein me in over and over. I’m kinda like Paul, “I don’t know why I do the things I do!” (Now, if somebody out there could just tell me how to go to the potty without having to actually leave the computer — just think how much more I could accomplish in a day!)

You are SO funny, Vonda! That’s why you had me laughing out loud at your refreshing honesty in your book. I feel the same way about wanting desperately to find time to write, but needing to cook, do laundry, and clean my house — all at the same time.

Here’s another question for you — What’s your favorite worship song, and why?

One of my favorite songs is “Majesty” written by members of Delirious. The line that says, “Your grace has found me just as I am — empty-handed but alive in Your hand” just gets to me.

I can see myself standing before Holy God, falling to my knees … empty-handed, with nothing to offer Him. And yet, He takes me just as I am — selfish, self-centered, and proud — and cleans me up to be used by Him.

I can’t wait to get to heaven, ’cause I know that when I belt out the songs there, it will be beautiful! No off-key notes, no frightened, trembling voice — it’ll be loud and clear and powerful! And Jesus will be there, smiling at me. Yep. I can see it now. I’m the lead singer and Hillsong is backing me up. And Jesus is smiling real big.

As we say here in the South, it just don’t get no better than that!

Well said! Now since many of us here are trying to balance motherhood with a writing life, what kind of food or drink do you crave the most when you have writer’s stress?

Oh, a banana split always works, as long as it’s a real one. That means chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice cream, real fruit, and wet nuts, with whipped cream on top. And anything chocolate, of course. But then you have to balance it with salt, right?

Sounds delicious. I think I could use a banana split right now! Can you share something with us about what God has been teaching you lately?

He’s teaching me that I need to trust Him more. I recently had so many things going on that I couldn’t prepare for three events as thoroughly as I usually do.

I found myself feeling vulnerable, weak, and needy. Not that I don’t ask for His help every time I speak, but this was different. I was crying out to God, begging Him to fill me with His words, His message.

And you know what? Those three events were the most powerful, most amazing events I’ve ever had! Instead of working from a well-defined plan, I spoke the words God placed in my heart and mind. As always, I had been praying God would use the week’s events to change hearts … and He did. He changed mine.

I learned to relinquish my agenda and plans to His; to trust Him in a way I hadn’t truly trusted Him before. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

That week, God’s power was made perfect through my weakness. I never want to work in my strength again.

It sounds like your speaking ministry is helping the Lord reach thousands of women, as well as YOU! What are some of the lies or myths women tend to believe? And what are the best ways for women to see through the lies and unmask the myths, in order to live the lives God would have for them?

You mean, besides the one that says we have to be a size 2 and perpetually 23 years old?

HA! YES!! What about us real women who haven’t been a size 2 since we were in, say, junior high?

Besides the lies we’re most familiar with — like our worth is based on our beauty, our busyness, or our stuff — we look at nine areas of deceit women tend to struggle with, like the lies inadvertently promoted by the Christian community.

How many times have we been told, “Just believe God and everything will be wonderful?” Or “If you have enough faith, you won’t be sick.” (The truth is, Jesus tells us we will have trouble in this world.)

Or what about the lie that says we’ll get married and live happily ever after every day? The only way we can unmask the myths and find the truth is to go to God’s Word. Read His instruction. Take to heart the Bible stories of people who lived through similar experiences and then apply the principles to our own lives.

What are the effects of women being sucked in to the lies? And what are the benefits of overcoming this temptation to believe what the world and the enemy would want women to believe?

Regardless of where I go, I find that women are disappointed. We’re disappointed in ourselves, in our marriages, in our lives in general. The problem is, we’re trying to reach some impossible dream the world sets for us.

Living in truth frees us to be what God uniquely created us to be. He wants us to live the abundant life. But we can’t do that as long as we’re falling for the lies.

I like how you utilize humor in your writings. What is your philosophy about integrating humorous thoughts into writings that have more serious subjects?

Some people believe that Christian women speakers have somehow “arrived.” Ha! All you have to do is spend a day at my house and you’ll see that’s one of the biggest lies of all!

Let’s face it, we’re all in the same boat. We’re all struggling along this path called the Christian life. When we laugh at ourselves, we level the playing field and see that we’re not alone. That in itself removes a mask. Then we can move ahead to the truth God has for us.

You give great discussion questions at the end of the book that really helps readers assimilate what they have read. Do you have some ideas or suggestions for how churches and other groups can use this book in a group study? How would a group dynamic enhance individual growth?

For a long time, I compared myself to women at church … and always found myself lacking. But when we come together and honestly confess our hardships and celebrate our successes, we encourage each other in the struggle. Isn’t it great to have a team of prayer partners who will intercede on our behalf throughout the week?

What strength! What love! Oh, just imagine what we can be for Christ when we take off the masks and become real! By completing either one or two chapters a week, the study can be used as a 6 or 12 week study.

Vonda, this was a fantastic interview! Thank you so much for sharing your heart here and through your book. You’ve shared such wisdom with us all.

And now you — my wonderful readers here — have the opportunity to be placed in a drawing for a free gift selected just for you by Vonda. This is a GREAT prize!

If you can take a moment and leave a comment, you’ll be included in a drawing, which will be held on April 2, 2008. The winner will receive:

* Designer Gift Box (looks like a piece of luggage with the words “Faith, Family, Friends” on the exterior).
* One copy each of three books by the author: Seeing Through the Lies: Unmasking the Myths Women Believe, Bitsy and the Mystery at Amelia Island, Bitsy and the Mystery at Tybee Island.
* A stretchy bracelet with Sterling Silver Beads, Gold Swarovski Pearls, Turquoise and Blue Zircon Swarovski Crystals and Sterling Silver Masquerade Mask Charm.
* Bookmark custom-made with Sterling Silver Beads, Gold Swarovski Pearls, Turquoise, Blue Zircon and Clear Swarovski Crystals and Sterling Silver Masquerade Mask Charm on a 4.75 inch Silver Plated Bookmark.
* Gold Tri-fold picture frame.
* Pewter-colored oval picture frame.
* Jeweled decorated cross.
* Peanut caramel clusters.
* Caramel Truffles.
* Mini-Yankee Candle.
* Three-pack sample tea bags.
* Sample Columbian Supremo Coffee.
* Oh My! Itty Bitty Chai Packet.

Don’t those prizes sound like fun! And they’d also make great gifts for Mother’s Day, which will be here before you know it. Thanks, y’all!

With Mother’s Day coming soon, I want to highlight some special moms who reach out to encourage those of us deep in the trenches.

Gina Conroy is an author and mom of four who has a heart for using her gift of writing to build up her peers. According to her website, Gina grew up in a New York Italian family where she says “there was never a lack of drama, love and interesting dialogue.”

At the age of 15, she went to a Wayne Cochran retreat and gave her life to the Lord. She graduated with honor from Oral Roberts University with a degree in Communication Arts. Gina is founder of Writer…Interrupted and writes about her experiences trying to balance it all at Portrait of a Writer…Interrupted. She’s the co-author of Anytime Prayers for Everyday Moms and has also contributed to Reach for Your Dreams Graduate.

Welcome, Gina! Why do you feel it’s important for mothers to pray?

Believe it or not, praying is not an easy thing for me to do. I’m not talking about the quick prayers we moms mutter consistently under our breaths every day. I’m talking about the more concentrated and thoughtful prayers, specific to each child. I’ve always known it’s important to do, but knowing and doing are two different things.

When I wrote Anytime Prayers for Everyday Moms, God met a need in my own life through my own prayers. The topics I was assigned to write about were exactly what I was going through. My prayers flowed naturally from me and ministered to me.

Mothers know their children better than anyone else except God. We know their weaknesses, struggles and strengths. We have a built-in “worry mechanism” that father’s don’t have. We worry, so we pray, and that’s a good thing.

Prayer brings peace and takes care of things in the spiritual realm. Prayer can also change the course of our children’s lives.

Recently I adapted a new rule into my parenting: “Pray before Punishment.” Though I fail daily at my own rule and I’m still trying to break bad habits, it just makes perfect sense. You can’t argue your child into doing right, but you can pray him into it.

Do you have any tips for those of us who need help learning how to pray more effectively?

I’m still learning how to do this. In fact, I recently purchased The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian so I can pray more effectively for my children. She offers meaty chapters on why you should pray with comprehensive prayers at the end.

I have that book on my bookshelf — and I love it!

These books are wonderful, but sometimes you need a quick prayer to get you through the moment. That’s when I pick up Anytime Prayers for Everyday Moms and other books like it. I keep one in my bathroom near the kitchen where I homeschool. Then when I’m overwhelmed and need a quick prayer to get me through, I know where to find it. The well- thought-out categories in the table of contents make it easy to find the right prayer.

These prayer books are so helpful because the prayers are written out for you, so when you’re at a loss for words, all you have to do is read them. God doesn’t care if they’re your words or not; if you’re praying them, and they’re from your heart He listens!

What types of prayers are included in your book?

All my prayers start out with a problem, and end in hope.

Some of the prayer I worked on are:

When I’ve Experienced Failure as a Mother
When I need Guidance in Regards to My Child
When I need Hope, Peace, Patience
When I’m too Ambitious Regarding my Child
When I’ve Become critical and Judgmental Towards My Child

What mother couldn’t benefit from those?

There are over 100 prayers of praise, supplication, confession, and intercession to choose from. And every prayer has several scriptures to encourage moms.

One of my favorites starts off like this…

Dear Lord,

It happened again. I told myself it wouldn’t, but it did. I feel like such a failure as if I’ll never be the kind of mother my children deserve. Why can’t I get it right? Why do my children have to suffer for my shortcomings?

Then it ends with a prayer of hope…

Lord, encourage my soul and help me overcome the doubts and self-criticism that have crept into my life. My failure as a parent is draining me of energy. Recharge me with Your divine strength….

What did you learn about prayer while writing your book?

I learned that prayer is easy when it comes from your heart or out of a specific need. Prayer doesn’t have to be formal; just raw and real.

God wants us to pour out our heart to Him. That’s all prayer is. I just need to remember that when condemnation starts to rise within me because I don’t pray enough or the “right way.”

Prayer is not just an act; it’s a way of life.

Wow — that’s so true, Gina. Are there any scriptures that stand out to you on showing us how to pray?

“Pray without ceasing.” To me this means having a prayer relationship and not just a prayer time. Before I moved to the Bible Belt, I communed with God in prayer all day long.

Then I “learned” how to pray. That it was supposed to be done early in the morning and for so many minutes or hours. I failed miserably at this kind of prayer.

I’m just now getting back to the way I used to pray, and it’s very freeing.

That’s wonderful, Gina! Thank you so much for visiting here and for sharing with us about the power of a mother’s prayers. I know I couldn’t live without my active prayer life!

You can read more about Gina at her fabulous website, which is a springboard to many of the writing ventures she is involved in.

Christy Scannell is visiting with us today to share about a topic I hadn’t given much thought to until now: the stressful role of being married to a pastor.

Although Christy isn’t a pastor’s wife, she and fellow author, Ginger Kolbaba, researched this topic extensively while writing their first novel together, Desperate Pastors’ Wives.

Christy is associate editor of The San Diego Metropolitan, a monthly business magazine, and The North Park News, a quaint community newspaper. She’s also a freelance editor and a featured columnist for the new magazine, Catholic Couples. She mentors for the Christian Writers Guild and is a staff member of The Christian Communicator, among many other positions that keep her busy traveling around the country!

Hi Christy, and welcome! Can you tell us why you decided to write a novel focusing on the role of pastors’ wives?

There is no other role in our society that has the same kinds of pressures a pastor’s wife (PW) has. When a pastor interviews with a church, the PW is often brought in during the process.

Sometimes that is a friendly meet-and-greet kind of experience, but other times it is a grueling “what do you bring to the table” kind of interaction.

And it only gets worse from there at some churches — PWs are asked to lead every ministry imaginable, and meanwhile they are critiqued on everything, from how they dress to how their children behave to whether their chicken casserole is up to par. (Note that I said “some” churches — treatment of PWs obviously varies from church to church, and many are wonderfully loving to their pastor families.)

Are you or your co-author, Ginger Kolbaba, personally familiar with the role of being a pastor’s wife?

Neither of us is married to a pastor, but Ginger’s dad is a pastor so she was raised in a pastor’s home. Over the years, though, we’ve known many PWs through our work in Christian publishing and our attendance at various churches.

How did you go about researching your novel? Did you interview any pastors’ wives?

Yes, we talked to a lot of PWs personally and used some of their stories. We also drew from stories we’d heard in the past. And we read some PW websites where PWs post their stories anonymously. We didn’t use any of the stories we read on the websites, but reading them helped us know our characters were in line with what many PWs experience.

Wow. I had no idea that PWs have their own websites. Your book has really made me think more about the difficult role of being a pastor’s wife. Can you give us any specific examples of why these women might feel “desperate” at times?

There is no other role like the PW. The only role I can liken it to is perhaps the First Lady of the president or a governor’s wife. But although First Ladies are critiqued for what they do and how they look, it is not through a lens that is based in religion.

So while we might look at a First Lady and say she isn’t supportive of her husband, when we do that to our pastor’s wife, we are not only saying she is unsupportive, we are implying that she is somehow not fulfilling her role as a Christian. And that distinction gives the PWs’ hurts and sorrows much more impact than a First Lady’s.

That does sound like it can lead to feelings of desperation.

Some of what PWs experience is brought on by churches with extraordinary expectations, or churches that don’t recognize a PW is doing the best she can. Other bad situations for PWs arise from certain church members who, while perhaps well meaning, make a PW feel she is not living up to some unwritten standards.

According to one study, 80 percent of PWs feel left out and underappreciated by their churches! Another problem is pastor-husbands who are not supportive of their wives, many because they are under so much stress themselves from church responsibilities.

In another survey, the majority of PWs said that the most destructive event that has occurred in their marriage and family was the day they entered the ministry. Fifty percent of pastors’ marriages end in divorce.

I had no idea! What are some ways we, as church members, can reach out to encourage our pastor’s wife?

There are two levels: small and large. At the small level, simply telling a PW she is loved or appreciated can make a world of difference. Give her a compliment. Drop her a card. Take her a plate of cookies or a bottle of bubble bath. Offer to take her kids to the park for an hour so she can relax.

On the larger level, churches need to build stress-relieving benefits into their pastors’ compensation packages. Ninety percent of pastors work more than 46 hours per week and rarely take vacations.

Churches should help their pastors plan for two or three vacations per year by providing pulpit supply, paid time off, and even a paid location. Also, at least once a year, the church should pay for the pastor and his wife to go on a retreat, either on their own or at a pastoral retreat center, where they can relax and renew.

Finally, every church should provide their pastor with a list of counselors he can contact in confidence should he or his family need assistance (there are many pastoral counseling centers where pastor families can receive help without their churches knowing).

These are great ideas, Christy. Can you tell us how you and Ginger Kolbaba got started writing a novel series together?

Ginger and I were born exactly ten months apart (Feb. 28 and Dec. 28). We were both “only” children who were raised in Akron, Ohio. We grew up in the same small church denomination, although we did not attend the same church (Ginger’s dad was the pastor at her church).

Then we both attended and graduated from the same, small Christian college. She was a year behind me, and we knew “of” each other because she was a theater standout and I was editor of the college newspaper. But with all of that in common, we were not even acquaintances.

Fast forward to around 1999. Ginger was working for a Christian magazine, and I was working for a Christian book publisher. We were both on staff at the Florida Christian Writers conference, and when we saw each other we did the “aren’t you…” questioning and found we were indeed those campus co-eds from the late 80s. During that conference, we enjoyed finally getting acquainted and reminiscing about our college years. As we parted, we exchanged contact info.

Well, as it turns out there were many more of those Christian writers’ conferences in our future, because that’s where editors go to find writers to edit. At most of the conferences, the staff has to share rooms due to tight quarters, so Ginger and I chose to pre-select each other as roomies. Over the next few years, we grew to be great friends during our little junkets.

In 2005, we were back in Florida for that same conference where we originally met. By that time, we had started coming into the conference towns early so we could have dinner and catch up before our duties began. It was at this dinner in Tampa that we started talking about writing a book together.

Neither of us really remembers how the topic of pastors’ wives came up, except that we knew we needed to write about something that hadn’t been done a million times. First we tossed around a non-fiction treatment, but then we decided fiction might be more fun (neither of us had written it before) and allow us liberties that non-fiction wouldn’t.

The title — Desperate Pastors’ Wives — was just a natural for what we were proposing. I don’t know which of us came up with it, but we knew right away that it would be our marketing tool.

At the conference, we met with an agent who liked our idea and said to mail him the proposal. Encouraged, we stayed up every night of that conference outlining our characters and plot (I apologize to whomever was rooming next to us for all the giggling!). We also devised a way to split up the writing.

When we returned to our respective homes (she in Chicago and me in Southern Cal), we emailed and phoned until we had the book figured out. Excited, we mailed our proposal to the agent. He was thankfully quick to get back to us.

Thanks, but no thanks, he said.

Oh no! I bet that was a disappointment after all of your hard work!

We were crumpled but not crushed. We knew we had a good idea — we just needed someone to help us finesse it a bit.

That same week, Ginger was having lunch with a fiction editor friend, and Ginger mentioned our floundering proposal. The editor loved the idea and said she would take a look at it and let us know how we might “fix” it. She also said Howard Books, a publisher for whom she freelanced, was looking for a new fiction series, and they might be interested in ours.

She did, we did, and they were. Within weeks, we had a contract not only for one book, but for the three-book series we proposed. We were floored that a publisher was not only taking a chance on unpublished fiction authors, but agreeing to three books.

A few months later, Howard was bought by Simon & Schuster, so we lucked into the extra panache of publishing an S&S book.

What kind of an impact do you hope your novel will have on readers?

First of all, I hope it lets PWs know that they are appreciated and understood. We’ve already received e-mails from some thanking us for writing about them (or what they perceived to “be” them!) so I am confident that ministry is already taking place.

Second, I hope churchgoers realize how difficult it is for PWs to juggle church responsibilities and private life. Perhaps more people will approach their PWs with compassion after they read the book.

Third, I hope readers, regardless of church affiliation, come away with a feeling of sisterhood. No matter what kinds of lives we women lead, we do face many of the same trials. It helps to support each other.

There are two more novels in the series — will these be coming out soon?

The second book, A Matter of Wife and Death, will be out in March 2008. We are really excited about this book because it allowed us to go further in-depth with the characters. And we took the big leap of killing off one of them! A third book will follow, probably in March 2009.

Thanks so much for visiting here! I’ve learned a ton from this interview, and I’m going to send my pastor’s wife a card this week and tell her how much we appreciate her. Your book makes me realize how stressful her role can be.

Thank you for this opportunity!

You can learn more about Desperate Pastors’ Wives co-authors Christy Scannell and Ginger Kolbaba through visiting their websites. And look for their novel out in stores now or check it out here on Amazon.

Author and speaker Trish Berg is here today to show us how to simplify our mealtime routines. She has a passion for encouraging families to get back to the dinner table, which she shares about in her new book, The Great American Supper Swap.

Trish is a mom of four who lives on a 200-acre beef cattle farm in the heart of Ohio, just north of Amish country. She’s an avid reader, scrapbooker (when she finds time!), and has been a MOPS mom for over a decade.

Her syndicated weekly column runs in The Daily Record Ohio newspaper and Christian-mommies.com, as well as several regional parenting magazines. And she also teaches part-time at a community college! Trish is one busy mom, and I’m so glad she’s made time to stop in for a visit.

Trish, welcome to Mom 2 Mom Connection! Can you tell us how you got started supper swapping?

Almost five years ago, I was struggling with my daily to-do list, like most moms, and running myself ragged in the process of trying to get dinner on the table.

One of my girlfriends, Carla, had heard of supper swapping, and asked me if I wanted to give it a try. I figured I had nothing to lose except that “4:30 and nothing’s in the oven” panic.

I knew dinner was important to my kids; I just didn’t know how to make it happen. So I gave it a try with three girlfriends and was amazed at how it blessed my life.

I didn’t set out to write a book. I simply want to simplify my family supper. But when I discovered the simplicity and adaptability of supper swapping, I knew I needed to share this with other moms who could be blessed by it like I was.

Why do you think this idea of swapping meals is helpful for busy moms?

Today’s research shows that only 50% of American families eat dinner together regularly. That is an amazing loss of family time, time to communicate and connect with each other.

Even when families are eating together, 34% of those meals are fast food or take-out. That is so unhealthy, with added fat, sodium, and cholesterol; not to mention how expensive it is.

Let’s face facts — moms everywhere need help to re-claim dinner. I think most moms would easily agree that the family supper is important; they just don’t know how to make it happen.

When a mom begins to swap suppers, how is her life impacted?

Supper swapping is ideal for busy moms not only because it simplifies dinner, but it also reduces stress and adds deeper friendships to their lives at the same time.

Supper swapping:

* Cuts cooking time 80%
* Saves families up to $4,000 a year
* Reduces a mom’s stress
* Helps families to eat healthier
* Creates a greater sense of community
* Adds deeper friendships to your life

If we wanted to start our own supper swapping group, what steps would we need to take?

I always tell moms to start simple. Ask one girlfriend or neighbor to begin swapping supper two days a week. See how it goes. You can always add another mom to your group down the road.

In other words, don’t stress about getting four friends to swap with to cover the whole workweek. Don’t put off trying it because you can’t get that many. Just start with who you have and see where God leads you.

Here’s how you can get started:

* Get Organized — Ask a few close neighbors or friends to form a supper swapping group. Use a 3 month trial period to see how it goes.

* Plan Meal Calendars — Plan meals for three months and mark who is bringing what meal on what days and times. (You can print free calendars at my website.)

* Be Honest — Be honest and up front about food likes, dislikes, and even possible food allergies to avoid problems down the road.

* Have a Back-up Plan — Try to have a back-up plan for meal delivery if you can’t be home to receive the meal when it is delivered.

* Use Recipes That Work — Choose recipes to start with that are your family favorites.

* Cash in at the Check-Out — Buy in bulk and plan your grocery trips to save money.

* Pan-Damonium — Either buy identical 9×13 glass baking pans with blue snap on lids or use disposable pans to swap meals in to save chaos.

* Enjoy the Ride — Relax and enjoy the ride. Remember to cherish the friendship above the swapping group when someone chooses to leave.

What do we have in store for us if we pick up a copy of your book?

The Great American Supper Swap has so much packed between the pages.

Of course, I share some funny and touching stories about my own supper swapping experiences. Like the time Carla spilled a gallon of Taco Soup in her minivan, (and how to avoid that yourself!).

Or how my supper swapping girlfriends fed my family during the weeks when my newborn was in the hospital with RSV.

There are also tips in each chapter like how to get started, cash in at the check out and save up to $4,000 by supper swapping, and advice to help moms along the way.

There are also practical things like a pan formula so you know how many new pans to buy depending on how many moms are in your group. It’s a lot less expensive than moms think!

But supper swapping is also about family and friendship. At the end of each chapter there is a Potluck Activity, a fun game to play with your girlfriends.

And there is also a chapter with kid-friendly, fun mealtime prayers you can say or sing at the dinner table.

And, of course, our BEST supper swapping recipes are included to help you get started.

Do you have a favorite recipe?

Oh, wow. That’s a tough question. I love Teri’s Autumn Soup, Carla’s Mandarin Salad, and yum, Grape Delight for dessert. Sorry, that was more than one!

Thanks so much, Trish. You’ve given us so many great ideas! Do you have a last bit of advice for us?

Though I have been a supper swap mom myself for almost five years and LOVE supper swapping, my passion is to get families back to the dinner table. Supper swapping is just one great way to do that.

Each family needs to find what works for them, whether it’s once-a-month cooking, buying meals from Dream Dinners, or simply eating Mac & Cheese. The food is secondary to the importance of gathering around the dinner table as a family.

Each and every mom out there needs to know that your family dinner is vital to your kid’s success for their lifetime.

Studies have shown that children who eat dinner with their family on a regular basis are 60% less likely to smoke cigarettes, 50% less likely to use drugs, and 66% less likely to drink alcohol.

So I guess my advice would be to find a way that works for your family and get back to the dinner table however you can.

I hope and pray that The Great American Supper Swap does help families gather around their dinner tables again. That’s my biggest prayer for this book.

Trish Berg offers a bounty of goodies at her website, TrishBerg.com, where you can read some of her articles, blog posts, and sign up for her free “Trish’s Tip of the Week” newsletter that is packed with fun ideas and recipes for busy moms. You can also read a great article by Trish in Today’s Christian Woman

P.S. If you leave a comment here by Friday at 5 pm, you’ll be entered into a random drawing to win a FREE copy of The Great American Supper Swap, mailed to you by Trish!

You’re in for a treat today. I’m so excited to have Claudine Aievoli as our guest. Claudine is a precious mother of two who makes her home in Long Island, New York.

We actually met in person several months ago at the CLASS conference at the Sandy Cove retreat center.

Claudine became my buddy, my sister in Christ, and I think her testimony is one of the most powerful I’ve ever heard.

She’s a dynamic speaker and has also written a program that she’s teaching to women. She has such a heart for encouragement!

Hi Claudine. Welcome to Mom 2 Mom Connection.

Hi, Heather. Thank you for inviting me.

You’ve developed a program for women, called C.O.N.F.I.D.E.N.C.E. Can you tell us about your course?

Absolutely. When I read or listen to someone who speaks on a certain subject, I often think – what many might think — and that is, “What makes them able to speak about this topic…?”

I believe God has given me the grace and the ability to undertake talking to women about healthy, Godly confidence because I myself have experienced extremely high levels of pride and extremely low levels of inferiority, and neither path was a place for a confident woman of God.

I designed the ten-letter acronym C.O.N.F.I.D.E.N.C.E. into a class to instill a healthy, Godly esteem to women. Each letter represents tangible steps / ideas / prayers and courses of Biblical action that are practical and possible for women so they can see themselves as ‘more than conquerors’ with Christ.

The course is both instructional and interactive, making each class special and personal to its participants and to me — I am privileged for each opportunity to share God’s love with them.

How did you get started teaching your program?

I started this course after months of speaking with women and discussing the pressure we feel to be perfect. The teacher and social worker in me started to take notes of women’s stories and concerns, and I’d record them in my journal.

The pages spoke of the dichotomy between worldly inadequacies and what God says in the Amplified version of Hebrews 10:22 about “leaning our entire personalities on Him in absolute trust and confidence in:

*his goodness
*his wisdom and
*his power” (adapted from Hebrews 10:22 Amp).

God has also allowed me to experience the spectrum of ‘esteem,’ which I break down into three categories in the first class in order for each participant to determine where they currently are and where we aim to be:

1 Pride
2 Low Self-Esteem
3 Healthy, Godly Confidence. The ultimate goal is to live a balanced, confident life in Christ based on the scriptures to love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your strength; and to love your neighbor as you love yourself.

And then there are three categories we repeat out loud often. A confident woman knows:

1 …she is loved by God unconditionally.
2 …she has strengths and weaknesses; she deals with her weaknesses and focuses on her strengths.
3 …is born to win because she has God as her Source.

Do you teach this yourself? Where?

Yes, I do teach this course myself; and I also invite Christian friends to come and share their ‘stories’ at specific points in the course to inspire the participants. I have no specific location where I teach, per se, though it’s all in Long Island, NY currently.

I go where the Lord leads me through word-of-mouth and very interesting connections. I once facilitated the course as part of a church exercise group (where I participated in aerobics with the women and then got up and taught (sweat and all)!

Claudine, you sound like such a bundle of energy!

I am currently teaching the course to teen mothers at a residential home that cares for them and their babies while the young moms go to school and obtain their G.E.D. and vocational training. I am learning so much from these women who chose life for their babies.

Why did you decide to develop this program?

I decided to develop this program for many reasons; the main reason being because I wanted to help women see themselves as Christ sees them — “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14).

I wanted to effectively communicate to them how the world’s air-brushed definition of what a woman should be is full of failure, but God’s way of life is full of freedom!

That’s definitely a message today’s women need to hear! Did you ever go through a time in your life where you really needed God’s help in gaining confidence?

Oh, yes. I went from years of believing ‘I’m all that’…to living a desperate life with a motto of ‘I am worth nothing,’ after suffering a significant amount of losses that brought me to my knees.

It began with carpal tunnel surgery to my hand that was not successful (hence, I lost my prestigious career as a court reporter). I had two breast tumors removed. And then my polycystic ovarian disease led me down the path of infertility.

One day my aunt called during the midst of my childlessness to say she found a video of me when I was five. “What did I do in the video?” I asked. She said, “I asked you on video what you wanted to be when you grew up. You answered emphatically, ‘A mommy.’”

Oh, that is so sweet.

Everyone knew my deep desire to be a mommy — though I didn’t know this desire began at age five! I was supposed to be a mommy after a few years of marriage! It was supposed to happen for me when I wanted a baby, in my way, in my timing!

I was devastated being childless, and each month was another loss. I was so depressed; eventually I wouldn’t leave my house. My husband said he’d be happy still, just the two of us, but like Hannah in the Bible, the desire of my heart was not being fulfilled.

This depression went on for months, and I lost my desire to live. I wanted to die. I thought about ways to end my pain. So yes, yes, yes, I really needed God’s help in gaining the confidence He wanted me to have. But first I had to understand that God loved me unconditionally.

How did you get through this difficult time?

One dreary winter day, my husband had had it with me not getting out of bed. As he was leaving for work, he threw the T.V. remote at the bed saying, “If you’re not going to get out of the bed, at least watch the blankety-blank T.V.” He turned on the T.V. and left for work.

I watched him leave from our bedroom window. His head was hung down — (my depression was a disease and its effects were becoming contagious). Anyway, I looked at the T.V. and there was a woman I’d never heard of before, a preacher named Joyce Meyer, pointing her finger at the T.V. saying, “Jesus can heal you everywhere you hurt.”

I knew this but FORGOT it as I wallowed in my self-pity. I took a shower and removed all my makeup. I sat in front of the mirror as Joyce Meyer suggested and said one time for each year of my age, “God loves me.” I was in tears and on my knees by the time I got to 2. I made a promise to God to love Him no matter what happens.

And today, I know that I know that I know when I look at our two miracle children that Jesus does heal us everywhere we hurt. “We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair; persecuted but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed….” (Adapted from 2 Corinthians 4:8).

Your testimony is so powerful, Claudine. Didn’t you end up becoming a guest on Joyce Meyer’s TV show?

Yes! I was privileged to meet Joyce Meyer on her T.V. program “Enjoying Everyday Life” when I was a guest for her September 6th, 2007 show called “The Confident Woman.” I believe if you visit her website, you can view the episode online.

How did these experiences lead to your new level of confidence in Christ?

Allow me to answer your question with a little background, please. Though I accepted Jesus in my heart at the young age of eight, the revelation of living a confident, Godly life did not occur until I went through infertility because for so long I was able to do so much on my own and have it work out great — God being just an added bonus for mealtime prayers and infrequent Sunday church.

I was homecoming queen in high school; I was popular, and I had a lot of friends. I went to business school and became a successful court reporter.

I had a new car, new clothes, expensive makeup and haircuts, spent a lot of time eating out, shopping, and thinking about myself. None of these areas in particular are wrong, but grouped together as a life-style without serving God or caring for others left me in a web of self-centeredness.

Then when I became depressed in a roller coaster of health crises and infertility, it was an eye-opener to me to read Jesus’ words, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace, but in the world YOU WILL have troubles, trials, tribulations…but be of good cheer; be certain, CONFIDENT, undaunted because I have overcome the world and deprived it of any means of harming you” (adapted from John 16:33 Amp.). Amen and Amen to the Glory of God.

God did NOT promise us easy, but He does promise to be there with us every step of the way … guiding us, directing us to live a purpose-full life.

This is where our confidence gets its roots and where teaching the program repeatedly helps my own confidence:

• We are not alone.
• Our Guide is all-powerful.
• And we are not here by accident. We did not come from webbed-foot ancestors to wander the earth defeated. We were born with a purpose, for a purpose and paid for with a great price.

When we understand that God loves us no matter what we look like, no matter when we mess up, and that He has a plan for our life, ‘a plan of good and not for evil, to give me a future and a hope…” (Jer. 29:11), our confidence IN HIM grows and then we’re able to step out in life with more assuredness.

Let me repeat: Step 1 is our confidence is based in Christ — and this gives us the assuredness to do Step 2, which is for us to actively do what it is God is leading us to do. It’s a two-fold process and the order must never change — keep God first!

With Jesus as our foundation, we are strong. We are putting our faith in Him … not in ourselves, or our clothes, or jobs, or looks, or cash, or the world or people.

God is not a crutch — He’s an anchor! Unlike clothes, jobs, looks, cash, or people which are all subject to change, God never changes … He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Wow. You said it, girl! What do you hope to accomplish through teaching this program to women?

My prayer is that God would make me a vessel He can use to bring about change in our country and in our world.

As for now, I am privileged to have some women from my classes seek me out, ask me to pray for them, call me, and keep in touch with me to tell me they have had the confidence to “take a new job” or “complete their G.E.D.”

Some women have asked to take the course again. They say repetition helps them ‘get it’ better. I can relate to this. Just because something passes through my brain once, it’s not enough to settle into that ‘grey’ matter and become a way of life unless I hear it and practice it again and again.

I am privileged to be a vessel God is using today — especially considering how insecure I was just a few years ago! Like a gardener, I continue planting seeds and making sure my life is right with God first — balancing humility with confidence! I confidently hope for more opportunities and harvests to be cultivated.

Do you have any spiritual mentors in your life? Who has influenced you most to grow in your walk with Christ?

Absolutely! I was Catholic until we moved from Brooklyn to Long Island at the age of eight when my born-again Aunt Doreen and Uncle Eddie introduced me to HOW to have a personal relationship with Jesus.

Through my latency years, our houses were connected by our backyards. I had immediate Christian support and guidance less than 100 footsteps away.

When they moved out of state in my teen years they stayed just as connected and prayed with and for me even more. How important it is for us to have such people in our lives!

Yes, you are so blessed to have an aunt and uncle who reached out to you and made such a difference in your life.

Years later, they still send me Christian books and encouraging letters and they are also there for accountability. To be told in Christian love when you’re being stubborn and how to work on your weaknesses is just as important as hearing, ‘we’re proud of you.’

I am type-A, and I’m Sicilian, and I’m a melancholy-choleric personality; hence, I need all the prayers and accountability a person can get!

You come across as a bubbly dynamo in person — but now I can see, underneath, you’ve got a contemplative, artistic side as well.

I’m so thankful for my awesome Christian friends and sister Michelle who pray with me and study the Bible with me. I have a Bible-based pastor and church. I have loving parents and though they haven’t gone to church since 1992 when a former church hurt them deeply, I learn respect and hospitality and receive support from them.

My greatest supporter is my husband, and his encouragement and help (from computer print-outs to sharing responsibilities) is a gift from God and a sure sign to continue.

I am being mentored by some knowledgeable and powerful leaders from Concerned Women for America where I’ve been approved as a prayer chapter leader. This organization, founded by Beverly LaHaye, is designed to protect the family through prayer and action.

Mothers of Preschoolers, or MOPS, has been instrumental in my growth as a mom. I have been a coordinator for MOPS for the past few semesters and have been blessed by fellow leaders and moms of all ages in this group.

Thank you for visiting here, Claudine, and for sharing your testimony of faith with us! I hope you’ll write all this up in a book someday!

Claudine Aievoli would love to help anyone interested in learning how to have more confidence in Christ. She may be reached by email at cc1212 at optonline.net.

Our guest this week is Christine Lynxwiler, a mom and writer who lives with her husband and two daughters in the foothills of the Ozark Mountains.

She’s author of several novels, including her most recent, Promise Me Always, which I reviewed for this month’s CWO Book Buzz.

Welcome, Christine! Your book has inspired me to get outside and do some gardening!

Can you tell us a little about your main character, Allie Richards, and what she’s gotten herself into in this novel?

Ever since she worked for a lawn service/landscaping company in high school, Allie has dreamed of having her own. When she marries, she puts her dreams on hold to support her husband through med school, but he gets hit by a car and killed when he’s still an intern.

Left with a mountain of debt and two young daughters, Allie forgets her dream. But when she’s fired from her secretarial job, her Pinky Promise friends convince her to go out on a limb and enter a landscaping contest.

As a young widow, raising two daughters on her own, what kind of struggles does Allie encounter?

Allie has to deal with the same problems most moms do — children who love each other, but don’t always like each other. She definitely wishes that she could turn them over to the other parent sometimes, but that’s not an option for her. She’s on call 24/7 and has to worry about being solely responsible for putting food on the table.

Can you give us some details about the Pinky Promise Sisterhood? What role do these friends play in Allie’s life?

The Pinky Promise Sisterhood formed out of necessity. Sometimes you have to have someone who will keep your secrets.

From the time in second grade when Lark and Allie found out they had matching Dukes of Hazzard lunchboxes, they knew they’d each found a friend. But when Lark told Allie that she’d never had a daddy and showed her how to pinky promise not to tell, the sisterhood was born.

A few years later, rich but unhappy Victoria was allowed in, and then when the trio were young adults, they befriended Rachel, seventeen, unwed and pregnant. Secrets bound them together to start with, but now love keeps them from ever forsaking each other.

You introduce a romantic hero in this novel, Daniel Montgomery. What do you think holds Allie back in trusting him?

When you’re writing first person, from the heroine’s point of view, I think your hero has to be larger than life. Daniel Montgomery fits this bill. He’s a risk-taker on a Harley.

But at the same time, he’s compassionate, solid, and safe. Allie can’t see past the first part. And she’s afraid. Afraid to trust anyone who can’t promise her always. And we know there’s only One who can do that.

As a writer, do you see yourself in Daniel?

Maybe, but to be honest, I saw myself in Allie too. Even though their dreams were very different, hers — to start her own landscaping company, and his — to write the Great American Novel, they both took a chance on achieving their goals. Following any dream is a scary, albeit rewarding, journey.

Yes, that’s true. There’s a strong theme of gardening throughout Promise Me Always. Are you also a gardener?

I’m not a gardener anymore. But I still think about it a lot. My deadlines have been so back-to-back for a while now that I don’t get my hands off the keyboard long enough to get them dirty.

For three years when we lived in Powder Springs, Georgia, I worked for a landscaping company. When I first started, it was a lawn service, but even then I liked the satisfaction that came from mowing a lawn, weedeating, edging it, and standing back to admire my work.

Then my boss expanded into landscaping and I LOVED it. I worked until I was seven months pregnant with my first daughter, then quit. But I’d always rather be outside.

I’ve been on a pressing deadline lately and Saturday, I took my laptop outside and wrote while my husband planted in the garden.

Sounds like fun! How does Allie grow spiritually as a Christian woman during this novel?

When the story starts, Allie has fallen into the trap of thinking she’s in control of her life. She doesn’t like things that mess with her perfect plan.

By the end of the book, she has to admit that God is the only One in control. I can’t speak for all Christian women, but I know that as I wrote the parts where Allie was literally forced to put things in God’s hands, I squirmed. I am a bit of a control freak, so this book was cheap therapy for me.

What’s next in the Pinky Promise Sisterhood series?

Right now I’m working on Rachel’s story. She’s a chiropractor who is happy living alone with her two dogs. But when she ends up taking care of a rebellious teenage girl for the summer whose only love is horses, it’s hard to handle it without some help. Along Came A Cowboy will hit the shelves in the spring of 2008.

Wow — you’re definitely staying busy with deadlines! In your Novel Journey interview, you detailed your journey to publication. What has surprised you most about being a published novelist?

I thought my life would change considerably when I got published. But it hasn’t. I still have fears and insecurities, bills and dirty dishes, good days and bad days.

Before I was published it seemed like publication was the goal, the end of the journey. Now each story is just a signpost along the way toward growing as a writer and as a person.

Do you have any advice for moms who try to squeeze in a little writing time while they’re also busy raising a family?

My only advice for moms is kids grow up fast. My little one was tiny when I started writing. Now she’s ten. I’ve missed too many chances to read a story to her because I was writing one. That’s my new goal. Be more responsible about my word count so that my house doesn’t have to become a one-parent household around deadline time.

On the other hand, don’t use your kids as a cop-out, a reason not to write. Carve out some time each day. A fulfilled mom is a great mom!

Is there anything else you’d like to add?

I have to put in a plug for the book I just turned in titled Forever Christmas. This is written in a voice similar to the Pinky Promise books.

Forever Christmas is set in Jingle Bells, Arkansas, a little town where, according to the welcome sign, “The Spirit of Christmas Lives In Our Hearts All Year Long.” Former runaway bride, Kristianna Harrington, has to fight to save the town she loves without losing her heart in the process.

I’ll be posting the cover or at least a link to the amazon page for the book on my website in a few days.

We’ll have to check that out — thanks for taking the time to chat with us, Christine!

Thanks for having me, Heather. It’s been fun!

You can keep up with Christine Lynxwiler’s writing and family life via her website, which she updates regularly with an awesome blog!

We have a wonderful guest today, Sheila Wray Gregoire. Sheila has a heart for ministering to women who need encouragement in their homes and marriages, and she writes the “Reality Check” syndicated newspaper column. As the author of four humorous, inspirational books, Sheila has so much to share with us!

Hi Sheila. Welcome to Mom 2 Mom Connection! How did you get interested in ministering to women?

Well, it turns out I was born a woman. Honestly. I don’t think I ever was a kid. I had a lonely childhood, due to my parents’ divorce, but I always knew that God loved me. And I knew that the only hope I had of finding my own peace as an adult was to make sure I was smack in the middle of God’s will for my life.

Have you always wanted to be a writer?

How I got started writing is a funny story. I never meant to. When my son was in the hospital, I overheard a nurse tell another nurse a really funny story of something she had done that weekend. I sent it into Reader’s Digest and made $160!

Wow! I’ve heard it’s really tough to get into Reader’s Digest. Way to go!

I figured that was pretty easy money, so I started writing for magazines. And that’s when I realized that I could use writing as a way to help other women find joy in their lives. It’s been a really fun ride!

Can you tell us a little about your family?

I have two girls who pick at each other like crazy and love each other whole-heartedly. The dinner table is far too full of jokes about flatulent gas and belches for my liking, but what can you do? Rebecca is 12 and Katie is 9, and we hoped they’d grow out of it, but perhaps that’s wishful thinking.

I’ve been married to Keith for 15 years, and happily married to him for about 11. Those four years factor quite heavily in my book, Honey, I Don’t Have a Headache Tonight!

I’m also the mom to Christopher, a baby who will forever be 29 days old, the age he was when he left us and went to be with Jesus. You face a crossroads when you lose a child. Keith and I decided we were going to cling to each other and not let his death pull us apart, and I’m so glad that we did.

Sheila, I read your story, The Least of These, about losing Christopher, and it ministered to me, as I’m sure it touches all who read about your experience.

I write more about what we went through in my latest book, How Big Is Your Umbrella, to help people who are yelling and raging at God, to hear the things that he often whispers back during our darkest times.

You’ve written several other books to encourage women. To Love, Honor, and Vacuum has the hilarious subtitle, “When you feel like a maid more than a mother.” How did you come up with that?

I don’t know how I come up with my titles. They always appear before the book does. I have about 10 other good titles in my head, but I don’t know what those books are supposed to be about! Hopefully it will come to me.

Do you have any suggestions for those of us who are feeling a little burned out on the never-ending housework treadmill?

If you’re feeling burned out, I think it’s important to remember this: God cares more about you than he does about the size of the dust bunnies under your bed. So relax! Stop aiming for perfect. Your house is never going to be perfect all at the same time anyway, so why try?

When we aim for perfect, we cocoon. No one can ever come over because they might see how we really live! So we spend our lives yelling at our kids for making messes, and watching the Home & Garden channel and feeling so depressed and guilty that we pull out the bag of chips. It’s completely self-defeating.

We need our homes to be comfortable. We don’t need them to be perfect. And there’s a big difference. Perfect means people are scared to come in because they might mess something up. Comfortable means people feel like they can be themselves.

Of course, comfort implies a certain level of cleanliness. You can’t be scared of catching some communicable disease in the bathroom or kitchen. But it’s okay if your knitting is lying around. Mine sure is!

Is it possible for us to get our husbands and children to help out with the housework?

Children—absolutely! You mean they’re not already?? Husbands, we’ll get to that in a minute. That’s a little thornier.

But kids need to be doing housework. Not helping with housework. Because it’s not your job! It’s theirs, too. Think of it this way: the best gift you can give your future daughter-in-law is a son who cleans toilets. That will be a good marriage!

Wow! I never thought of it that way. I’ve got some training to do! Sheila, what kind of housework do you think kids should be able to do?

By “housework”, I don’t mean tidying their rooms and making their beds. That’s just looking after themselves.

Kids need to be trained to think of others. Even a three-year-old can dust a coffee table, albeit not well. In my book, I outline a way we can tie allowances to chores, so that kids learn to manage money, too. But get kids working! It’s important for character development, and it’s important for your sanity.

As for husbands, it would be very nice to have them help, and I have lots of tips in my book of how you can encourage them in that regard. But a word of caution: you can’t make him do anything, nor should you. And nagging never works.

Men thrive on appreciation, not condemnation. If we appreciate them when they do help, rather than point out how they did it wrong, they may be more inclined to help again.

I also think it’s more important for men to help with the childcare than to help with the housework. Each family is different, and in some families the husband works outside the home a lot more than the wife does.

It’s probably more appropriate there that she does more of the housework. But he still needs to spend time with the kids, no matter how much time he spends at work. When my husband was working ridiculous hours during his medical training, I didn’t want him to come home and vacuum. I wanted him to come home and bathe the kids. And I still think that’s a good rule!

Right now, I’m typing this and he’s reading to my daughters before bed. And I’m perfectly content, even though the dishes need doing.

Does housework really have an impact on marriages?

You betcha. Just ask any woman who feels taken for granted! The problem, I think, is that women today are often run ragged with keeping up with the house, and the kids, and the dentist appointments, and all that stuff that men find rather boring and not that important.

And if women feel like they do the “boring” stuff, while men get to do the fun stuff, like working, then they can feel like their husbands don’t really respect them. They just expect their wives to be there to look after them. Well, what’s the difference between that and hiring a maid, other than what happens after dark, so to speak?

I’m glad you’re bringing this point up — because I sometimes feel like a maid. Since I’m a stay-at-home mom, I feel like I shouldn’t ask for help with housework. (It’s my job, right?) My husband works all day and spends three hours in the car commuting. But I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

In the book, I recount the story of my friend Diane, who was feeling very disrespected. “Every day,” she told me, “I lay out his clothes, look after the kids, pick up after everybody, make dinner, and then he gets home and eats it in front of the TV. He goes out with the friends, and he never offers to bathe the kids or anything. Then he gets back late, and you know what he wants?” (I think we all know what he wants.)

Diane felt like he never showed her any appreciation or respect. And when women feel that way, it’s really hard to feel intimate with our mates.

What To Love, Honor and Vacuum does is to show women how we can change how we act. When we do that, he’s bound to change, too.

But even if he doesn’t, we’ll still end up happier and more at peace. It’s taking control back into our own hands, and going to God for our fulfillment, rather than trying to “fix” our husbands. And when we take steps to act appropriately, and to be neither doormats nor tyrants, it’s amazing how our relationships can improve.

That sounds so helpful! Sheila, from your time spent speaking and writing to women, what do you think is the biggest challenge facing today’s mothers?

We expect way too much of ourselves. Fifty years ago, when my father-in-law was a boy, his mother would make him a sandwich, and then he would run off to an ice pond a mile away from their house with eight other boys and play hockey all day.

No adults around. No helmets. No protection whatsoever. And she was considered a good mother.

Today, we’d be reported for that. Our culture has completely changed. And we expect ourselves to have perfect kids and perfect homes and sometimes even a perfect career, and we forget that all God wants is that we be obedient. And He doesn’t ask us to have perfect living rooms. He asks us to share who we really are. And it’s okay to not be perfect. And it’s much more fun!

That’s true! Can you tell us more about your latest book?

How Big Is Your Umbrella: Weathering the Storms of Life, is a little bit different for me. I usually write strictly about parenting, but this book is about losing — losing a child, losing a job, losing a marriage, losing whatever is dearest to us.

So often when a friend is hurting we don’t know what to say. This book is short and non-threatening, a good gift for a friend who needs some encouragement.

Do you have any closing advice for today’s moms who are feeling a bit frazzled — but want to hang in there and be the best wives and moms they can be?

God first, husband second, you third, kids last.

I think we tend to completely reverse that. But give God time, even if it means praying in the bubble bath while eating chocolates. And don’t let kids interfere with your marriage! Kids need you to have a strong marriage, even more than they need you to spend a lot of time with them. Get those priorities straight, and everything falls into place.

Thank you so much, Sheila! This is great advice!

Sheila Wray Gregoire writes a syndicated newspaper parenting column, Reality Check, which she sends out by ezine every week. You can sign up for it here, and you’ll be entered in a draw to win a bunch of Sheila’s books and audio recordings! She’ll make the draw April 30.

I’ve added a new category to my blog here, “Crafty people and things.” It’s been a few years since I’ve been into making crafts. But now that my kids are getting older, I’m trying to find hobbies we can do together — and knitting is one activity I’ve been considering for my daughters.

So I’ve discovered a “knitting mentor,” Jennifer Keene! She is so talented and full of ideas — and she manages to find time to work on her knitting projects while being a mom of two boys. Jennifer has a home-based business called The Knitting Queen2, where you can see all the wonderful items she has for sale online.

Aren’t these little rabbit booties adorable?

Hi, Jennifer. How did you get interested in knitting?

I’m not really sure! It started about 12 years ago. I had been working in a job I really didn’t like and decided to quit and take a little time off before finding another one. I told my husband that one of the things I really wanted to do during my break was learn to knit.

It was just a whim. I found a cute little knitting shop nearby and took a class — it was a series of four evenings. By the end of the first evening I was hooked.

It took me a while to figure out what I wanted to do with my new “talent” (I have a couple of very ugly sweaters to show for that!) and I really found my passion when I was pregnant with my first son, about seven years ago. I started making baby hats for him and for my best friend’s son.

Baby hats are adorable and make such great gifts! Is it hard for beginners to pick up knitting?

I don’t think so. It’s pretty straight forward. Knitting is made up of two stitches — knit and purl. There are many variations on this, but it all boils down to these two stitches.

Knitting patterns can look pretty daunting — they’re often written in paragraph form and use a lot of abbreviations. For a beginner, I think it can look overwhelming. But it’s really not. If you have the right person teach you in the beginning, you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how easy it is to pick up.

What’s the best way for beginners to get started?

I think taking a class is the best thing. All knitting stores have classes for the beginner, taught by people who love to knit. People who work in knitting stores are there because they love it so much and they get great joy in seeing someone else “see the light.”

I wouldn’t recommend trying to teach yourself to knit using a book. That being said, I also think a beginner can learn a LOT about knitting in just a few sessions. For an investment of just a few evenings or Saturday afternoons, the beginning knitter will walk away with a ton of basic knowledge.

Do you have any favorite books you’d recommend?

Two books that I bought early on have been invaluable to me. One is Vogue Knitting. It has excellent pictures and drawings and you can look up almost anything.

The other is The Knitter’s Companion by Vicki Square. This is a small spiral-bound book that fits easily into your knitting bag. Again, great descriptions and covers a lot of basics. When I was first learning to knit, The Knitter’s Companion was my bible.

A spiral-bound book sounds handy so you can leave the page open while you’re working.

Yes — and keep in mind that most knitting stores welcome the chance to help you if you need to pop in for a quick question. If the help you need is extensive, they may ask you to schedule a time and charge a nominal tutoring fee. But if there is a step in your pattern that you just can’t get, ask the experts at the store to show you. That’s what I do!

You make this sound do-able! What was your first knitting project?

My first project was from the class I took. It was a sweater. I chose very thick yarn, in a color I don’t particularly care for, and it ended up being something I knew I would NEVER wear (no one ever needs sweaters that thick in Seattle).

Somehow, my mom ended up with it and I saw her wearing it once. I was horrified!

What project would you recommend for a first-time knitter?

A sweater is actually not a bad first project — if you choose a fairly simple pattern. A sweater teaches you many skills a knitter needs to know — increases, decreases, binding off, picking up stitches, and finishing (sewing your pieces together).

I wouldn’t recommend a sweater, however, if you’re on a deadline. Even for an experienced knitter, a sweater is not a task to be taken lightly.

Scarves are obviously a good choice — that can be about as basic as you can get. Also, many hat patterns are quite easy and you can finish up a hat pretty quickly.

I love to knit socks. They are a great portable project, there are gorgeous sock yarns out there, it’s fairly inexpensive, and you’re guaranteed to wear them.

Why do you think knitting has become so popular lately?

Honestly, I don’t know. I do think the books and patterns that are available now are WONDERFUL, compared to what they were ten years ago. Designers are coming up with much more wearable, usable items and I think that intrigues people.

Also, writers like Stephanie Pearl-McPhee (The Yarn Harlot, Knitting Rules) are writing bestsellers about knitting. Her books are hilarious, very true to life, and I found myself loving knitting even more after reading her books.

It’s kind of a chicken-and-egg thing, though. Did people finally start seeing how fun knitting can be after seeing the great yarns and patterns, or are the new yarns and patterns the result of knitting’s rise in popularity?

For me, it is a relaxing hobby that I can do around my family. I really love to read as well, but reading is very anti-social. I can knit and talk to my kids or my husband at the same time. Many projects are easily portable and it’s a great way to kill time.

How do you find time to knit?

I quit cleaning my house! Seriously, that’s only partially true (part of the reason I quit cleaning my house is that I find it to be a losing battle. I have two small boys and a messy husband … enough said).

I often will schedule in knitting time — I do my errands, housework, etc. in the mornings. Then I usually knit during my four-year-old’s nap, and I often knit in the evenings after the house is picked up and the kids are in bed. I admit, I’m a TV watcher, and I find I can knit easily while relaxing and watching TV.

Also, my kids are getting old enough (four and seven) that they can play together and don’t need constant supervision. They would LIKE my constant attention, but I think it’s important that they rely on each other more for entertainment.

So in the afternoons I will often sit in the living room and knit while they play. I’m still very much available for them, but I am teaching them that Mommy has things she likes to do too. My family knows that knitting is important to me and I think they’ve learned to accept it (either that, or they’ve completely given up all hope…).

I’m in a Bible study once a week, and after our discussion there is an hour-long video we watch — I always knit during the video. I know some people who will actually knit during church services. I can’t do that. I honestly think I would still stay focused on the sermon, but I think others would find it disrespectful, so I don’t feel right about it.

Can you tell us about your business, The Knitting Queen2?

About a year ago I started selling my baby hats on ebay. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for seven years now and I really wanted to find something that I could call my own.

I’m not ready to go back to work, but I want to try to contribute a bit to the household income (or at least make enough to support my habit!). Knitting is something I am truly passionate about and it just seemed like the next logical step, to try and sell my creations.

I had been knitting for friends and had been getting a lot of great feedback, so I’m trusting that the general public will also feel the same!

I agree. Your knitting creations are so adorable!

I knew ebay wasn’t quite the right venue, but, well, you have to start somewhere.

The name Knitting Queen was already taken, so I became Knitting Queen2. I carried it over to my Etsy store just so I wouldn’t get confused with my different IDs.

I was so excited when I found Etsy! It’s a website to sell hand-crafted items! It’s easier and less expensive than ebay and I feel it’s a much better fit for me. So now I am exclusively on Etsy, trying to make a go of this.

I’m selling hand knit baby and toddler hats, baby slippers, coffee sleeves (I’m from Seattle, remember?!), and hand knit plush cupcakes. I have a list a mile long of upcoming projects, so the more people buy, the more I can afford to come up with new creations!

How can we get in touch with you?

My shop on Etsy can be found here. I also have a blog at The Knitting Queen or people can email me directly at jen_keene@hotmail.com.

Thanks, Jennifer. You’ve inspired me to learn more about knitting!

Thanks so much for inviting me, Heather!

You can see Jennifer Keene’s knitting creations at her website, The Knitting Queen2.