Those of you who’ve been around me in real life know I’ve been on a Harper Lee kick lately. For a while, I managed to bring her name into just about every conversation.

It looks like rain today. Hey, that reminds me of the weather in Monroeville where Harper Lee lives.

Are you going on the field trip next week? Hey, did you know Harper Lee was from Alabama and moved to New York in her 20s?

Have you read any good books lately? I’m reading To Kill a Mockingbird again. Have you ever read it?

I can blame it on my local public library. Back in March, they hosted the first annual BIG READ event, inviting the whole town to read To Kill a Mockingbird together.

I couldn’t believe it. People of all ages reading the same book together! (Can you hear the harp music now?) Our library used some grant money to buy dozens of copies of the book, as well as DVDs of the movie, and recent biographies of Harper Lee by author Charles Shields.

If that weren’t enough, there were special speakers and events every week. I almost made it to everything. It was heavenly for me, since everything was local and FREE.

The first major event was a public showing of the movie, “To Kill a Mockingbird,” starring Gregory Peck. I gathered a group of friends and their kids, and we all went together. It was my third time seeing the movie that month, since I’d watched the DVD twice already, with and without the director commentary. So you see, I was a little obsessed.

At the movie night, we listened to guest speaker, Mary Badham, the actress who played Scout in the movie. Oh, she was wonderful. She told us funny stories about how she got chosen to play Scout and how she and Philip Alford, the boy who played Gem, used to fight and tease each other with squirt guns.

Before the movie started, she signed a copy of the photograph below for us, which I’ll always treasure:

Mary Badham was so gracious. I know she has been answering the same questions over and over for decades, but she made it so fresh and new for all of us. She did tell us that she can’t watch the movie anymore “because everybody in it is gone now. It’s just me and Philip (Gem) who are left.” Gregory Peck passed away in 2003.

A couple of weeks later, we were visited by Charles Shields, the author of the best biography you can find on Harper Lee. She really is a mysterious writer, refusing to do any interviews since the ’60s. Shields took four years writing his book about Harper Lee, completely without any cooperation from her. He conducted over 600 interviews, which make this a thoroughly fascinating read.

She only wrote ONE BOOK, by golly. It took her ten and a half years to finish it. She moved from Alabama to New York to be near her friend, Truman Capote (who is the character Dill in the novel), and to start a writing career. She lived in a tiny apartment with no hot water and wrote on a homemade desk made from a closet door.

Shields told us, at one point, Lee became so frustrated, that in the summer of 1957, she threw her manuscript out the window! She called her editor and said, “I give up.” Her editor told her to get out there and collect the pages of her manuscript or she’d have to pay back her advance. Lee couldn’t afford to do this, so she finally turned it in.

To Kill a Mockingbird was published in 1960, and it became an instant success, earning her the Pulitzer Prize. The movie version, with a screenplay by Horton Foote, won four academy awards in 1962. It has never gone out of print, has sold 30 million copies, and still sells a million copies yearly. The book is required reading by nearly every public high school in America.

Yet she never wrote another book. She’s in her 80s now and still lives a quiet life in Monroeville, which is now known as “the literary capital of Alabama.”

Since 2010 marks 50 years since the publication of Lee’s world-famous novel, Monroeville is hosting a 50th anniversary celebration in July. There will be all kinds of literary tours and events, and even a giant birthday party for the book. You can read all about it here.

Harper Lee did publish a few essays in magazines in the 1960s. If you’re curious, here are a couple of links:

Love–In Other Words, published in Vogue Magazine in 1961

Christmas To Me, published in McCall’s magazine, December 1961

I recently found out our BIG READ book for next year will be The Great Gatsby. Good thing, because I’ve also been on a Zelda Fitzgerald kick lately. But that’s a whole ‘nother story.

Her debut novel, Autumn Winifred Oliver Does Things Different, made me laugh and want to know more about her. So here she is, coming to chat with us all the way from Nashville, Tennessee.

Welcome, Kristin! How did you come up with the idea to write your first novel?

I grew up in Athens, Tennessee, about an hour and a half south of Cades Cove. We visited the park dozens of times when I was a kid, when my cousins would visit from Chicago.

But in 2002, I went on a tour of the Cove, and was standing in John Oliver’s cabin when the tour guide mentioned that at one point, 12 people lived in the tiny log dwelling. Twelve people! This place had no running water, a handful of windows, and was slightly larger than a luxury closet. How in the world did they live?!

It occurred to me that this place that I’d visited dozens of times as a tourist had once been someone’s home. I wondered: how does one’s home become a national park?

I’ve visited Cades Cove many times, but once I got the idea to set a novel there, I returned and took dozens of pictures and many notes. Too, I came across a research goldmine: in the basement of the Sugarlands Visitor’s Center near Gatlinburg, there is a library/archive that is solely dedicated to preserving the culture and artifacts of the people who lived in the areas that are now part of the Great Smoky Mountains National Park.

They’ve collected everything from recipes and church hymnals to school textbooks and photographs. Land deeds, descriptions of school-yard games, farming techniques — it’s all there. Heaven for an historical fiction researcher!

Are there any locals still around who remember what it was like when the government came in and turned their homes into a national park?

All around East Tennessee, there are people who were born in Cades Cove and spent their childhoods there. I’m constantly amazed at how many people tell me part of their family is from there.

One such person is Dr. Durwood Dunn, a professor at Tennessee Wesleyan College in Athens, Tennessee. Dr. Dunn was very patient, answering several of my questions while I wrote the book. He’s considered one of the foremost scholars on the history of Cades Cove, and his book, Cades Cove: The Life and Death of a Southern Appalachian Community, 1818-1937, was one of the most useful books I used in the research stage.

Have you always had an interest in writing historical fiction?

Absolutely! I love reading historical fiction, and research is one of my favorite parts of the writing process.

Are you anything like your main character, Autumn? Do you like to “do things different” as well?

I wish I were more like Autumn! She’s spunky and spirited and creative, and she definitely does things different! I’m much more of a rule-follower than Autumn.

Autumn is so funny. Did you ever crack yourself up while writing?

Thank you! Actually, yes, I did crack myself up a few times while writing this book. (I also cried near the end — but NO SPOILERS from me!

I think if you’re immersed in the writing that much — so much that it makes you laugh and cry and feel so deeply — your readers are much more likely to get that from the story, too. At least, I hope so! Of course, anyone who knows me knows I laugh and cry VERY easily!

What was your favorite scene to write?

Probably the opening scene. I’d been researching Cades Cove for several months, and I was itching to begin the writing process. A contest was coming up, and I wanted to enter it. I pounded out the opening scene, title of the book included, in about an hour. (Of course, it went through MANY — manymanymany — rounds of edits after that!)

Something that strikes me as odd about the writing process: I can remember exactly where I was writing, what I was thinking and feeling, when I reread sections of the book now. It’s like listening to an old song, one that transports you to a specific place and time. Just one more thing I love about writing!

That’s all so interesting, especially for an adult reader to know more about your writing process. OK, here’s a question on a different subject. I heard that you actually got to INTERVIEW one of my all-time favorite authors, Madeleine L’Engle. Can you share with us how it all happened? That is truly amazing!!

I know, right?! When I was in sixth grade, my fantastic elementary school librarian, Sheila Rollins, instituted a wonderful program: any student could read three of an author’s books, then interview that author by telephone. I remember exactly two things about the interview:

1. The interview was conducted via a speakerphone! It was the coolest piece of technology my 11-year-old self had ever seen. Very Charlie’s Angels.

2. When I told Ms. L’Engle that I, too, wanted to be a writer, she responded, “Good for you! Keep reading and you can do it.”

Wow! I’m sure she’s inspired many of her readers to become writers. Well, Kristin, after reading your book, some friends and I are trying to plan a family trip to Cades Cove. Do you have any recommendations for places we should visit?

You absolutely need to visit the Arts & Crafts Community, a loop just outside Gatlinburg about 8 miles long with dozens and dozens of artists working and living in a gorgeous, creative community.

If you have time, check out the Arrowmont School and see if they’re offering a craft class that you’d be interested in taking. There are always festivals and celebrations in nearby Gatlinburg, so check with the Gatlinburg Chamber of Commerce to see what might be going on while you’re there.

And of course, you’ll want to hike the many trails throughout Cades Cove and in other sections of the gorgeous Great Smoky Mountains National Park.

Thanks for all these great tips! Can you tell us a little bit about your next book?

Sure, here’s the jacket copy for Selling Hope, which will be released November 9 from Feiwel & Friends/Macmillan. I wish I could share the cover with you, because it is SOOOO PRETTY!

It’s May 1910, and Halley’s Comet is due to pass thru the Earth’s atmosphere. And thirteen-year-old Hope McDaniels and her father are due to pass through their hometown of Chicago with their ragtag vaudeville troupe. Hope wants out of vaudeville, and longs for a “normal” life—or as normal as life can be without her mother, who died five years before. Hope sees an opportunity: She invents “anti-comet” pills to sell to the working-class customers desperate for protection. Soon, she’s joined by a fellow troupe member, young Buster Keaton, and the two of them start to make good money. And just when Hope thinks she has all the answers, she has to decide: What is family? Where is home?

Our family loves Buster Keaton! Here’s one last question: do you have any tips for parents who are trying to carve out a little time and energy to write while shuffling kids into carpools and packing school lunches? How do you manage to squeeze it all in?

I wish I could say that I have this amazing time-pause button, or a clone machine, or an inherited gene that allows me to stay awake for weeks on end. But in reality, I have a wonderful husband who knows that when I’m starting to look stressed, a little writing time will go a long way toward curing that.

I also have a sitter who watches my youngest (a very active 3-year-old boy) a couple of times a week while I write and promote. I have a voice-recorder app on my iPhone, and I record ideas on it when I can’t get to a pen (which is almost always).

So yes, CARVING out time is exactly what I do. Writing is a priority for me, and I treat it like a career. The best career in the world!

Thank you so much for your inspiration, Kristin, and for sharing with us your behind-the-scenes process of writing!

You can read more about Kristin O’Donnell Tubb on her website and her Do Things Different blog. And here’s a really fun video I found about Cades Cove, in case you’re feeling the itch to travel to Tennessee.

A couple of days ago, one of my college roommates called after she received my Christmas card. The years melted away as we caught up. The day before that, I talked to another one of my best college friends, trying to track down her snail mail address. In both of these conversations, I admitted something I haven’t talked about here at all.

I want to teach English again … someday.

There. I’ve said it!

It seems to be a trend among my friends that as our kids get older and start school, we are either becoming homeschool moms or we’re heading back to the work force. Both are full-time jobs that require enormous amounts of creativity.

My true passions are literature and writing. With a good book to read and a notebook to jot down one’s thoughts, life is more than bearable; it becomes joyful! I haven’t taught formally since the 1995-96 school year, when I taught sophomore and senior English in a public high school. It was exhausting, but richly rewarding.

Since our kids have entered the Christian school system, I’m now partial to the wonderful Christ-centered education they’re receiving. Yet I know tuition only increases as children get older. So I’m dreaming that one day, maybe my reading/writing/blogging decade can help land me a teaching job that would help pay private school tuition for my kids to go to a really great school. The grandparents have been so generous this year … but how in the world will we manage when we have all five kids in school?

With that said, I’m starting to collect books on teaching writing, and I’ve just found another wonderful book on the subject. The Train-of-Thought Writing Method by Kathi Macias offers the perfect analogy that demystifies the process of writing an article, short story, or longer work of fiction or non-fiction.

I can relate to trains. My two sons are both crazy about trains, and I’ve read them books about trains hundreds of times. Macias instructs writers to first begin “laying the track,” which means to write out one sentence that describes the heart of the work. Then you must have a “cow catcher,” something that will grab the reader’s attention and invite them along for the train ride.

Other aspects of the writing process include the locomotive (purpose, pulling the story along), the boxcars, the couplers, the observation car, and the caboose. Macias includes plenty of examples from her own writing, as well as other well-known authors, such as C.S. Lewis.

I’m really excited about owning this book, which can be used by a teacher like a workbook. Each chapter would make a nice weekly lesson, in which students can be instructed to work on a piece in process. Throughout the book, Kathi Macias’ can-do tone makes anyone feel like tackling a long writing project is not insurmountable.

I especially enjoyed the author’s example of being invited to speak at her old high school on the topic of writing. She was a nervous wreck about her first public speaking assignment! Yet it was a springboard for her lifetime career of helping others become better writers.

The author is an award-winning writer who has authored or coauthored fifteen books, including the popular Matthews and Matthews detective series from B&H (Obsession, The Price, and The Ransom) and the bestselling women’s devotional, A Moment a Day from Regal Books. She has also edited, rewritten, or ghostwritten more than 100 other books and published a wide variety of articles, short stories, and poems. She also serves as a staff member of a major manuscript critique service.

With these credentials, Kathi Macias has a great background for writing a book using the train-of-thought method to help new and established writers accomplish their goals of publishing.

I highly recommend this book and am glad to have it on my bookshelf. Not only will it help me to work on my personal writing projects, I also dream that someday … if God opens the door … I’ll be able to incorporate it in my classroom.

Wherever that may be.

Writing a novel can make you feel crazy … but I’m in so deep there’s no way I can stop until I finish this thing. But it will definitely NOT get done in a month.

Here’s how it feels for me. One minute I’m pouring cereal into a bowl for one of my kids. The cereal is going into the bowl, and I’m watching it go in, but my mind is thinking about the title of my book. Something’s not right; the rhythm’s off … it’s just not working.

Then!

I’m pouring the milk, and the perfect title comes, except it’s not just one title, it’s the whole series — three books. Then I’m turning around to get the spoons, but I’m also dying for a sheet of paper to write the titles down before they slip away.

I find a sticky pad and write them down. Then my son wants to read what I wrote. Should I let him? Will he think I’m weird? I show it to him. Then I explain, “These are the titles of the children’s books I’m writing.”

He reads them, and asks, “What are you packing in my lunch today?”

*sigh*

I’m not crazy. Really, I’m not. I’m just realizing that the mental energy behind plotting a novel has nothing to do with words. At this stage, it’s all ideas. It’s the characters. Are readers going to care about my characters? Enough to hang with them a whole book? And then another and another?

That’s what matters. The plot is secondary to the characters. It’s taken me two weeks to start getting to know my characters. How am I supposed to know what they’ll do if I don’t even know them?

But it’s coming along. I can’t go back now. On Monday, I had a phone interview with an author I totally admire. I’ll be posting it here soon. We chatted for nearly an hour, and I almost forgot that I was supposed to be listening instead of talking.

I held onto her every word. That night, at dinner, I showed my kids her book, and her picture. I said, “While you were at school today, this is what I was doing. I talked to this nice lady who writes books. She writes stories like you write at school, except when she writes a story, it’s read by millions of people around the world, in different languages.”

They seemed to be listening. Holding that book up, I felt like I had a friend, a kindred spirit. Another person who thinks about book titles while she’s pouring cereal. Who grabs for a notepad along with the spoons.

Like I said, I’m in deep.

Here are a couple of good resources for novel-writers, in case you’re in deep too:

Randy Ingermanson’s Snowflake Method (Hat tip to Scribblings by Blair for passing along the link.)

How to Write a Novel in 100 Days (These little posts are full of choice morsels from famous novelists — very inspiring.)

Robin Lee Hatcher guest blogged for Novel Journey a few days ago about characterization. Hope you can read it — she just published her … um … 50th book and had some great things to say, including this:

We are all the sum total of what has happened to us in the past. We behave as we do because of what happened to us last month, last year, and when we were children.

If I know my characters intimately, if I know that when Sarah was five she was in a runaway wagon and that when she was nine she saw an actor fall off the stage and die, then I will know how she will react when certain things happen to her in my novel. Her actions will ring true because she will not behave out of character. I am aware of her history and her motivations.

Of all the tools that I use as a novelist, writing first person autobiographies of my characters is the most vital. When I come to know my characters intimately, then my readers can know them that way, too.

Robin Lee Hatcher is also a blogger. Another mentor, I see.

I was skimming my current issue of Home-Based Working Moms, and I ran across this fantastic article by Carrie Lauth, called Secrets of Happy Moms.

She begins her article with these questions:

Have you ever noticed how some Moms seem to be very contented and confident in their role as Mothers, and others seem chronically stressed and approaching burnout? Why are some Moms unflappable and able to keep their sense of humor, while others overreact to the slightest stressors in their day?

Wow! These secrets were really encouraging to read. What kind of mom are you? Are you happy? Do you feel overwhelmed and stressed out a lot?

I know one mom who has five children and always seems to be relaxed and having a good time. I asked her once, “Why is it that you always seem so happy?” And she laughed and said, “I’ve learned not to let things bother me. I’m too busy to worry about things. I just pray about it, let God take care of it, and move on.”

Great advice.

My #9 on this list is what keeps me sane, as I love the people I’ve come in contact with since I’ve ventured into writing and blogging. Well, I’m about to explode with excitement about the moms I’ve been interviewing lately — you’ll have to read about one special mom in next month’s Christian Women Online. And I’m shaking in my shoes (yes, I am, Darlene) about the next interview for the November issue!

I got a new book in the mail yesterday, one I ordered from Barnes & Noble. It’s called Voice Power: Using Your Voice to Captivate, Persuade, and Command Attention, by Renee Grant-Williams. Doesn’t that sound like a useful skill? I’m excited because it’s my textbook for the upcoming Barnes & Noble University course, Stand and Deliver: Speak With Confidence.

A friend asked if I’d take the course with her — we’re both feeling like God is calling us toward public speaking ministries of some sort, though we’re not sure what. The thought of delivering a speech makes me nervous, yet recently I’ve realized it’s the message, not the messenger that is important.

When my postwoman delivers my mail, I sometimes wave to her or say hello if she comes to my door. But I don’t think twice about how she speaks or what she wears. What I’m interested in is what she’s brought me (especially if it’s a package!). It’s the “message” in the envelope that matters to me, not who delivered it.

That’s how I want to view public speaking — if God has put a message on my heart, then why can’t I save time by saying it to a bunch of people all at once?

A week ago, I went to my hometown library and addressed a small group of mostly family and friends. They were a wonderful audience, since I knew most of them personally, and I didn’t feel like they were judging me too harshly. It was the first time I’d spoken like that since giving my testimony to my church family in Japan several years ago.

Prior to that, in college, I was used to standing up in front of hundreds of alumni and sorority sisters, since that was part of my job as Alumni Relations Liaison. I had to coordinate big events and introduce speakers at the head table. It was fun because everyone seemed happy at these kinds of things, including me.

But motherhood has taken a whack to my self-confidence. The struggles of maintaining my sanity amidst a busy, chaotic household have left me feeling like a failure the past few years. So, to get up in front of people and appear to have my act together makes me feel like a hypocrit!

The message I delivered last week was about writing, and I hope I encouraged those in attendance to write down their favorite stories. But this isn’t the main message that’s on my heart. So far, no doors have opened for me to speak or write on that message, but hopefully this Barnes & Noble class will help me move in that direction.

I can say it in my blog to those of you I can’t see — my life message is that we’re completely LOST without Jesus Christ lighting the way for us every day! As women, as moms, as people. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” is what we read in Romans 3:23. So, if you feel like a failure, like me, maybe God has allowed circumstances to humble you so that you’ll realize your need for Him.

I’ve often joked that if I had only one child, my oldest son, I’d be the snobbiest parent in the world. He was a good baby, rarely cried, and has been pure joy to raise. If we’d stopped with one, I would have looked at those awful parents of noisy, whiny children and thought, “What’s your problem?” But God blessed us with more — so now I can’t survive a single day on my own strength!

Without Christ, we have no purpose, no hope, no peace in our lives. I can think of a thousand different ways to say this message! If I can only find the chance. I think the older I get, the more bold I’ll become. This is really the only message that matters.

Here’s a quote that came to my in-box this morning:

My husband and I went to a Gala last night — I didn’t even know how to pronounce that word until I heard a few people say it. It does have the “long a” sound.

Well, this thing was fancy-schmancy, and maybe if one of our pictures turns out, I’ll post it. Because we had an awesome time. We even danced.

The highlight of the evening was the meal, which was absolutely amazing. We had a salad that was made from a cucumber, which they used to poke lettuce leaves out of. Thin slices of carrots were wrapped around everything, and even our butter was shaped like rosettes.

I’m sure the people we ate with (doctors and their wives) do these kinds of things all the time, but I managed to pretend like I was used to it. I think the cold cream of cantaloupe soup shocked all of us — it looked like shrimp bisque, but it was COLD. And sweet. And … well, kind of weird.

Our main course included shrimp, filet mignon, and baked chicken. Yeah … all three. And for dessert, the wait staff brought each of us individual flaming red velvet cakes with cream cheese frosting. Since there were no doggie bags, I ate most everything — and enjoyed every morsel, every minute of conversation. It’s not often I have a date with a man in a tuxedo.

SO! The point of this post. See that picture? That’s what I’m eating this weekend. I’ve worked my tail off to drop 15 pounds on the South Beach Diet, and I’m NOT putting it back on. I had way too much fun shopping for a dress in a size smaller than I wore last year.

Mmmm … soy protein bars, here I come.

I wanted to show you the cover of this magazine I write for — here’s our June issue. I’ve been writing monthly articles for this magazine since last December. It’s fun because I write about local people, places, and trends in my hometown and a few surrounding counties. I enjoy asking people to tell me a little more about their passions and expertise.

For this issue, I helped research a story called “32 Ideas for Cool Summer Fun.” I immediately thought of this amazing horse farm, run by a husband and wife who moved down here from Virginia. I think their story is so inspiring. They just had this DREAM — to start a horse farm — and they did it with lots of hard work. They bought some land and slowly built a beautiful stable and riding rings; meanwhile, they lived in a teeny-weeny house (that was actually built to become a future horse barn) until they could build up their business.

The owners are so friendly and involved in the community — we’d met them because they invited our preschool over for a hayride. Within a few years, they were able to save up and build a nice house with a pool. Of course, the pool is part of their summer horseback riding camps.

When I called to interview them for the story, the woman screamed into the phone, like I’d just told her she’d won the lottery. I heard her say, “Guess what, everybody? This is Heather from Lifestyles Magazine!” Then she apologized for the noise in the background. “I’m so sorry,” she said to me. “We’re having my son’s birthday party, and we’re just about to bust the pinata.”

I asked her if I could call her back at a more convenient time — and she said “Oh no! This is perfect!” Since their website was so informative and I had already been out to visit their farm, I really only had a few specific questions. After chatting a few minutes, I asked if she could email me more details about their summer camps.

Within a few hours, her husband sent tons of information by email, and he also sent my editor several professional-quality digital photographs for possible use in the story (saving us from having to send a photographer out ourselves.) This couple made us feel like we were the best thing that had ever happened to them. And guess what the result was? Our June issue ran four fabulous pictures of their horse farm, telling readers about their camp, filling up a nice page in the magazine. At absolutely no cost to them — since they were part of the story we were writing. Yet the resulting publicity will introduce their farm and camps to thousands of readers.

If I had only KNOWN how much fun it would be to write stories like this, I would not have been so petrified to major in journalism. (I squirreled away with stacks of British novels, majoring in English instead.) I imagined I’d have to be an investigative reporter, aggressively sticking a microphone in someone’s face. But my kind of stories usually only involve one-on-one interviews.

There’s an art to interviewing, and I’m only beginning to learn it. A good interview will result in a good story; a poor interview will leave you with nothing to work with. I can’t read any magazine articles now without a pen in my hand. I dissect them, similar to what we did to those poor frogs in 7th grade biology. I’m fascinated with the words writers choose for their lead-in sentence, the theme, how they arrange the quotes, how they tie it all up with a take-away.

Maybe one day I’ll learn how to write a great story. It all starts with keeping my eyes and ears open for the unusual, the unique, and the spectacular. What I’ve discovered is that most people don’t mind being interviewed, if you show a sincere interest in what they’re passionate about.

Someday, when I have more time, I know some of these interviews could be turned into pieces for national magazines — for example, a horse magazine might be interested in this horse farm — or a marriage magazine, since this couple built a dream together and work together. Or maybe a writer’s magazine, giving tips on interviewing. The list could go on … unfortunately, I can only meet the deadlines I have now and little else!

If you are a writer and have any tips on interviewing, I’d love to know!

I’m curious to see if any of you have any advice or opinions to offer about wireless internet connection. I’ve been giving it some more consideration lately. We’ve been on a waiting list for DSL for over a year now, but every time I inquire, I’m told “Sorry, you’re too far out.”

The cable company says we’re too far out as well. And I don’t trust satellite. When we had satellite TV several years ago, strange things happened whenever we had a storm or high wind — our TV would lose the signal. I wonder if that would happen on the computer as well.

My friend who also lives out in the country and now has wireless says it works great. Here’s my question: is it safe? Is it like a cell phone, where people can pick up your conversations on a baby moniter? Is there a way to scramble things? I’m really clueless about all this wireless stuff — but I’m also to the point where Dial-Up is making it impossible to download anything.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

This is a reprint of a great article I read this week in the Hearts at Home newsletter. It’s written by Becky Wiese.

We females are a highly relational bunch. We are typically more expressive, emotional, and empathetic than our male counterparts.

That’s why friends are so important to us. We need the support, understanding, and encouragement from others who know what we’re going through.

For women whose career currently focuses specifically on caring for our children and nurturing of our family, friends are not only good to have around, they are vital to our survival and sanity. A professional mom’s friends are her co-workers, her peers, her colleagues.

They hold us accountable, encourage us, and celebrate with us.

Hopefully our husbands are at the head of the pack cheering us on, telling us we’re doing a great job, helping us with the parenting issues, but they are not always able to understand the issues we face in the same way another mom can.

It’s a lot like labor and delivery: Our hubbies are there to cheer us, coach us, coax us, and celebrate our accomplishment, but only another mom knows exactly what it feels like to give birth.

Similarly, only another mom can understand the emotion and commotion associated with the daily care and nurturing of children.

What’s interesting, given the importance of friends, is that often an at-home mom’s biggest challenge is dealing with isolation. While friends are vitally important to us, sometimes it’s hard to find them.

It can be discouraging to drive through your neighborhood and realize that you are the only one home during the day. It’s frustrating when you know no one with whom you can swap childcare duties — just so you can run errands in peace and quiet every so often. It’s difficult to feel that you’re a productive and valuable member of society when “all” you do is wipe noses, bottoms, and floors.

So how can you get past the isolation issue?

First, you have to get out of your house. The only at-home mom at your house is you! Go to the park, the library, the indoor play land — places where other moms tend to hang out with their kids. If your child attends school, volunteer periodically — you’ll find other moms doing the same thing.

You can also enroll yourself in a class that provides childcare during the meeting. Chances are many of the other women are just like you: Moms wanting to find other moms.

Find out if there are any support groups for moms, or babysitting co-ops, or other types of gatherings that would make it easy for you to meet other moms in your area.

Once you’ve found some friends, remember to nurture your friendships.

There is an old adage that says to have a friend, you have to be a friend. Be a giver, not only a taker, in the relationship. Be honest in your conversation, gentle in your response, and supportive in your actions.

Finally, remember there are different levels of friendship. It’s similar to the ripples made by tossing a rock in a pond. There might be one or two really close “sister” friends who are there with you “at impact,” a group of close friends who make up the first ripple, a larger group of “good” friends in the second ripple, a group of gals you know but don’t spend a huge amount of time with in the third ripple, and so on. All of these relationships are important and fill a specific role. Remember that not every acquaintance will end up being a “sister” friend, and that’s okay.

Friends help us through the ups and downs of life. There is much truth to the saying “(s)he who has found a friend has found a treasure.”

Find and treasure your friends — you’ll be blessed over and over for it.

Becky Wiese and her husband of twenty years, Mike, make their home in Bloomington, Illinois, with their four children. She is a frequent contributor to Hearts at Home publications and serves as the Director of Communications for the organization. In her free time, she enjoys sports, reading, music, and travel.

Copyright Hearts at Home 2006, used with permission. For more information about Hearts at Home: 309-888-MOMS or visit the website.

[Heather’s note: This article didn’t mention how great it is to find friendships among fellow women bloggers! I mean, how are we going to bump into a mom who lives in another country at the indoor playground? And to be honest, after a few years, my kids and I decided we’re allergic to the smell of socks at those places.]

P.S. I just can’t keep off my own blog! Stay tuned because NEXT week, we’re having an awesome lady come tell us all about the MOPS organization — Moms of Preschoolers. Here’s a great way to make new friends with moms who live near you — and if you don’t have preschoolers, she’ll tell us how you can become a mentor mom. You can visit their website and find out if there’s a group near you.