I’m thrilled to be hosting a special guest today, Vonda Skelton, a fellow writer who has become a dear friend!

I’ve met Vonda a couple of times at writer conferences, and we’ve bonded since we both love children’s books. And she’s a neighbor, right next door in South Carolina! I interviewed Vonda a couple of years ago here and here about her drama script writing and her series of children’s mystery books.

Recently, I had the privilege of reading Vonda’s Skelton’s first book for women, which was amazing. It’s called Seeing Through the Lies: Unmasking the Myths Women Believe, published by Regal. If you’re looking for a refreshing and challenging book for a women’s Bible study, I really loved this one! (And it’s FUNNY too — always a plus for me.)

Vonda has stopped in today to answer a few questions for us. After the interview, if you’ll take a minute to leave a comment, you’ll be entered in a great contest with awesome prizes!

Hi Vonda. Thanks for coming back to visit! Where did you birth the idea for your book, Seeing Through the Lies? How did it come about?

This book was written out of my passion for women’s ministry. We — not just women, but all of us — are deceived by so many lies! They are woven throughout today’s culture. I wanted to help us get focused, or in some cases, refocused, on the timeless truths of God’s Word.

I knew I could reach many more women through a book than I ever could reach through my speaking ministry. So, I started with the key points from my “Celebrating Womanhood” presentation, where we look at the seasons of a woman’s life and come to the conclusion that God can use each of us, no matter our age or situation.

After several revisions and rethinking the needs of women, Seeing Through the Lies was born.

Oh, I wish I could hear your presentation! I’m sure there are many of us who wonder how God can use us in the season we’re in. What takeaway points do you hope the reader pulls from this book?

I hope that after women read my book they’ll realize that Satan works hard to make us believe his lies, but this is what God wants you to know:

* Your worth is not dependent on your beauty, your busyness, or your stuff.
* A happy marriage is one that endures.
* Motherhood is an honorable profession.
* God has the power to overcome your fear.
* You win when you lose.
* Your life won’t be perfect until you reach perfection in heaven.
* You can’t win God’s love because of your goodness, and you can’t lose His love because of your sin. And that, dear sisters, is the truth.

Wow! These are really wonderful truths. Vonda, you’re a prolific writer, mother, and grandmother. How do you deal with your other obligations (family, job, church, etc.) when it’s crunch time near writing deadlines?

Did you have to ask that question? In all honesty, this is one of my biggest struggles — balancing my time between my husband, my family, my home, my church, and my writing and speaking ministry.

The truth is, my husband, Gary, is a dream husband. As I mentioned in the book, his mother made sure he knew how to cook, clean, change diapers, and iron long before we married.

AMAZING!! I’m taking notes now of things to be sure my sons know how to do.

And I know you’re not going to believe this, but I promise it’s true: I never have to ask him to take out the trash, fix the car, or pay the bills. (And no–you CAN’T have him! He’s MINE!) So on those days when he comes home from work at 6:30 and there’s no dinner on the stove and I’m still at the computer in my pajamas, he doesn’t say a word. He simply goes to the fridge, pulls out the sandwich makings and asks if I’ve eaten anything that day.

Can you tell I tend to get tunnel vision when it comes to crunch time? Yes, God has to rein me in over and over. I’m kinda like Paul, “I don’t know why I do the things I do!” (Now, if somebody out there could just tell me how to go to the potty without having to actually leave the computer — just think how much more I could accomplish in a day!)

You are SO funny, Vonda! That’s why you had me laughing out loud at your refreshing honesty in your book. I feel the same way about wanting desperately to find time to write, but needing to cook, do laundry, and clean my house — all at the same time.

Here’s another question for you — What’s your favorite worship song, and why?

One of my favorite songs is “Majesty” written by members of Delirious. The line that says, “Your grace has found me just as I am — empty-handed but alive in Your hand” just gets to me.

I can see myself standing before Holy God, falling to my knees … empty-handed, with nothing to offer Him. And yet, He takes me just as I am — selfish, self-centered, and proud — and cleans me up to be used by Him.

I can’t wait to get to heaven, ’cause I know that when I belt out the songs there, it will be beautiful! No off-key notes, no frightened, trembling voice — it’ll be loud and clear and powerful! And Jesus will be there, smiling at me. Yep. I can see it now. I’m the lead singer and Hillsong is backing me up. And Jesus is smiling real big.

As we say here in the South, it just don’t get no better than that!

Well said! Now since many of us here are trying to balance motherhood with a writing life, what kind of food or drink do you crave the most when you have writer’s stress?

Oh, a banana split always works, as long as it’s a real one. That means chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry ice cream, real fruit, and wet nuts, with whipped cream on top. And anything chocolate, of course. But then you have to balance it with salt, right?

Sounds delicious. I think I could use a banana split right now! Can you share something with us about what God has been teaching you lately?

He’s teaching me that I need to trust Him more. I recently had so many things going on that I couldn’t prepare for three events as thoroughly as I usually do.

I found myself feeling vulnerable, weak, and needy. Not that I don’t ask for His help every time I speak, but this was different. I was crying out to God, begging Him to fill me with His words, His message.

And you know what? Those three events were the most powerful, most amazing events I’ve ever had! Instead of working from a well-defined plan, I spoke the words God placed in my heart and mind. As always, I had been praying God would use the week’s events to change hearts … and He did. He changed mine.

I learned to relinquish my agenda and plans to His; to trust Him in a way I hadn’t truly trusted Him before. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

That week, God’s power was made perfect through my weakness. I never want to work in my strength again.

It sounds like your speaking ministry is helping the Lord reach thousands of women, as well as YOU! What are some of the lies or myths women tend to believe? And what are the best ways for women to see through the lies and unmask the myths, in order to live the lives God would have for them?

You mean, besides the one that says we have to be a size 2 and perpetually 23 years old?

HA! YES!! What about us real women who haven’t been a size 2 since we were in, say, junior high?

Besides the lies we’re most familiar with — like our worth is based on our beauty, our busyness, or our stuff — we look at nine areas of deceit women tend to struggle with, like the lies inadvertently promoted by the Christian community.

How many times have we been told, “Just believe God and everything will be wonderful?” Or “If you have enough faith, you won’t be sick.” (The truth is, Jesus tells us we will have trouble in this world.)

Or what about the lie that says we’ll get married and live happily ever after every day? The only way we can unmask the myths and find the truth is to go to God’s Word. Read His instruction. Take to heart the Bible stories of people who lived through similar experiences and then apply the principles to our own lives.

What are the effects of women being sucked in to the lies? And what are the benefits of overcoming this temptation to believe what the world and the enemy would want women to believe?

Regardless of where I go, I find that women are disappointed. We’re disappointed in ourselves, in our marriages, in our lives in general. The problem is, we’re trying to reach some impossible dream the world sets for us.

Living in truth frees us to be what God uniquely created us to be. He wants us to live the abundant life. But we can’t do that as long as we’re falling for the lies.

I like how you utilize humor in your writings. What is your philosophy about integrating humorous thoughts into writings that have more serious subjects?

Some people believe that Christian women speakers have somehow “arrived.” Ha! All you have to do is spend a day at my house and you’ll see that’s one of the biggest lies of all!

Let’s face it, we’re all in the same boat. We’re all struggling along this path called the Christian life. When we laugh at ourselves, we level the playing field and see that we’re not alone. That in itself removes a mask. Then we can move ahead to the truth God has for us.

You give great discussion questions at the end of the book that really helps readers assimilate what they have read. Do you have some ideas or suggestions for how churches and other groups can use this book in a group study? How would a group dynamic enhance individual growth?

For a long time, I compared myself to women at church … and always found myself lacking. But when we come together and honestly confess our hardships and celebrate our successes, we encourage each other in the struggle. Isn’t it great to have a team of prayer partners who will intercede on our behalf throughout the week?

What strength! What love! Oh, just imagine what we can be for Christ when we take off the masks and become real! By completing either one or two chapters a week, the study can be used as a 6 or 12 week study.

Vonda, this was a fantastic interview! Thank you so much for sharing your heart here and through your book. You’ve shared such wisdom with us all.

And now you — my wonderful readers here — have the opportunity to be placed in a drawing for a free gift selected just for you by Vonda. This is a GREAT prize!

If you can take a moment and leave a comment, you’ll be included in a drawing, which will be held on April 2, 2008. The winner will receive:

* Designer Gift Box (looks like a piece of luggage with the words “Faith, Family, Friends” on the exterior).
* One copy each of three books by the author: Seeing Through the Lies: Unmasking the Myths Women Believe, Bitsy and the Mystery at Amelia Island, Bitsy and the Mystery at Tybee Island.
* A stretchy bracelet with Sterling Silver Beads, Gold Swarovski Pearls, Turquoise and Blue Zircon Swarovski Crystals and Sterling Silver Masquerade Mask Charm.
* Bookmark custom-made with Sterling Silver Beads, Gold Swarovski Pearls, Turquoise, Blue Zircon and Clear Swarovski Crystals and Sterling Silver Masquerade Mask Charm on a 4.75 inch Silver Plated Bookmark.
* Gold Tri-fold picture frame.
* Pewter-colored oval picture frame.
* Jeweled decorated cross.
* Peanut caramel clusters.
* Caramel Truffles.
* Mini-Yankee Candle.
* Three-pack sample tea bags.
* Sample Columbian Supremo Coffee.
* Oh My! Itty Bitty Chai Packet.

Don’t those prizes sound like fun! And they’d also make great gifts for Mother’s Day, which will be here before you know it. Thanks, y’all!

I wonder how many of you feel like I do, like you’re trying to get back on track this week.

For me, that means taking a break from all those delicious baked goods I stuffed myself with during the holidays!

I’m heading back into my high-protein, low-carb “diet” for a few weeks. I hate the word diet because it’s really a lifestyle change that I want to stick with. I’ve stocked my refrigerator with yogurt and low-fat mozzarella string cheese — and I’m trying to satisfy my crunchy-salty cravings with nuts. Almonds, sunflower seeds, peanuts … much healthier than all those chocolate chip cookies I plowed through during my December stress.

I’m hoping to resume exercising this week as well — gotta love that treadmill, always waiting patiently, reminding me I’ll have more energy if I walk even just ten minutes. Can’t I at least handle ten minutes?

Our Bible study starts back this week, even though I still have a couple more posts to write about our Beth Moore Daniel study, which we finished last month! Hopefully I’ll find time this week to catch up. I’m always thrilled to hear from those of you who write to tell me about your book clubs and Bible studies.

It’s exciting to see how God works in our lives when we women get together and discuss great books!

In the new January issue of Christian Women Online, Laurel Wreath’s interview with Lisa Whelchel is so inspiring!

If you’re a busy mom seeking ways to increase your understanding of God’s Word this year, Lisa has some great tips for you.

I was blessed to pick up a copy of Lisa’s new book, A Busy Mom’s Guide to Bible Study, at the International Christian Retail Show in Atlanta last summer.

Since I was attending through CLASS Publishing Connections, my nametag said “Albuquerque, New Mexico” as my hometown. When I met Lisa Whelchel as she autographed her book for me, she said, “Oh, you’re from Albuquerque? I’ll be going there next week.” I was so tongue-tied at meeting her, I just smiled and said, “That’s great!”

There are several inspiring articles in CWO this month — I hope you can stop in and read the whole issue.

I’ve added Darlene’s “Live Well” button to my sidebar because this reminds me that I’m on a mission, like many of you, to live a healthier lifestyle. No more excuses!

My children need a healthy, energetic mom, and my husband needs a wife who’s in control of her emotions because she’s eating well and exercising! It’s a new year, a chance to start fresh with our lifestyle habits.

I need all the encouragement I can get! 🙂

Thank you so much to Tina who commented in my Advent post that Arnold Ytreeide’s Advent books are coming back in print, thanks to the great folks at Kregel!

Tina gave me Arnold Ytreeide’s website, Jotham’s Journey, which I visited and read this wonderful news:

In October 2007, author Arnold Ytreeide signed a contract with Kregel Publications of Grand Rapids, Michigan, for the re-printing of Jotham’s Journey. It is Kregel’s intention to have the books available for the 2008 Christmas season.

Depending on sales of Jotham, the other books may also be re-printed in subsequent years. But if Kregel decides to end their involvement after Jotham, another publisher is already interested, so there’s still hope that Bartholomew, Tabitha and other books will follow.

In the meantime, watch for Jotham beginning in the summer of 2008 at major on-line booksellers as well as most Christian distributors. You can also watch for it on Kregel’s site.

We’d like to say a huge “Thanks!” to the thousands of people who have written, called, and even visited over the last several years as Jotham was looking for a new home. We appreciate so much the suggestions, praise, and encouragement. Finding a publisher for a book is not an easy task — every book is a huge risk for a publisher, so they’re very careful in selecting books for publication. Your letters and emails helped keep Jotham alive!

When these books are back in print, everybody go out and buy them so they’ll STAY in print! It is so awesome to have Advent stories like these that draw families together. As a mom with five children ranging in age from 2 to 11, we love having these books to help teach our kids about the true meaning of Christmas in new and interesting ways.

This year, we’re going to be reading Tabitha’s Travels, and I can’t WAIT to get started. I’m being honest here and telling you that we haven’t begun our 2007 Advent storytime yet. Our weeknights have been so busy and exhausting that we’re going to wait until this weekend.

But I DID go to Hobby Lobby a few days ago to pick up pink, purple, and white Advent candles, and I’ve got the Advent wreath set up. I’m looking forward to starting this new journey with Tabitha. I would love to hear what materials you’re using to help celebrate the joy of Christmas with your family this year.

I would never have heard of Jotham’s Journey if another mom in my hometown hadn’t shared it with me.

The finalists for the 2007 Christy Awards were announced recently. These awards recognize excellence in Christian fiction and are “named in honor of Catherine Marshall’s novel and of her contribution to growth of the fiction Christians love to read.”

Because of all the book buzzing I’ve done in the past year, I’ve read several books on the list, including:

* Straight Up by Lisa Samson (WaterBrook Press) — Contemporary
* Grace in Thine Eyes by Liz Curtis Higgs (WaterBrook Press) — Historical
* Sisterchicks in Gondolas by Robin Jones Gunn (Multnomah) — Lits
* The Way of the Wilderking by Jonathan Rogers (B&H Publishing Group) — Young Adult
* Watching the Tree Limbs by Mary DeMuth (NavPress) — First Novel

Here’s a quote from Eugene Peterson (The Message Bible translation) on the Christy website:

Authority and precedence for writing fiction comes from the Jesus who told stories. His stories, as good stories always do, penetrate our imaginations and take on a life of their own in us.

The winners will be announced at the The Christy Award Dinner at the Atlanta Marriott Marquis on Saturday, July 7, 2007 from 6:30 to 9 PM. This dinner is open to the public, and you can follow the link from the website to find out how you can buy tickets.

If you live near the Atlanta area and you love Christian fiction, you don’t want to miss this event! Author, speaker, and four-time Christy judge Lauren Winner will give the keynote entitled, “Why I Read Christian Fiction.” Author and speaker Michelle McKinney Hammond will host the evening.

Congratulations to all of these authors!

I wrote yesterday about discovering Beth Vogt’s article in the new issue of Spirit-Led Writer. Well, that led me to do some nosing around her website, Mommy Come Lately, which is full of wonderful help for mothers who are having children later in life.

Beth writes, “More and more women are embracing motherhood in their mid-thirties and forties. Most Mommies-come-lately agree: A late start at motherhood—or for some women, a restart—enhances your ability to succeed as a mom.”

On her website, there are links to recent news articles as well as a rich library of resources — both online and print — that are of interest to women bearing children later in life.

I learned the term AMA, which means Advanced Maternal Age. Any woman over age 35 bears increased risks during pregnancy, explained more here.

There’s also a photo album full of inspiring pictures of families where the mother gave birth later in age.

Beth’s book topic strikes close to home for me. Our party turned out to be a lot of fun last weekend, and we had several young families over at our house. At one point, I was sitting on my back porch talking to two friends my age, in our late 30s. Both women were considering whether or not to have another baby.

I felt like, from that conversation, perhaps a new life will someday come into the world — because I do hope they’ll try for another baby. We also had a couple, mid-30ish, who are considering adoption — and this is also a topic covered on Beth’s website and in her book, Baby Changes Everything: Embracing and Preparing for Motherhood After 35.

Beth also writes a blog, Mommy Musings.

Since my last child was born when I was 36, I guess I’m part of this Mommy-Come-Lately movement as well. No matter what age you are — or whether you have a child biologically or through adoption — there is no greater gift than being called to raise a new human being in the image of God. Nothing compares to the joys!

I saw this link from Sallie and couldn’t believe it. I’ve never seen anything like this.

Honestly, I don’t like it at all. There are so many people in the world who would love to read a book — and seeing people cut up books as “art” bothers me.

Plus — what do you DO with these weird papery creations? They’ll just gather dust. I know what FlyLady would say!

What do you think? I’m curious — do these people cut up books as a hobby, or is this a job? Who has time to do things like this? I’d rather read a book than cut one up as art — but that’s just me.

With Mother’s Day coming soon, I want to highlight some special moms who reach out to encourage those of us deep in the trenches.

Gina Conroy is an author and mom of four who has a heart for using her gift of writing to build up her peers. According to her website, Gina grew up in a New York Italian family where she says “there was never a lack of drama, love and interesting dialogue.”

At the age of 15, she went to a Wayne Cochran retreat and gave her life to the Lord. She graduated with honor from Oral Roberts University with a degree in Communication Arts. Gina is founder of Writer…Interrupted and writes about her experiences trying to balance it all at Portrait of a Writer…Interrupted. She’s the co-author of Anytime Prayers for Everyday Moms and has also contributed to Reach for Your Dreams Graduate.

Welcome, Gina! Why do you feel it’s important for mothers to pray?

Believe it or not, praying is not an easy thing for me to do. I’m not talking about the quick prayers we moms mutter consistently under our breaths every day. I’m talking about the more concentrated and thoughtful prayers, specific to each child. I’ve always known it’s important to do, but knowing and doing are two different things.

When I wrote Anytime Prayers for Everyday Moms, God met a need in my own life through my own prayers. The topics I was assigned to write about were exactly what I was going through. My prayers flowed naturally from me and ministered to me.

Mothers know their children better than anyone else except God. We know their weaknesses, struggles and strengths. We have a built-in “worry mechanism” that father’s don’t have. We worry, so we pray, and that’s a good thing.

Prayer brings peace and takes care of things in the spiritual realm. Prayer can also change the course of our children’s lives.

Recently I adapted a new rule into my parenting: “Pray before Punishment.” Though I fail daily at my own rule and I’m still trying to break bad habits, it just makes perfect sense. You can’t argue your child into doing right, but you can pray him into it.

Do you have any tips for those of us who need help learning how to pray more effectively?

I’m still learning how to do this. In fact, I recently purchased The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian so I can pray more effectively for my children. She offers meaty chapters on why you should pray with comprehensive prayers at the end.

I have that book on my bookshelf — and I love it!

These books are wonderful, but sometimes you need a quick prayer to get you through the moment. That’s when I pick up Anytime Prayers for Everyday Moms and other books like it. I keep one in my bathroom near the kitchen where I homeschool. Then when I’m overwhelmed and need a quick prayer to get me through, I know where to find it. The well- thought-out categories in the table of contents make it easy to find the right prayer.

These prayer books are so helpful because the prayers are written out for you, so when you’re at a loss for words, all you have to do is read them. God doesn’t care if they’re your words or not; if you’re praying them, and they’re from your heart He listens!

What types of prayers are included in your book?

All my prayers start out with a problem, and end in hope.

Some of the prayer I worked on are:

When I’ve Experienced Failure as a Mother
When I need Guidance in Regards to My Child
When I need Hope, Peace, Patience
When I’m too Ambitious Regarding my Child
When I’ve Become critical and Judgmental Towards My Child

What mother couldn’t benefit from those?

There are over 100 prayers of praise, supplication, confession, and intercession to choose from. And every prayer has several scriptures to encourage moms.

One of my favorites starts off like this…

Dear Lord,

It happened again. I told myself it wouldn’t, but it did. I feel like such a failure as if I’ll never be the kind of mother my children deserve. Why can’t I get it right? Why do my children have to suffer for my shortcomings?

Then it ends with a prayer of hope…

Lord, encourage my soul and help me overcome the doubts and self-criticism that have crept into my life. My failure as a parent is draining me of energy. Recharge me with Your divine strength….

What did you learn about prayer while writing your book?

I learned that prayer is easy when it comes from your heart or out of a specific need. Prayer doesn’t have to be formal; just raw and real.

God wants us to pour out our heart to Him. That’s all prayer is. I just need to remember that when condemnation starts to rise within me because I don’t pray enough or the “right way.”

Prayer is not just an act; it’s a way of life.

Wow — that’s so true, Gina. Are there any scriptures that stand out to you on showing us how to pray?

“Pray without ceasing.” To me this means having a prayer relationship and not just a prayer time. Before I moved to the Bible Belt, I communed with God in prayer all day long.

Then I “learned” how to pray. That it was supposed to be done early in the morning and for so many minutes or hours. I failed miserably at this kind of prayer.

I’m just now getting back to the way I used to pray, and it’s very freeing.

That’s wonderful, Gina! Thank you so much for visiting here and for sharing with us about the power of a mother’s prayers. I know I couldn’t live without my active prayer life!

You can read more about Gina at her fabulous website, which is a springboard to many of the writing ventures she is involved in.

Don’t forget! If you leave a comment in this post by 5 pm today, you’ll be entered in a drawing to win a signed copy of Trish Berg’s new book, The Great American Supper Swap, sent to you by the author.

This book is so fun! It contains details about how to start a supper swapping group, tried-and-true recipes that even kids love, and wonderful potluck activities.

Best of all, Trish shares how God can use a supper swapping group to strengthen families by helping moms simplify meals so everyone can eat at the table together.

Christy Scannell is visiting with us today to share about a topic I hadn’t given much thought to until now: the stressful role of being married to a pastor.

Although Christy isn’t a pastor’s wife, she and fellow author, Ginger Kolbaba, researched this topic extensively while writing their first novel together, Desperate Pastors’ Wives.

Christy is associate editor of The San Diego Metropolitan, a monthly business magazine, and The North Park News, a quaint community newspaper. She’s also a freelance editor and a featured columnist for the new magazine, Catholic Couples. She mentors for the Christian Writers Guild and is a staff member of The Christian Communicator, among many other positions that keep her busy traveling around the country!

Hi Christy, and welcome! Can you tell us why you decided to write a novel focusing on the role of pastors’ wives?

There is no other role in our society that has the same kinds of pressures a pastor’s wife (PW) has. When a pastor interviews with a church, the PW is often brought in during the process.

Sometimes that is a friendly meet-and-greet kind of experience, but other times it is a grueling “what do you bring to the table” kind of interaction.

And it only gets worse from there at some churches — PWs are asked to lead every ministry imaginable, and meanwhile they are critiqued on everything, from how they dress to how their children behave to whether their chicken casserole is up to par. (Note that I said “some” churches — treatment of PWs obviously varies from church to church, and many are wonderfully loving to their pastor families.)

Are you or your co-author, Ginger Kolbaba, personally familiar with the role of being a pastor’s wife?

Neither of us is married to a pastor, but Ginger’s dad is a pastor so she was raised in a pastor’s home. Over the years, though, we’ve known many PWs through our work in Christian publishing and our attendance at various churches.

How did you go about researching your novel? Did you interview any pastors’ wives?

Yes, we talked to a lot of PWs personally and used some of their stories. We also drew from stories we’d heard in the past. And we read some PW websites where PWs post their stories anonymously. We didn’t use any of the stories we read on the websites, but reading them helped us know our characters were in line with what many PWs experience.

Wow. I had no idea that PWs have their own websites. Your book has really made me think more about the difficult role of being a pastor’s wife. Can you give us any specific examples of why these women might feel “desperate” at times?

There is no other role like the PW. The only role I can liken it to is perhaps the First Lady of the president or a governor’s wife. But although First Ladies are critiqued for what they do and how they look, it is not through a lens that is based in religion.

So while we might look at a First Lady and say she isn’t supportive of her husband, when we do that to our pastor’s wife, we are not only saying she is unsupportive, we are implying that she is somehow not fulfilling her role as a Christian. And that distinction gives the PWs’ hurts and sorrows much more impact than a First Lady’s.

That does sound like it can lead to feelings of desperation.

Some of what PWs experience is brought on by churches with extraordinary expectations, or churches that don’t recognize a PW is doing the best she can. Other bad situations for PWs arise from certain church members who, while perhaps well meaning, make a PW feel she is not living up to some unwritten standards.

According to one study, 80 percent of PWs feel left out and underappreciated by their churches! Another problem is pastor-husbands who are not supportive of their wives, many because they are under so much stress themselves from church responsibilities.

In another survey, the majority of PWs said that the most destructive event that has occurred in their marriage and family was the day they entered the ministry. Fifty percent of pastors’ marriages end in divorce.

I had no idea! What are some ways we, as church members, can reach out to encourage our pastor’s wife?

There are two levels: small and large. At the small level, simply telling a PW she is loved or appreciated can make a world of difference. Give her a compliment. Drop her a card. Take her a plate of cookies or a bottle of bubble bath. Offer to take her kids to the park for an hour so she can relax.

On the larger level, churches need to build stress-relieving benefits into their pastors’ compensation packages. Ninety percent of pastors work more than 46 hours per week and rarely take vacations.

Churches should help their pastors plan for two or three vacations per year by providing pulpit supply, paid time off, and even a paid location. Also, at least once a year, the church should pay for the pastor and his wife to go on a retreat, either on their own or at a pastoral retreat center, where they can relax and renew.

Finally, every church should provide their pastor with a list of counselors he can contact in confidence should he or his family need assistance (there are many pastoral counseling centers where pastor families can receive help without their churches knowing).

These are great ideas, Christy. Can you tell us how you and Ginger Kolbaba got started writing a novel series together?

Ginger and I were born exactly ten months apart (Feb. 28 and Dec. 28). We were both “only” children who were raised in Akron, Ohio. We grew up in the same small church denomination, although we did not attend the same church (Ginger’s dad was the pastor at her church).

Then we both attended and graduated from the same, small Christian college. She was a year behind me, and we knew “of” each other because she was a theater standout and I was editor of the college newspaper. But with all of that in common, we were not even acquaintances.

Fast forward to around 1999. Ginger was working for a Christian magazine, and I was working for a Christian book publisher. We were both on staff at the Florida Christian Writers conference, and when we saw each other we did the “aren’t you…” questioning and found we were indeed those campus co-eds from the late 80s. During that conference, we enjoyed finally getting acquainted and reminiscing about our college years. As we parted, we exchanged contact info.

Well, as it turns out there were many more of those Christian writers’ conferences in our future, because that’s where editors go to find writers to edit. At most of the conferences, the staff has to share rooms due to tight quarters, so Ginger and I chose to pre-select each other as roomies. Over the next few years, we grew to be great friends during our little junkets.

In 2005, we were back in Florida for that same conference where we originally met. By that time, we had started coming into the conference towns early so we could have dinner and catch up before our duties began. It was at this dinner in Tampa that we started talking about writing a book together.

Neither of us really remembers how the topic of pastors’ wives came up, except that we knew we needed to write about something that hadn’t been done a million times. First we tossed around a non-fiction treatment, but then we decided fiction might be more fun (neither of us had written it before) and allow us liberties that non-fiction wouldn’t.

The title — Desperate Pastors’ Wives — was just a natural for what we were proposing. I don’t know which of us came up with it, but we knew right away that it would be our marketing tool.

At the conference, we met with an agent who liked our idea and said to mail him the proposal. Encouraged, we stayed up every night of that conference outlining our characters and plot (I apologize to whomever was rooming next to us for all the giggling!). We also devised a way to split up the writing.

When we returned to our respective homes (she in Chicago and me in Southern Cal), we emailed and phoned until we had the book figured out. Excited, we mailed our proposal to the agent. He was thankfully quick to get back to us.

Thanks, but no thanks, he said.

Oh no! I bet that was a disappointment after all of your hard work!

We were crumpled but not crushed. We knew we had a good idea — we just needed someone to help us finesse it a bit.

That same week, Ginger was having lunch with a fiction editor friend, and Ginger mentioned our floundering proposal. The editor loved the idea and said she would take a look at it and let us know how we might “fix” it. She also said Howard Books, a publisher for whom she freelanced, was looking for a new fiction series, and they might be interested in ours.

She did, we did, and they were. Within weeks, we had a contract not only for one book, but for the three-book series we proposed. We were floored that a publisher was not only taking a chance on unpublished fiction authors, but agreeing to three books.

A few months later, Howard was bought by Simon & Schuster, so we lucked into the extra panache of publishing an S&S book.

What kind of an impact do you hope your novel will have on readers?

First of all, I hope it lets PWs know that they are appreciated and understood. We’ve already received e-mails from some thanking us for writing about them (or what they perceived to “be” them!) so I am confident that ministry is already taking place.

Second, I hope churchgoers realize how difficult it is for PWs to juggle church responsibilities and private life. Perhaps more people will approach their PWs with compassion after they read the book.

Third, I hope readers, regardless of church affiliation, come away with a feeling of sisterhood. No matter what kinds of lives we women lead, we do face many of the same trials. It helps to support each other.

There are two more novels in the series — will these be coming out soon?

The second book, A Matter of Wife and Death, will be out in March 2008. We are really excited about this book because it allowed us to go further in-depth with the characters. And we took the big leap of killing off one of them! A third book will follow, probably in March 2009.

Thanks so much for visiting here! I’ve learned a ton from this interview, and I’m going to send my pastor’s wife a card this week and tell her how much we appreciate her. Your book makes me realize how stressful her role can be.

Thank you for this opportunity!

You can learn more about Desperate Pastors’ Wives co-authors Christy Scannell and Ginger Kolbaba through visiting their websites. And look for their novel out in stores now or check it out here on Amazon.