This morning I listened to Focus on the Family on the radio, and once again I’ve got to blog about it. There are so many great things going on in the world! Why is the news always so full of negative stories?

I learned about an organization called HANDS, Helping Americans Needing Disaster Support. Leisha Pickering spoke. She’s the wife of Congressman Chip Pickering (MS) and lives in Mississippi, along with their five children. She talked about the ongoing needs of Katrina victims.

There were nearly 70,000 homes destroyed when Katrina hit last August. Say that number slowly. SEV-EN-TY THOUSAND. Homes. Think what your home is to you. These homes were wiped out — completely.

She said at first there was so much help, as volunteer organizations mobilized and drove over to help with immediate relief. But now reality has sunk in for many of these victims, and they’re struggling with getting on with their lives. Many have lost hope.

So she founded this organization, HANDS. I hope you’ll be able to visit their website and watch the introductory video with your kids. There is so much we multi-tasking moms can do. Mrs. Pickering said her volunteers have compiled data on thousands of families, so there is a detailed list of their needs. She encouraged radio listeners to consider partnering with a family and seeking ways to bless them with whatever you feel led to do.

She talked about how one group had come down and actually built a new home for a woman who had lost her family, home, everything. Another time, her organization knocked on the door of a man, and when he opened the door, all he had in his apartment was a mattress. Two kids and a mattress. They offered him things he needed and came back the next day.

This time when he opened the door, he said, “Yesterday, I had nothing. Today I have hope.”

So, I started thinking — maybe there are some of you out there in Sunday school classes or other organizations, and you might be interested in helping out in this way. I mean, here’s where our faith goes into action. It’s important to read the Bible and learn the principles of Christianity, but an active faith also serves others.

Here’s my idea: I think this is something that would be wonderful for teens to get involved in. When I was a teen, I just wanted to hang out with my friends and do fun things to relieve the stress of school. What if teen groups partnered with families victimized by Katrina? There’s plenty they could do. Beyond the tangible donations, they could use their knack for understanding technology to give people hope.

Our church takes teenagers on mission trips every year, and they come back changed. Go look at that HANDS website. We don’t have to fly overseas to find a third-world environment. It’s right in our own backyard. What can you do to help?

Here’s an important article every parent should read from the Active Christian Media website. Actually, this is an article that grandparents should read as well — because when your grandchildren are in your care, you should also take steps to protect them from internet predators.

10 Things You Can Do Today To Protect Your Children from Online Predators Who Want Them

I have a dear friend who has a heart for children with special needs. In fact, she’s hoping to start a blog soon to help connect parents who are raising exceptional children. She asked if I would share this website with you and see if there is ANYONE out there who might be able to offer some help.

There is a family with a precious 6-month-old daughter named Grace who was born last September. She has mysterious symptoms of turning a purplish color after she eats, and she has trouble breathing. She sleeps about 20 hours a day. Her parents have started a blog called Purple Baby with the hope that someone may recognize Grace’s symptoms and have suggestions for medical tests or point them in the direction of a diagnosis. When you see her sweet picture, you’ll be overwhelmed — please pray for them.

Here’s something I discovered yesterday that might be helpful for parents of babies or toddlers who aren’t sleeping all night on a regular basis. Do you have bags under your eyes from lack of sleep? Are you tired and irritable throughout the day because every night it’s the same old thing: as soon as you get to sleep, your baby wakes you up wanting to be fed or held?

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how having a feeding schedule can bring order and peace to your day — but here’s a post written by a DAD who has been there, done that, and has some awesome advice for the weary.

His one secret tip will change your life if you’re still getting up several times a night to care for a fussy baby.

I got an email recently from a woman who would like tips on how to publish her first children’s book. Since this is something I’ve never done before, all I could do was encourage her and pass along some great websites. I told her publishing is a journey that is different for every writer. The more you read other people’s success stories, the more you realize it’s an art, not a science.

Although there are people who write one book that gets published right away and sells millions of copies, most people find it a gradual process of taking small steps toward their publishing goals.

Here are a few places where you can find good information:

The Institute of Children’s Literature offers a free weekly e-newsletter, which is very helpful. The editor, Jan Fields, has a thorough inside knowledge of the children’s publishing industry. The newsletter contains articles from published children’s writers, question/answer topics with Jan, and interviews with writers and editors.

I love reading interviews with editors because you can glean details that will really help you stand out if you contact them in the future. In your query letter, you can say something like, “I recently read in your interview with Jan Fields that your publication is looking for stories about ___.” Don’t you think the editor will be impressed if you’ve done your homework and are sending exactly what has been requested?

Another site that is helpful for any writer is Terry Whalin’s Right Writing website and The Writing Life blog. He has dozens of articles that will point you in the right direction. If you read his blog regularly, you’ll see over and over again his advice that you start out writing articles or stories for magazines, then move into writing books.

For one thing, your publisher will want to know that you’re a professional. Also, he tells his blog readers a lot about marketing. These days, you can’t expect your publisher to do your marketing for you. When you send them your book proposal, you must also include a marketing plan — how will you help promote your book? Are you a speaker? Will you do school visits? Can you do radio interviews? I’ve been shocked to learn in the past year that most writers must also be speakers if they want to publish books. (Especially if you choose to self-publish!)

Another helpful resource is Mary Demuth’s website, as well as her blog. She recently posted about 14 ways you can improve your writing and line your pocketbook. She has a free newsletter that is packed with awesome tips, and she is a true Christ follower. I love reading her newsletters.

I’m posting this here because I’ve looked all over the internet and can’t find out who wrote this. Does anybody know?

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn’t even include college tuition.

But $160,140 isn’t so bad if you break it down. It translates into:

* $8,896.66 a year,
* $741.38 a month
* $171.08 a week.
* That’s a mere $24.24 a day, just over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice is don’t have children if you want to be “rich.” Actually, it is just the opposite. What you get for your $160,140:

* Naming rights. First, middle, and last,
* Glimpses of God every day.
* Giggles under the covers every night.
* More love than your heart can hold.
* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
* A hand to hold, usually covered with jelly or chocolate.
* A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites.
* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.

For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to:

* finger-paint,
* carve pumpkins,
* play hide-and-seek,
* catch lightning bugs, and
* never stop believing in Santa Claus.

You have an excuse to:

* keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,
* watching Saturday morning cartoons,
* going to Disney movies, and
* wishing on stars.
* You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother’s Day, and cards with backward letters for Father’s Day.

For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:

* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
* taking the training wheels off a bike,
* removing a splinter,
* filling a wading pool,
* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat to history to witness the:

* first step,
* first word,
* first bra,
* first date, and
* first time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you’re lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great-grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal boo-boos, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so that one day they will like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price!

So love and enjoy your children and grandchildren!

Our Carnival of Beauty topic this week is “The Beauty of My Life,” hosted by Sallie of Two Talent Living.

Since so much of my life right now revolves around my family and our children’s schooling, I thought it would be appropriate to share with you our educational journey.

It’s funny how the topics that interest me as a parent have changed over the years. Before I had children, there were ISSUES that I thought were truly life-and-death matters. Can you relate?

During pregnancy, I discussed with great passion these topics: will I use a midwife or doctor? Have a homebirth or hospital birth? Prepare for natural labor, epidural, or C-section? Breastfeed or bottle? Feed on demand or feed on a schedule?

Next, I headed into the baby development milestones and toddler years, which is where I still am with some of my children: bedtimes and discipline, what to eat and when, potty training, breaking habits like pacifiers or thumb-sucking, early educational ideas, etc.

Now, I’m deep in the trenches of this issue: how to educate our children. This is a HUGE topic of course — as it covers the ages of at least 3 to 18 for each child. Will we homeschool? Send them to a private school? Send them to a public school?

These are the years we have to do something … to make sure our children are raised to grow in wisdom which comes from fear of the Lord — and also to have the skills and knowledge they’ll need to get along on their own someday.

It used to be easy. There were fewer options. People let their kids all walk to the same school, which was down the street. Now the vast array of options is overwhelming.

Several people have asked me lately about why we homeschooled, and why we’re not now. Well, I don’t want to go into all that in such a public forum, so I’ll just say a few things. From the day our first child was born, I was drawn to homeschooling. I was surrounded by wise, godly families in our church and neighborhood who homeschooled. I hung out in their homes and knew that’s what I wanted for our family.

I read a million books about homeschooling. Well, not a million. But several dozen at least. I went to conferences when our oldest was only four years old! We joined a great local support group, and I went to all the meetings. So, we homeschooled for three wonderful years. But then I needed a break. I’ll spare you the details, but I had a lot of stress going on in my life, and I needed someone to help me out during school hours. The Proverbs 31 woman didn’t do it all either, you see. Our best option was public school, unless I went to work full-time to earn private school tuition, which we didn’t want me to have to do.

Our kids have wonderful teachers, many of whom read my blog, and I’m so appreciative of their sincere commitment to love our children and be a light in the world. I know many of them have strong Christian faith and do the best they can within the parameters of the system to teach our children God’s ways.

Yet … we still take things year by year. Child by child. I miss so many things about pouring my time and energy into homeschooling, and I miss being part of our homeschool group. I really, really, really want our children to have time to take music lessons and play instruments … and I love the Sonlight curriculum. But home educating is a consuming full-time job for me. If we ever did go back to it, I know without a doubt that I would not have time to do any writing from home. And maybe that would be fine. I’ve so enjoyed all the online friendships I’ve made in the past couple of years and working with editors and other writers … but we may be entering another season of change. I don’t know.

I try to think long-term, surround myself with positive people, and take it all step by step. That’s what we do every year. I have a ton more to say, but I’d rather not say it all here in my blog.

Raising children who want to serve God is a serious calling, one that takes constant thought and prayer. As parents, we want to do all we can … but ultimately we have to leave the results up to God and pray for His blessings upon our educational journey.

It’s Wednesday! And don’t stop here — you’ll have to go visit Blair’s gorgeous Carnival of Beauty. She’s so creative! Now we’re really getting to see her design talents. She’s presenting you tickets to a showing of 12 posts on the topic of “Order” today — and what a variety!

Here are a few catch-up details about my blog — in case you’ve noticed some new things in my sidebar. (As if you had nothing better to do! Right…)

I’m not really crazy and I’m definitely not hip, but I AM a Mama, and I LOVE being around other moms who like to write, so I thought, why not? I joined the “Crazy Hip Blog Mamas” webring. And they somehow accepted me. Now here’s a group of women who say: “We are blogging/ journaling Mamas who know that even though we have children we’re still hip and cool, no matter what anyone else says! … We’re fun loving, a little crazy, a lot hip and all MAMA!! … This is a site about real moms who try to balance who they are as a person with who they are as a mother. This is the real deal folks!”

I like that.

Every other Wednesday, I can join in a writing prompt — so that sounds interesting. A little easier for me to handle than all of you brave souls who tackle the Thursday 13 meme every week. I’ve tried to think of 13 things, but get lost somewhere around 7, so I’ve never participated. But one question? I can handle. (I think. Depends on the question.)

I discovered this group from Holy Mama! who says, “Really wanna know why I joined Crazy Hip Blog Mamas? I saw it on someone’s site that was way cooler than me – can’t remember who. I just figured if she was doing it then I was, too. And? I really don’t know who that was, and I wonder at how impressionable I am for a reasonably confident adult woman to be so easily swayed by a little HTML in a sidebar of a blog. Scary.”

How could I resist? Holy Mama! is way cooler than me, so I had to check it out! Anybody else care to join us?

Other Bloggity Blog activities:

I’ve also signed up to be a member of Women4God Blogs, which has quickly become one of favorite places to visit. It’s run by Catez of AllThings2All (who is currently enjoying her summertime in NEW ZEALAND!) and is a gathering spot for the latest updates from Christian women bloggers. And I’ve become a friend of Best of the God Blogs, where I’ll be sending some links to cool things. (You can too.)

And thanks to Mama B, I’m trying out this world map that has red dots to show where everybody’s coming from. So far, you’ve visited here from nearly 70 countries — how’s that for my contribution to world peace? (If everybody in the world had a blog, we’d be too busy reading and commenting to have time for war, right?)

Since there are around 30 million blogs out there, this is the best I can do to find myself among like-minded company. Eventually, my blogroll is going to get so huge, I’m going to have nowhere to write my own thoughts! (That’s OK — I’ll be too busy reading yours!)

P.S. If you’ve not visited Jenny at LJCFYI lately, you’re missing out on the world’s most adorable Oscars Party. Check out this menu: she served Charlie and the Chocolate Cupcakes, Wallace and Gromit and the Welsh Rarebit, Memoirs of a Geisha Sushi, and Brokeback Mountain Dew. Her friends brought Constant Gardener Garden Herb Bread and Turkish Delight. Of course, she posted the cutest pictures — so go visit if you need some kitchen inspiration!

This week’s Carnival of Beauty is being hosted at Scribblings by Blair, so if you’d like to participate, you’ve still got until 3 pm today to post on the topic of “The Beauty of Order” and send Blair your link.

I confess, I’m shooting two birds with one stone here. One of my high school friends is co-authoring a book on the subject of “Breastfeeding,” and she’s asked me a couple of times to send her some tips. Well, it’s one of those things I keep meaning to get around to but haven’t. Then yesterday I realized my #1 tip for nursing moms also relates to the theme of order, so here goes.

First of all, if you’re one of my guy readers (and I know you exist, though most of you never comment!), you may just want to click on out today — because this is woman stuff here. That is, unless your wife is taking care of a newborn — in which case, what I’m saying here may make you the hero.

I don’t like to talk about controversial subjects in my blog (got too much else going on in my life!), but I do have strong opinions about the importance of scheduling a routine in homes with newborns — and toddlers for that matter. This is something that doesn’t come naturally to me — we were so blessed to be invited to take a class before our first son was born. The couple who taught the class were our neighbors, and they were the experts for me — with three happy, orderly children.

The first thing we learned was how important it was to establish a schedule for feeding your baby. This is especially important for nursing moms. Why? Because if your newborn nurses more often than every two hours, he or she will be “snacking” and not getting the rich hind milk that comes from nursing long enough to have this released. Plus, you’re going to be exhausted if you’re nursing a baby every hour around the clock.

When you can establish a flexible routine of nursing every 2-3 hours (aiming for 3), your life will start to have some order, and your baby will learn how to sleep longer at night. Getting a full night’s sleep is important for you and your baby — if a baby continues to wake up several times a night, he or she will probably be a toddler who can’t sleep well either. This makes everyone grumpy!

I’m not the kind of mom who likes to nurse out in public, so I liked to schedule my feedings when I knew I’d be at home — or in a quiet place (as much as possible). I didn’t carry my newborn in a sling and let him or her nurse all day. I know there are moms who do that, but I think this can be exhausting, especially when you’ve got two or more siblings who want to sit in your lap and be held.

With each baby I brought home from the hospital, I scribbled out a very flexible routine — that I adapted and changed each week as it became more apparent how this baby’s personality fit into our family. This schedule helped me keep my sanity, and I can’t imagine if I’d had to survive the first six weeks without having something written down to go by.

Moving on from feeding your baby, here are some other advantages of establishing daily routines. It’s very easy when you’re home with only one baby or toddler to fall into a slump of “I have nothing I really need to do, nowhere I need to be, so I think I’ll stay in my pajamas all day.” This is OK every now and then — even fun! But it shouldn’t be routine, or you’ll start to resent your husband for being out in the “real world” of adults, while you’re staying home day after day in your pajamas.

You should plan something for every day, and write it on your calendar. “Today, I will get dressed and go to the grocery store.” Or plan out a little schedule of weekly activities that you can do with your baby — or even something that you can do without your baby. I specifically joined a gym and church Bible study that both provided great child care!

Even when we were pinching every single penny in graduate school, I kept our two little ones on a routine. We didn’t have the financial means to take expensive Mommy-and-Me classes, but we looked forward to daily walks with our neighbors, free library storytime, and a couple of mom playgroups. At least three times a week, I tried to plan something that involved getting out of the house for a little bit — even if it only meant for a walk down the street.

Why am I writing all this? Because I have such a tender heart toward new moms. Sometimes I felt so alone during those early years. It’s so much easier when you have older children because they’ll have schedules that dictate how you spend your time — the baby will just come along for the ride wherever you have to be.

But it’s easy to fall into depression when you’ve got a newborn, and you’re home alone. Since many women don’t make up a schedule to live by — they feel like they’re bored or on the verge of going crazy, and they end up heading back to work as soon as possible. This makes it even harder for the moms who stay home because you really have to seek out like-minded stay-home moms.

Wow — I feel like I’m just getting started. Yikes. Blogs should be quick to read — sorry! Can you tell I’m passionate about this topic?

Well, I’m probably breaking all book reviewer records today, but I can’t wait another second to tell you about this book. Only two days ago, it appeared in my mailbox, wrapped inside a padded white envelope with that oh-so-familiar Mind & Media return address. I knew instantly what book it was, and I could hardly wait to get inside and unwrap it!

I first heard about Barbara Curtis’ book on Amy’s Humble Musings. I love Amy’s blog and when she said, “Reading this book was like a cup of cocoa on a cold day: Barbara’s warm candor and not-so-perfect stories were a treat to me, a mother in the trenches,” I knew I’d enjoy this book too. Also, one of Amy’s commenters said she read the book cover to cover with a flashlight at night! So, when I found out Mind & Media was offering this book for review, I was all over it.

This is how I spent my quiet Sunday afternoon — reading this delightful book. It’s the perfect length for busy moms, and oh-so-full of wonderful words of refreshment. Barbara Curtis has a passion for inspiring mothers like me to see our roles as a calling. I can tell you my book is already dog-eared, underlined, and filled with stars and scribbles in the margins — which means I’ll be quoting from it every chance I can get!

First of all, this book is rich; it’s not fluffy. I’m so tired of fluffy books written by authors who must produce a new book every year, even when they have nothing new to say. Their books are full of cutesy graphics and quotes from other people. The same old thing I’ve read dozens of times. Instead, this is written by a woman who finds deep, spiritual joy in the GREAT ADVENTURE of motherhood. She loves her family; she loves her life. And after reading it, you’ll understand why — and you’ll want what she has for yourself.

Lord, Please Meet Me in the Laundry Room is Barbara Curtis’ life story — her long, drawn-out answer to the question she probably hears several times a day: “So, how do you DO it?” Barbara is the mother of 12 kids — 9 of her own and 3 adopted. What’s more, she and her husband purposefully adopted three children with Down’s syndrome since one of their sons has this “little extra” chromosome. Need I say more about her qualifications to write a book?

In the first chapter, Barbara describes how her laundry room became the one place in her home where she could have a “Quiet Time,” where she could pour out her heart to God as well as listen to the “still small Voice” of the Lord. She says:

And so my laundry room became my prayer closet. For years it’s been the place I meet the Lord each morning before my children awake, and at intervals throughout the day as I transfer clothes from baskets to washer, from washer to dryer, from dryer to baskets again … I never have trouble finding God in my laundry room. He is always ready to receive my praise, my thanks, my prayers for family and friends, my joys and heartaches too.

Barbara’s journey to motherhood has taken plenty of twists and turns — she didn’t have a good role model growing up, as she was transferred between divorced parents and even in foster care at one time. She moved to California and went through a period of embracing the ideals of radical feminism. Then she discovered Christianity for the very first time while listening to James Dobson’s gentle voice on her car radio, then through attending a Focus on the Family marriage retreat. From that point on, her life changed forever, and she’s never looked back.

Despite what the world tells women, she considers motherhood the highest of callings, and she loves sharing her heart with her readers. She says:

If I had my druthers, we’d be sipping tea or coffee together, and I could take your hands and give you this special blessing: May God bless your motherhood as He has mine. May He give you the courage to see your mistakes and the assurance that He can use every one of them to His advantage. May He give you a vision of the glory of your motherhood, so that even while doing the lowliest tasks, you will not forget the privilege of your calling.

I have the feeling that one day I’m going to be reading that message out loud to a group of fellow moms — and I’ll have to practice it plenty of times beforehand so I don’t get all choked up saying it!

If you have a child who is a “challenge” or has special needs, this book is definitely for you. Barbara calls this “a little extra.” She describes what it was like to be surprised on her delivery day when she found out her newborn son had Down’s. While the nurses and doctors feared her reaction, instead she described the “joy and exhilaration” she felt at being chosen by God to raise such a special child who would always need her care. She shares how this “little extra” in some of our children motivates us to depend on God more.

She writes, “What a privilege to be so dependent, so connected to Him. And no doubt about it, it’s the connectedness to God that’s key in realizing that being a mommy is a completely worthy — and unique — calling.”

If you’d like to read an excerpt from this book, you can go to Barbara’s blog at Mommy Life and read her post, The Chapel of the Wash and Dry. You can also enter her Love that Laundry Room contest by sending her a picture of yourself having a “Quiet Time” alone in your laundry room. (Hey, some of these laundry rooms are fabulous — no fair!)

In case Barbara Curtis has a chance to read my review, I’d like to say thank you for writing this book. You’ve reminded me what a blessing it is to be chosen by God to be a mom, and how my calling is unique and wonderful. In return, I hope to find ways to continue sharing this message to people God puts in my path as well.

[Note: A condensed version of this review has been cross-posted on Amazon.]

I’ll have to update you on my plans to have a Japanese tea party with my daughters yesterday. Well, it didn’t quite happen like I’d hoped. After school, I had two hours to prepare a meal to take to a friend’s house whose toddler just came home from nearly a month in the hospital. So I was busy every minute.

Yet because I’d blogged about the Japanese Doll Festival, I remembered to pour the girls apple juice in pretty teacups. I couldn’t sit down with them because I was making my usual poppy seed chicken and a few side dishes. While I chopped and stirred, we talked about this Japanese celebration, and I asked if they remembered my small origami Hina Matsuri craft.

“Do y’all remember?” I asked. “It had a little drawer that opened, with candy inside?”

“Oh, yeah. I remember. I ate that candy that had all the swirls in it.” my second grader informed me.

So, it’s confirmed. One of my children has eaten ten-year-old candy and lived to tell about it.

We did eat with chopsticks last night — probably because the rice I made turned out a bit clumpy, and my son noticed it would be easy to eat with chopsticks. Actually, he got out the wooden shishkabob skewers and ate with those. The girls used my pretty painted chopsticks that are made of plastic — but the rice is more slippery to eat.

My kindergarten-aged daughter lost her first tooth yesterday. I ended up pulling it before dinner. She had me laughing so hard — every sentence she said throughout the afternoon included something about her loose tooth. Here are some examples:

“My tooth got loose today at school because I ate an apple … I hope we’re not having apples for supper because I have a loose tooth … I think I’ll look like a first grader if I lose my tooth today … Will the tooth fairy come visit me if I lose my loose tooth? … Does a loose tooth hurt when it comes out? … Do you think Daddy knows that I have a loose tooth? … I better call Daddy and make sure he knows I have a loose tooth.” Etc. Etc. About 900 more times.

You know, I just realized we don’t have a Daughter’s Day here in America. We have a Mother’s Day of course in May. But why not a special day to celebrate daughters?

I found this little Japanese song that is enjoyed on Hina Matsuri. I got out my dictionary to look up some of the words, then I found a translation online. I would translate it a little differently:

Akari o tsukemasho bonbori ni. Let’s go light the Japanese paper lanterns.
Ohana o agemasho momo no hana. Let’s offer the peach flowers.
Go-nin bayashi no fue taiko. Five musicians will play tamborines and flutes.
Kyo wa tanoshii hina matsuri. We enjoyed today’s Doll Festival very much!

What do you think, Momkori-san?

We enjoyed our Doll Festival very much too! 🙂

I know many of you are parents of teenagers, and I’m sorry I haven’t had much to offer you here since my own kids are still years away from that stage. Yet I’ve been seeking out some “experts” whose advice I highly value. Recently, an author contacted me and asked if I’d be interested in reviewing her book, which deals with the adolescent years. I thought this was perfect timing!

But when I looked through her press materials, something struck me. In a list of tips, she cautions parents:

Don’t snoop to find out about your tween’s love life … violating privacy by reading diaries or on-line blogs will build a wall, not a bridge of trust. Without trust you cannot effectively guide your tween through the risks and revelry of adolescence and romance.

Now maybe I’m way off here, but I feel like a paper diary is NOTHING like a blog. A diary that is kept private is one thing — but if a teen is writing online to the public, I think parents have every right to see what their teen is telling the world.

What do you think?

This whole issue began to bother me. Is it good for teens to be chatting in the blogosphere? For one thing, whatever is published in a blog is out there permanently. In real life, people grow and change; they get older, wiser, and move on to a new chapter in their lives. But if they’ve kept a blog, their 16-year-old thoughts will forever be cached in a search engine somewhere. (The same goes for adults blogging, but that’s a whole different topic.)

What if a teen later wants to interview at a prestigious university or apply for a scholarship? Will a high school blog help or hinder? Later in life, there may be job interviews, promotions, award applications … any number of opportunities. Yet if a potential employer checks the search engines, will those teenage words reflect a positive image?

So, I felt like it would be better for me to find a Christian expert to answer my questions, someone who looks for Biblical solutions to issues that parents face. I’ve approached an author who has published hundreds of magazine articles and several popular books for and about teens. She also travels and speaks to thousands of teenagers a year. I’ll be reading one of her books soon and interviewing her, so I’m looking forward to sharing her ideas with you here.

Meanwhile, I was browsing yesterday and discovered a few answers to my questions at the most amazing place! I ended up visiting Agent Tim Online, a blog written by a teen who is helping to launch a new organization called Regenerate Our Culture. Here’s what he says:

Regenerate Our Culture is an organization with the goal of regenerating our nation’s worldview away from the post-modernism holding it and back to the Christian worldview it was first built on. We believe that America is the most Godly nation on the face of the earth, but it can’t be denied that many in our nation have turned away from God in politics, religion, and their everyday lives. Our vision is to help bring about a positive change in these three important areas, and equip others to do the same.

When I read through some of his posts, I began to realize that teens who are writing with focus and a mission can have a positive impact online. Their writing can serve not only to help others; it can also enhance their own future opportunities. Yet Agent Tim offers caution to his teen readers about the potential hazards of sharing too much online. I encourage you to read this whole post, which is carefully researched and written. He says:

What is scary for many of us is this: our friends all have a MySpace, which [are] easy to find, easy to read, and sometimes easy to hack into if you know them well enough. I decided to go in and do a little investigation. My mom has done a lot more than I have, but here’s what I’ve found.

Almost everyone…no…everyone, puts a picture of themselves on their profile. Usually fine, yet it can pose a problem, especially when you consider the fact that most of the kids post not only their pictures, but also post their city, state, and country. Others post their telephone number, their school name, their full names and their friends full names, wonderful details about themselves, and other things that just shouldn’t be there.

Wow. As a parent of future teens, I find this downright scary. I’m glad those of you who are ahead of me are pioneering a path for those of us who will follow you.

Another one of the Regenerate Our Culture founding members wrote an insightful post about the use of Xanga among teens. She says:

One of the most used blog sites for teens is Xanga. Over half of my personal friends have Xanga’s and even more are getting MySpaces. While these are fun to read, there is no real purpose. When I used my Xanga, I didn’t do anything but ramble. It’s not productive.

Later she continues:

I’ve also noticed that many people who use Xanga also are disrespectful to parents and/or those in authority. It seems to be a breeding ground for irreverent thinking.

So for now, all I can say is — if you’re a parent of a teen, you should be aware of the prevalence of MySpace and Xanga — and I think you should most definitely know what your teens are writing online. I would also encourage you to find places like Regenerate Our Culture, which is launching soon and will support a whole community of talented teen leaders. (You can also sign up to become a “launch sponsor” and get this colorful button on your site as well.)

I’d love to offer my Comments section as a forum today for any of you who have concerns or ideas about the whole topic of teens in the blogosphere. What do you think? Are parents snooping if they read online journals? What are the pros and cons? Where can parents go for answers to their questions?

If you’d like to email me privately with questions for the author I’ll be interviewing, please feel free to do so. I have a policy that whatever you email me is kept private, unless I ask for and receive your permission to publish online.