I’ve been a stay-home mom for the last ten years. I’ve never held a job outside of my home except for volunteer work through my church. A couple of years ago, a friend invited me to join a club that does community service projects.
She introduced me to a whole new world.
I had no idea why these people were so organized and interested in volunteer projects that had nothing to do with church. What was their motivation? They were organizing races for charity, helping with various fundraisers, and connecting needy people with services. And they weren’t older women with grown children; they were young.
At first I thought everybody already knew each other, and I felt like an outsider. Then I started asking people questions and found out there were several tired moms like me who enjoyed getting out of the house for a useful purpose. About half the women stay home as a career and half work at out-of-the-home jobs. It’s a nice mix.
I’ve discovered I’m the kind of person who does better socially when I’m part of an organized group than when I wing it alone. It’s hard for me to pick up the phone and call someone to plan something. I don’t know why! (Must be a hangup of mine — haha.) I like being part of a group. I’m still drawn to books and quiet things, so I’ve volunteered at the library, helped collate cookbooks, and emailed people.
When I first had children and gave up working outside the home, I joined several mom groups — I went to playgroups and attended mother’s club meetings. We talked about mom things while our kids played together. Later, I was in a homeschooling group, and our meetings revolved around our common endeavor of educating our children at home.
Now I’m entering this new phase, and I’m not exactly sure what it is. Since I have a blog, I thought it worthy of writing about.
The other night, I went to this building, below, for a board meeting of the officers in this organization. I got dressed up in decent clothes that didn’t have peanut butter or spit-up on them. I walked down the hallway to a meeting room where there was a long, polished wood table surrounded by women sitting in those swivel kind of chairs. Outside the door, a gold-plated sign said “President’s Room.”
After I sat down, a server dressed in black and white came and brought me ice water in a crystal glass. She gave me a gold damask napkin with silverware wrapped inside. I put the napkin in my lap.
Then while we discussed community projects, the server came back with a basket of rolls and rosemary butter. She handed me a black folded menu, and I ordered green pepper and cheese quesadillas. During the meeting, I dipped tortilla-wrapped vegetables in salsa that someone else prepared for me. I didn’t have to cut anyone’s meat or tell someone to quit humming or to sit still. We didn’t play high/low.
In fact, there was no mention of kids at all once the meeting started. My job is to lead the devotions at the beginning of the meeting, and so I read a poem. Then all the other officers shared what projects they were working on.
When I finished eating, the wait staff came and took my plate and crystal glass of water. My bill came to $8.
What will I be doing in the next month as a club member? There are two women in our group who just came home from the hospital with newborns. My job is to encourage these postpartum moms in an organized way. I’ll do this by contacting the new mom and asking when a convenient time is for us to deliver her a meal. Then I’ll contact our meal rotation group captains and ask them to coordinate a meal, either cooked or purchased, to take to the new moms’ house. Then I’ll write up a small report for our newsletter, which involves sending one email.
I also plan to help our children’s librarian cut out a paper fairy tale castle to get kids excited about the summer reading club. I like to help out at the library. It’s a quiet place.
As I left the building that night, I felt refreshed. No stress at all.
There are many ways women relieve stress — some work in the garden or exercise. Others scrapbook or play bunko. Some women may feel so overwhelmed they seek help from a therapist and possibly medication. But for me, this volunteer group is what I need right now. I can’t handle the responsiblity of a full-time job, yet it’s still important for my wellness to do something every now and then without children around.
If you’re a little shy, like me, it’s nice to be a part of an organized group. And it’s especially nice to be treated like a lady.
