Author Dena Dyer visits with us today, a mother of two young sons from Granbury, Texas. Dena’s devotional book for moms, Grace for the Race, was one of the first books I reviewed here a year ago.

Dena has been busy co-authoring a new series of books with her friend, Laurie Copeland, as they’ve become Groovy Chicks taking “road trips” to explore peace, love, and friendship in a growing relationship with God.

Hi Dena! Can you tell us about your Groovy Chicks’ series? What are these books about?

They are “book-i-lations,” anthologies of stories by women from all over the world. My co-author, Laurie Barker Copeland, and I, also contributed stories and sidebars — many as our Groovy alter-egos, “Pepper” and “Starshine.”

The two volumes are lighthearted, but not lightweight, explorations of what it means to live fully in the love and peace of Jesus. I told someone the other day that they’re like “Chicken Soup meets Laugh-in with a Christian message”!

Why did you decide to write these books?

Laurie and I met at a writer’s conference and worked on some magazine pieces together. We knew we wanted to do a book together, but just weren’t sure what it would be. And at the time, I was involved in a local Christian-owned music theater called Granbury Live, where my husband is a partner and full-time performer.

In one of the concerts, I did a segment as a groovy, ditzy 60’s character named “Starshine.” It was so well received, and I had such fun doing it, that my boss — who knew I was anxious to break into the Christian book market — said, “Why don’t you do a Groovy Chicks’ Guide to Life?”

I knew it would work … and I knew Laurie — with her fun personality and great marketing skills, as well as her acting, singing, and speaking background — was the perfect partner for a Groovy Chicks’ book. 🙂

She brought a lot to the table, and really helped round the whole thing out with regards to vision, content and humor. (By the way, our website is Groovy Chicks Road Trip, which Laurie’s fabulous hubby did for us. We even have groovy clothes, t-shirts and mugs now.)

How did you gather the stories for these books?

We sent out calls for submissions to our various speaking and writing networks, and to different writing websites. After the first book, we had about three times as many submissions, because people had started hearing about it.

So the second decision-making process was much more difficult. What’s really neat, though, is how Laurie and I — she is from Florida and I’m from Texas — both read all the submitted stories (300 for the second book!) and agreed without hesitation on the top 40 or so. We only had to compromise on a few. It was really neat — a definite God-thing!

I enjoyed reading your Road Trip to Love book, especially the tips on friendships, love, and mentoring between each chapter. What are some challenges today’s women face in nurturing friendships?

Time. Time. Time …. Ha! We’re so busy, and our friendships get left in the dust. Yet they’re too important to let that happen. I make a real effort (I don’t always succeed, mind you, but I try) to keep pretty close contact with my dearest friends. I just need them, and I know they need me … even if we don’t always realize it.

Do you have any suggestions for us on how we can deepen and strengthen our friendships? Is it worth the effort now, or should we wait until our kids are grown and we have more time?

I think that when we become honest with ourselves about our loneliness and the gaps that only friends can fill, and we share that with people, we’ll be surprised at how other women respond. I’m sometimes afraid to reveal that need — how I feel empty when my friends and I haven’t been able to spend time together.

But when I get real, they totally “get it.” In the Bible, in a book such as Ruth, we’re reminded of the gift of friendship, and how we can’t take it for granted or let it die.

And just let me say, as an Internet/email/blog addict (I can quit anytime I want–really!), I do value those connections, and they have been tremendously helpful, but it’s NOT the same as spending time one-on-one with a girlfriend.

Our generation (Gen X) is very well-connected on the Internet, and we have forged friendships worldwide. It’s a blessing, but it can bring about an artificial intimacy that makes it harder to foster face-to-face relationships. We think we’re connected, but we’re not … not really. It’s TOTALLY worth the effort, I believe, to nurture the friends we have at church, in our neighborhood, and in our moms’ groups. Especially when the kids are young — because we need support, encouragement and a relief from mom-isolation, now more than ever!

One fun thing that several moms and I have done is to have a monthly Bunco (a really easy-to-learn dice game) night. We do it on the third Thursday of each month, and take turns hosting it. The hubbies all know that they have “daddy duty” on that night of the month. We have been doing it for about a year and a half. It keeps us connected without being a huge time commitment.

What other projects are you working on now?

My agent, Wendy Lawton, is shopping two proposals around for me, one for women ages 20-40 on being fearlessly countercultural, and one for moms about dealing with inferiority and insecurity. Since our publisher for the first two books has undergone a bunch of changes, we’re also looking for a publisher for a third Groovy Chicks’ Road Trip volume, on Joy.

Can you tell us about your online writing courses? Do you teach these? How does it work?

I’m glad you asked! I love mentoring other writers, but my time is so limited. I used to lead a local writing group, but it got to be too much. So now I teach through Writers’ Helper and love it.

I have courses on writing for anthologies (which is free, if you go through it on your own!), getting organized to write, and writing short pieces for publication. Each one is a four-session course, and you can go through it by yourself, with others, or with me as a mentor/coach.

The prices range from about $20-$60, and they’re all conducted entirely online. All you need is a computer and email.

Thanks, Dena! You’ve inspired us to work on strengthening our friendships, and maybe some of us will send you a story someday for your next book! Do you have any closing words?

Well, if your readers want to be a Groovy Chick, too — it’s easy. All they have to do is have Christ in them. They don’t have to wear a certain style of clothing, or be a certain age. Any “chick” can be groovy!

As Laurie and I always say, we are just ordinary women — with a Groovy God.

You can learn more about Dena Dyer at her website. She loves to hear from readers and can also be reached at her blog, Amazing Grace-land, as well as by email, denadyer@sbcglobal.net.

Today, for the first time ever here on Mom 2 Mom Connection, we have a mother/daughter duo visiting with us. I’m thrilled to host author T. Suzanne Eller AND her mom discussing Suzie’s new book, The Mom I Want to Be.

Suzie is a mother of three grown children and lives with her husband of 26 years in Oklahoma. She’s the founder of daretobelieve ministries, author of several Christian books, and is a nationally recognized speaker to teens, parents, and women.

She’s been featured on radio shows such as At Home Live, Aspiring Women, Focus on the Family, Prime Time, and Mid-Day Connection, sharing her zest for life and relevant faith. Suzie has also published hundreds of articles in magazines such as Today’s Christian Woman, Guideposts, and Woman’s World, and she’s a family columnist for cbn.com.

Welcome, Suzie! You’ve got a new book out for women, The Mom I Want to Be. Can you tell us about it?
It’s a practical and spiritual resource for women who were raised in dysfuction or experienced a painful past, and who want to give their children greater memories than they received.

Why did you decide to write it?
I was approached by a publishing team after teaching a workshop titled “Pushing Past Your Past” at the Hearts at Home national conference for moms. I was a little unsure that this was a good topic to share at this conference, but after the workshop, women lined up and down the aisle and out the door to share their stories, and how they connected with what was taught.

I hesitated when approached because I didn’t want to reach thousands of women, and yet hurt my own mom. She’s not the same person she once was, but at the same time, does any mom want her mistakes held up to the world for review?

I was prepared to put it down, and yet my mom not only said, “yes”, but came on board with me. I asked her to write the intro to each chapter, and to share her story. I didn’t realize at the time how much more powerful that made the story, and the points in the book. As I read the completed chapters I was in awe.

How did your mom feel about your writing this book?
[Suzie’s mom, Karen Morrison, answered this question.]

At first I was very apprehensive. Then I prayed about it and thought if this will bring healing to my children and others, God will give me the courage to face whatever comes my way. Since handing out several of the books to ladies suffering from childhood hurts, I am so very thankful that I did go through with my story in the book.

I can personally tell you that your writing had a big impact on me, and I’m so glad you wrote this book together. It was so meaningful to see what both of you were experiencing at the same time, as mother and daughter, and I think this is what makes your book one of the most unique books I’ve ever read. Did any healing come about as a result of writing this book?

Yes, several things happened during the writing process. One, I realized where my love for writing came from. Mom had her first child really young and wasn’t able to finish school. She’s very smart, but this is something that bothers her. As I read the pages she sent to me, I was impressed with the depth of her writing ability. She was worried about spelling and commas, but what I saw was a woman who could communicate beautifully.

The second thing is that there were stories I had never heard. I didn’t know that my mom was molested at five years old. It certainly broadened my perspective. I saw mom as healed, but I never had seen her fully as the little girl going through her own pain as a child. That brought a much deeper sense of compassion for her, but also admiration for what has taken place in her life in the past 10 years.

What can women do if they don’t get along with their moms now because of things that happened in the past?

It depends, Heather. If a parent is still destructive (say, an abusive alcoholic), she must set boundaries that will help that relationship heal, or at least not be destructive. These aren’t rules to punish a parent, but guidelines to share your needs with a mom or dad who creates havoc in your life, your marriage, or your children’s lives.

But what if a mom has healed? Is she in “time out” forever? Is guilt a tool to make her pay for her past sins? Or are you able to begin new memories? In my family, this was a process and some are still working on it, but I felt so free the day I realized that I could love my mom for what she had become. She also became free. She knew that our relationship was a safe one, and she could be what God called her to be, rather than holding back to pay penance for my childhood.

You wrote a chapter called “The Power of Perspective.” How does that apply specifically to moms today?

When you’ve grown up with abuse, neglect, or addiction, the pain of your childhood can loom large in your life, and everything filters through that perspective.

For example, if a child embarrasses you verbally or throws a fit in Wal-Mart, the person who filters that through the past will say, “Why would you do that to me?” It becomes personal, rather than an opportunity to teach your child how to speak with respect or to handle his anger better.

This “filter” expands to other relationships. You see things through your self-image and the words spoken over you in the past. You struggle with confidence. You might struggle to forgive small infractions by friends or family.

Shifting your perspective means that you change your focus to who you are now, what you have now, and what you are becoming. That allows the past to take its rightful size in your life. It’s there, but it’s not looming over everything.

I share with women that your past is a very small part of who you are. It shaped you, yes; but it doesn’t define you or keep you from becoming all that God intended.

How would we use this book as a resource for teaching a group of women about motherhood?

I’ve created an intimate Bible study where small groups of women can work through this together. I share instructions on how to minister to people with painful pasts, and how to gain trust as friends and beautiful women working toward growth and change and healthy parenting patterns and perspectives.

Thank you so much, Suzie and Mrs. Morrison, for taking the time to share your thoughts here! I really enjoyed The Mom I Want to Be and will treasure it as I strive to become a more joyous mom.

T. Suzanne Eller may be reached at her websites, Dare to Believe and The Mom I Want to Be. She also blogs for teens along with several other Christian authors at Girls, God, and the Good Life.

Here’s another radio broadcast you’ve got to listen to if you can find a few minutes during your day. James Dobson is speaking today and tomorrow on Standing for the Family in a Lost Culture. Download this and listen to it while you’re folding clothes or washing dishes. It will inspire you.

He told some funny stories about his son, Ryan, and reminded me I can’t give up on my kids — even when I’m having a hard day! Those stories probably weren’t too funny when they happened — but now that Ryan’s grown, Dr. Dobson and his wife can laugh about the trips to the emergency room and all the difficulties of raising a very ACTIVE boy.

If you’ve never read James Dobson’s Bringing Up Boys and you’re a mom of boys, this is a book you’ll want to add to your collection — even if you only have time to read a paragraph every now and then. It will keep you sane, knowing what the long-term perspective is on raising a boy to become a godly young man.

Last night at church, I was waiting in the hallway outside the room where my girls were making their Operation Christmas Child boxes. My three-year-old son has entered this babbling brook phase where every single thought of his turns into a “why” question or something he must tell me. I know it won’t last forever, so I’m much more patient now than I was with my oldest.

Another mom looked exasperated with her three-year-old son who was wiggling and chattering while we waited for our sweet little girls to finish their project. Finally, she said, “Why don’t the two of you race each other down the hall?” So they did. Our two boys spent the next ten minutes alternating between running up and down the hall and hopping up and down the hall like frogs saying “Ribbit.” She turned to me and said, “I don’t know about you, but mine just wears me out. Maybe they’ll run off all this energy and go to bed easier.” HA! I agreed.

I just have to tell you that a few days ago, I got an email from a writer at Focus on the Family asking if I had any suggestions for how a mom of a 0-3 year old child can begin inspiring her child’s personal faith. Wow. That was pretty cool to be asked! She needed something right away, so I told her the first things that came to mind, then she wrote back and asked if it was OK to quote me as “Heather Ivester, mother of five and founder of Mom 2 Mom Connection, a popular blog for mothers of all ages.” Um, yeah. That’d be all right.

See, you just never know who is reading your blog! 🙂

But after I sent that, I’ve been more aware of how I try to instill faith in my young children. It really goes way beyond teaching them to say the blessing and pray before bedtime. Since I stay home with my kids, I talk to them about God all day. Really — every chance I get. You never know what’s going to stick.

One thing I try to do is catch my kids being good and tell them, “God likes it when you do that. Do you know God is probably smiling right now because you shared your toy with your sister? Do you know when you read a book to your little brother, you are making God very happy? Oh, I’m so glad you told me that you were lying because God already knew you were lying, and that makes Him so proud of you when He hears you telling the truth.”

My kids are far from perfect, but I hope I’m teaching them what’s right and wrong now, so when they’re grown they can catch themselves being good.

At least that’s the plan.

With October’s leaves in transformation, I feel like autumn is officially here. And today, I also feel like I’ve entered a new season of parenting.

This morning, I kissed my 18-month-old goodbye, left in the care of two sweet nursery workers at our church’s Mom’s Morning Out program. It wasn’t her first time staying in that room, so she didn’t cry. But it was MY first time actually leaving the building. She waved to me and promptly began playing with toys.

My first time! All five kids in “school!” Granted, I only had two and a half hours to myself. But it was a new sensation for me to feel as if my days of full-time stay-home parenting are slowly coming to an end.

So what’s a mom to do with kids in school and time on her hands? Well, I wore my jogging suit, the one from Target that’s halfway hip, so I went to Curves and worked out for half an hour, then to Mega-Mart to catch up on shopping.

It was like a reunion for me — yes, life in a small town is good if you’re in the mood. I’m usually not. But today I saw everyone in the world, and I had plenty of time to chat. No kids wiggling out of the cart or interrupting me. I was a social butterfly — feeling so happy and light, I actually made it over to the electronics department to pick out a new answering machine. Something I’d put off for about a year.

Today’s joys contrast sharply with yesterday’s complete and utter despair. I was home yesterday with my two youngest, trying to unpack and get caught up from our trip. All was quiet upstairs, and I was thrilled that my kids seemed to be happily playing together.

Rule #1 of mothering. If it’s too quiet, then something is wrong. I almost had a heart attack when I went to check on things. My three-year-old had decorated his wall AGAIN with purple magic marker. He’d gotten into the first-aid kit and opened all the band-aids. And the worst. He found my husband’s collection of cassette tapes from the 80s (recently recovered from the attic), and he unraveled them all. The tangled brown ribbons covered every square inch of his room.

One of those tapes was a gift my husband mailed me when I was teaching English in Japan. It was a recording of children’s songs, and I listened to that tape over and over and over. I used it in all my classes. I loved it. I can safely say that tape made such an impact on me that I fell in love with this guy who was thoughtful enough to make it for me.

When I saw the destruction, I sat in the floor and cried. “I’m sorry, Mama,” a little voice said. “I won’t do it again.” And he won’t. Because there are no tapes left to destroy. No more band-aids to open. And my mom and I are repainting the room next week.

I have absolutely no regrets that my children are all in school. None. They need the break from me. And I need the break from them. I love my kids. I love being a mom. But I’m ready for the next step.

What else is new? Another first. We took a road trip this week and rented a beautiful cabin in the mountains. Just our little family of seven. It was the first time my husband and I have ever done this! We cooked in our cozy kitchen and ate outside on the picnic table. We had so much fun, and it reminded me of how we felt as newlyweds in our first apartment. Our tiny kitchen had everything we needed.

I’ve spent the entire last decade changing diapers, and we still have one more child to potty-train. These have been happy years, but I’m looking forward to more road trips, more mountain cabins, more precious blocks of time to think. And dream.

Michelle Malkin had an excellent column last week that was printed in our local newspaper, Where Have All the Good Girls Gone? In it, she describes what has happened to Welsh singer, Charlotte Church, formerly a “good girl” with the voice of an angel. Malkin writes:

The corruption of Charlotte Church is a sorry little sign of how innocence and grace have lost their mass appeal — even as parents claim to want age-appropriate role models for their children.

Malkin shared results of a survey that was released this week of 1,010 mothers with daughters age 4 to 9 years old: 90 percent of the moms “believe there are not enough wholesome role models, celebrities, characters, and brands for young girls to emulate.”

You’ve probably seen this little logo, Moms for Modesty on tons of blogsites, but in case you’ve missed it, click on the image, and you’ll be taken to Everyday Mommy. As of today, 665 women bloggers, many of us mothers of daughters, have signed a “Moms for Modesty Mission Statement,” which can be found on this post.

This has gotten a lot of attention, and Mary Tsao of BlogHer wrote about it, further increasing visibility. All of this came about after Jules (Everyday Mommy) was shocked to visit a local restaurant with a dinosaur theme and see three t-shirts for sale in young girls’ sizes with the phrases, “Bite Me,” “Cold Blooded” and “Man Eater” emblazened across the front. Despite the obvious attempt at double entendre humor, Jules asked her readers,“I would like to know what you mothers of daughters think of these products? Would you allow your 6, 7 or 8 year old to wear a shirt like this? If not, why not? If yes, why yes?”

After an overwhelming “NO!” response, she wrote up the “Moms for Modesty Mission Statement” and created the button you see here, which has been placed on hundreds of blogs.

Malkin ends her Good Girls column with this plea: “Perhaps it’s time for moms lamenting the skankification of their little girls’ world to put their money where their mouths are.”

With Christmas shopping around the corner, will you make the choice to buy products that present a wholesome image to your daughters? Thankfully, we can teach our children the words of one “celebrity” role model who will never go out of style:

I don’t have anything important to attempt to say today. I just wanna talk to somebody … when it’s convenient for you to check out my blog.

Here’s what’s up … and why I’m feeling down.

This morning, right now at this very minute, a few miles from my house, I could be sitting in a clean, air-conditioned room with about 15 other women, watching Beth Moore teach on a giant video screen. As I’m typing now, at 9:40 am, our group is probably finishing up the discussion of our third week’s topic, Love. We’re studying Living Beyond Yourself, and WAAAHHH! I want to be there!!

Here’s why I’m not there. I’m holding my 18-month-old who has thrown up on me twice already this morning. She’s hot as fire, burning up with fever. I didn’t know she was sick until last night, while I was chatting with some moms at the church playground, enjoying myself for a few minutes until … BLAHK … she threw up all over me. This is why I do not even pretend that I have my act together.

My three-year-old is still upstairs in his bed asleep. I’ve checked on him nine times already. He was also feverish last night. I’m letting him sleep as long as he wants. Maybe he’ll wake up and have this thing kicked. It’s our first fall virus, one of the joys we get from being sociable and active in church this year. We’ve even dubbed these nasty things the “Wednesday viruses” because the symptoms always show up on Wednesdays after we go to church on Sundays.

So I’m not at Bible Study, interacting with my wonderful adult women friends. I’m also not at the gym with my friend Mary who asked me again to work out with her. She keeps reminding me she wants to teach me the circuit machines, and the last time she saw me she said, “I’ve got to show you how to use the Butt-Blaster. You won’t believe the results once you use it for about three weeks.” I’m sorry, that’s not a word I use or even type, but I couldn’t help it. There’s no better name for a machine that does THAT, is there?

I’m also not going to be able to watch my son’s flag football team in the championship game today. They’re playing an hour away, and the best I’ve done is send the grandparents an email with directions to the game, hoping one of them might be able to go. Another reason I feel like a terrible failure of a mom today.

And let’s also toss in my worries about tomorrow. We’ve invited two of my son’s friends to spend the night — our plans are to build a bonfire and roast hot dogs or s’mores. But what if my little ones don’t get better today? Ethically, I’ll have to cancel these plans.

Tomorrow, I’m also supposed to cook a chicken casserole to deliver to a friend in my women’s club who has a newborn baby and is recovering from a horrendous delivery in which she had to have emergency surgery and a blood transfusion. Furthermore, she had to have another painful procedure done yesterday, which may affect her ability to nurse. I’m really looking forward to visiting her tomorrow and taking her a little gift, along with my part of the meal (another friend is helping me.) But I can’t do this if I’m a traveling virus.

So! I told my husband this morning at breakfast — this is why so many stay-home moms find connection through blogging. I know this is a season of life that doesn’t last forever — and someday my kids will be older and won’t get sick as often. My elementary-aged kids hardly ever get sick — and unless they have a fever, I send them on to school.

My husband reminded me — well, at least I don’t have to be stressed about finding a sitter because I have to get to work. Yes, that’s true. But we were also talking last night about how useful it might be if I could teach English in a private Christian school someday — so we could get reduced tuition and use my salary to pay the rest of the tuition and expenses. That would be nice indeed and would give me something creative to do with this love I have of writing and encouraging other people to write.

Someday … but not today. My greatest ambition today is to blog about my desperate life in the hopes that one of you out there who may also be having a discouraging day may feel a little better. Or just in case you think I might have my act together because my blog appears clean on your screen and there are no crushed cheerios or globs of peanut butter on it, you’ll see that appearances can be deceiving.

I’m hoping I’ll be able to take a shower today, and maybe finish up organizing the last upstairs closet from our autumn fling. I’ll be making chicken broth soup and jello, and reminding my husband to pick up Pedialyte on his way home (can’t live without that stuff in the winter when you’ve got preschoolers or babies.)

Thanks for listening … I feel better already. Can’t beat the price of blogging!

I’ve been so busy this week cleaning out closets in preparation for fall weather, I’ve hardly had a minute to sit down and write. All these posts are swirling through my head, yet I’m having to wait … forcing myself to get my housework done first.

I wish our kids’ closets were big enough to hold summer and fall clothes in one place, but my girls share a room and share a closet — so there’s no room for gingham sundresses to hang once I pull out the corduroy and velvet. The good thing is that now they won’t even be tempted to wear their pretty summer dresses, since they’ll be packed away — forgotten about until next spring.

FlyLady would be proud of me — maybe I’ll even write her someday. It’s like she’s been standing over my shoulder telling me to keep going, keep going. I’ve filled up eight bags of outgrown clothes, and I’m blessing the Salvation Army shoppers who will be out looking for children’s clothing. I’ve been saving clothes for years to pass along to future cousins, but one day I realized, when my sister has her first baby, she’ll have showers galore and get all new stuff — and who wants all my hand-me-downs that have been worn to shreds?

I’ve decided to pack away a few special smocked baby outfits that were worn in pictures to pass along to our future grandchildren. Then I’m keeping a few more things for the girls to play with. They were thrilled when I gave each of them an old diaper bag filled with baby clothes that fit their baby dolls. They’ve had such fun dressing their babies — and did you know that tiny newborn dresses look great on Kit, the American Girl doll? They look like tea party dresses, and Kit has been quite happy with her new wardrobe.

There are two friends at my church whose sons are the perfect size for my boys’ hand-me-downs, but as every mom of boys knows, most of their play clothes get completely worn out. So I’m only passing along the cute little overalls and collared shirts that weren’t worn as frequently!

I’ve got so much I want to write about — stacks of books full of wonderful ideas to tell you about — authors I want to interview … But the FlyLady won’t let me go until I get this chore done. So, until we meet again, Ta-Ta-For-Now.

I was skimming my current issue of Home-Based Working Moms, and I ran across this fantastic article by Carrie Lauth, called Secrets of Happy Moms.

She begins her article with these questions:

Have you ever noticed how some Moms seem to be very contented and confident in their role as Mothers, and others seem chronically stressed and approaching burnout? Why are some Moms unflappable and able to keep their sense of humor, while others overreact to the slightest stressors in their day?

Wow! These secrets were really encouraging to read. What kind of mom are you? Are you happy? Do you feel overwhelmed and stressed out a lot?

I know one mom who has five children and always seems to be relaxed and having a good time. I asked her once, “Why is it that you always seem so happy?” And she laughed and said, “I’ve learned not to let things bother me. I’m too busy to worry about things. I just pray about it, let God take care of it, and move on.”

Great advice.

My #9 on this list is what keeps me sane, as I love the people I’ve come in contact with since I’ve ventured into writing and blogging. Well, I’m about to explode with excitement about the moms I’ve been interviewing lately — you’ll have to read about one special mom in next month’s Christian Women Online. And I’m shaking in my shoes (yes, I am, Darlene) about the next interview for the November issue!

I want to highlight Shannon Woodward, who blogs at Wind Scraps, as someone who has blessed me beyond words this week. I just finished reading her book, Inconceivable, and after reading her personal story I feel like I know her as a friend now.

Here’s how the back cover describes Shannon’s book:

Inconceivable is the remarkable true-life story of Shannon Woodward, a woman who stopped waiting her life away. Woodward revisits eighteen years of personal frustration, pain, and anger. She speaks from her own experience to show how women can have peace in their disappointment by surrendering their hopes and hearts, their dreams and losses, to the One who heals all things broken.

Shannon’s story begins in January 1988, when she and her husband are meeting with the doctor who tells her the dreaded news — that she will not be able to conceive. She said his words became like “a constant, haunting hum in my head, like a song you can’t shake — a song with the power to drive you insane. His voice was inescapable.”

From this point on, she and her husband begin a journey together that makes me weep, even as I type these words. Shannon explores her pain and subsequent healing in intimate detail for readers. She takes us back to her childhood, where she first looks out at the stars and wonders if God even exists, and she shares with us how her faith began to grow.

Her book is not filled with generalizations; instead, she takes us with her to every scene, filling each memory with description and dialogue which reads like the best of storytelling. We reach the point with her when she and her husband decide to adopt — and we agonize with her frustration when birth mother after birth mother changes her mind.

One of the most poignant scenes in the book is when she and her husband are bringing home their first adopted son, Zachary, whose name means, “The Lord has remembered.” As their new little son is bundled in soft blankets in the car seat, she and her husband look up and see an oversized, lighted marquis hovering above a used car lot. In bold black letters, the sign reads, “Congratulations, Dave and Shannon. It’s a boy.” They never learned who wrote that message.

The book takes us up to the present, where we see how Shannon’s journey has helped her become a mother to many. She has an active ministry in mentoring and encouraging hundreds of women through her speaking and writing. As a pastor’s wife, she’s able to come in contact with women seeking hope and guidance every day. What a blessing that she moved her ministry beyond the walls of her church and now can reach the world through her writing.

There are some books I read once, then set aside, without feeling a change. Shannon Woodward’s book is one I’ll read again and again, always remembering how the blessing of motherhood is a gift not to be taken lightly. Shannon’s pain and joys have now become a part of me.

I remember how I felt when I had an ultrasound with a pregnancy I miscarried, and the ultrasound technician said to me, “I’m sorry. There’s no heartbeat.” Then she picked up the phone to call my midwife and said, “Can I send Heather back in? She’s got an incomplete.”

My pain at that loss at 12 weeks was miniscule compared to what Shannon’s book describes. But it was still a death for me and involved a grieving process.

I’m so thankful to have this book to recommend as a helpful resource for women who are exploring this journey they never intended to begin. The back of the book contains a reader’s guide which includes discussion questions for each chapter. At the beginning of the reader’s guide, Shannon writes:

I pray you find peace — and that your life becomes a testimony to all you meet about the patient wooing and healing power of your God. May he fill your life with joy, purpose, and satisfaction.

May God bless many lives through this book!

Today represents a huge change in my life — it’s the first day of preschool. My 3-year-old has felt left behind since school started a month ago for his older siblings. He’s been carrying his little backback around the house and asking me, “Can you give me some homework?” He is SO ready for school.

He’ll be going three mornings a week to our church preschool. This is the seventh year in a row we’ve had a child enrolled. Hard to believe! I don’t think he has the jitters at all because he’s so familiar with everything. He has a new teacher and new classmates, but the playground is familiar territory.

To be honest, it’s me who has the butterflies. Why in the world can’t I outgrow being nervous around people I don’t know all that well? Every year, I have to get to know a new group of moms. And I can’t help it — I wonder where I fit in.

There are some moms who are easy to categorize — there are the tennis moms, who drop off their kids in their perky tennis outfits, barely covering their tan, muscular legs. I don’t like them very much (just kidding.)

Then there are the entrepreneurial moms, who greet you with a new catalog of whatever they’re selling, and you wonder if they’re being nice to you because they like you or because they want you to buy something or host a party. Those shopping parties stress me out, so I don’t do them very often.

Then there are the work-outside-the-home moms, who dash indoors wearing suits and pumps, their ear cocked into a cell phone. They make me feel underdressed and wonder if I’ll ever be able to have enough time and money to get a decent hairstyle that’s NOT a ponytail.

There are also the PERFECT SAHMs, who look beautiful and put together at 8 am, always on time, their kids the same. They’re the ones who volunteer for everything and make all the cute crafts for holiday gifts. (Unlike me — I show up with juice boxes … late.)

And there are a few dads, who sometimes look haggard as they rush to get to work on time.

New backpacks, ribbons in curly pigtails, smocked jumpers and overalls, hugs and tears, everybody snapping pictures — this is what the first day of preschool has been like for me seven years in a row.

So where do I fit in? I’m not one of the easy-to-categorize moms. I work at home, though few people ask what I do. I’ve been around long enough so that I know a few familiar faces, but most of my friends are either busy homeschooling or have gone back to work outside of the home.

This week, I’ll start my new Bible study, which will meet upstairs from the preschool. I’m very excited about that — we’re doing Beth Moore’s Living Beyond Yourself — YEA! I talked it up since I loved our online group — but I’m starting over again. This time, using a workbook like everyone else.

I’ve got a few butterflies about our Bible Study too. And I’m also the new girl in my exercise class. I still can barely keep up. There are no classes for “Tired Moms Who Just Want a Break.” No, I’m sweating to rock/rap music in the “Body Combat” class, learning how to “punch, kick, jab, and hook” because — hey, you can’t be too picky when there’s good childcare provided.

I did run into an old friend yesterday at the gym — and it seems too good to be true. We’ve been “birthday party” friends for years, but haven’t really seen each other without kids around. It turns out our daughters are in class together at the same school, and we’ve got kids in the same preschool as well. “This is the first time in TEN YEARS that I’ve been able to get out of the house without having to find a babysitter, ” she told me, after dropping off her youngest at preschool.

She invited me to start working out with her. So, I’ve got butterflies. A new friend! Please, Lord, please help me be a good friend to Mary. Help me to be encouraging and go beyond the surface. I really need a friend this year!

If any of you feel this way — you get nervous at stepping out of your comfort zone — maybe you can read this post and know you’re not alone. We’re all misfits this side of heaven!