A novel? It’s about time. I don’t read much fiction, but I’m glad I discovered this one. If you love getting carried away in a good story, this novel is way too much fun. It’s ideal for a breezy weekend read.

The Potluck Club is co-authored by Eva Marie Everson and Linda Evans Shepherd, two ladies who keep my inbox brimming. Eva Marie sends me her newest articles on Crosswalk, and Linda sends me recipes. When I heard Eva Marie speak at a conference, I just had to get a signed copy of her book.

“How do two people write a novel together?” I asked her. “We each wrote three characters,” she whispered. “But it’s a secret which ones.”

What is the Potluck Club? It’s a tight-knit group of six friends who get together to share a home-cooked meal, spicing things up with the latest gossip prayer requests. These ladies find plenty to talk about in their small town nestled in the scenic Colorado mountains.

What I enjoyed most about this book is that the women are real. They’re funny and flawed, but have a heart for growing in their faith. As the plot unfolds, we enter into their joys and heartaches, frowning at the naughty and smiling at the nice. I laughed and cried — now, I’m hooked and can’t wait to read the sequel.

It’s about time Christian publishers gave us something to read that rivals best-selling chick-lit that won’t make us blush! This is a novel you wouldn’t mind your teen daughter or your grandmother picking up after you — pass it on. Forget the trashy romances — here’s a piece that’s good for your mind and soul.

If you’re looking for something fun and poignant to discuss at your next book club meeting, this book is the perfect accompaniment to the staples of food and laughter. Since all the recipes are included at the back of the book, why not try some out? Are Lisa Leann’s oven-barbecued brisket and cinnamon rolls really ALL THAT? Make them and see. Vonnie’s Mexican tamales will always remind you of that sad secret in her past. And Mother Dippel’s chocolate cake looks delicious — just watch out for hungry black bears!

As you can see in this author picture, the Colorado mountains make a gorgeous backdrop for a novel. And since I don’t live anywhere near mountains like that, it made me relish the story even more. I felt like I was on a little adventure — all the while I was curled up reading this book. It really inspired me! I won’t be surprised at all if The Potluck Club gets made into a movie — it’s one I’ll enjoy taking my daughters to see.

Speaking of Potluck Clubs, don’t forget to go through your recipe files this weekend and tell me about your favorite “Comfort Food.” I’m hosting the Carnival of Beauty here next Wednesday, and I need YOUR potluck dish. Click here for details. All you have to do is post the recipe in your blog by 3 pm on Tuesday, then email me the link. And you can be in our Carnival! Even if you don’t have a blog, email me your recipe, and I’ll post it with mine. Let’s break out of our winter doldrums and dish up something tasty.

Good books. Good food. Bon Appetit!

If you’ve been reading FlyLady’s emails for a while, you know the #1 thing she focuses on is teaching you how to FLY, which stands for “Finally Loving Yourself.” I was a little skeptical of this at first — I’m not a big fan of self-help philosophies that take away from the work of Jesus — but that’s not what she’s trying to do.

Actually, it’s not FlyLady herself that expresses what FLY’ing means — it’s the wonderful testimonials I read every week from people who write to her. Do you read those? She said she gets thousands of emails a day. Wow — she’s definitely found her calling.

FLY’ing in my case this week has meant to accept the fact that I can’t do it all — and that’s OK. I’ll do what I can and ask Christ to give me a spirit of love and joy in my home — without comparing myself to others.

So … I’ll go ahead and tell you that we’ve BOUGHT our Valentines this year. Yes! We spent less than two minutes picking out three different mass-produced kinds: Narnia, Star Wars, and Puppies/Kittens. We bought strawberry cream chocolate kisses (who invented those?), and I’ve given the kids scotch tape and stickers. They’ve done all their Valentine-making on their own this year. And had a great time!

This was not the case a few years ago. I was involved in a group that had the world’s most humongous Valentine’s party, and only the slacker moms bought Valentines. I say that tongue-in-cheek of course — but I’m telling you, these ladies did some magnificent things with googly eyes, foam cut-outs, and pipe cleaners. I always thought that one day I would invent the most creative, amazing Valentine ever — using googly eyes of course.

But not this year. Not if I want to balance things I do for my kids with some things just for me — which this week included interviewing an author in France and becoming a mini-expert on a state park.

So, as you move through your weekend preparing for Valentine’s Day, remember that God loves you for who you are. He made you perfect in His image, and He’s given you talents that nobody else has. Ask Him to reveal what His calling is for you … and then look in the mirror and love the person who looks back at you.

P.S. If you’re heading to the movies this weekend, Lisa Rice has a cute review in Crosswalk, On Adorable Scale, “Curious George” is a 10.

Iris passed this along to me — some bloggers participate in something called “Thankful Thursday.” I’m not really sure how it all works — I think you write some things you’re thankful for on Thursday, and you send the link to somebody’s blog, and there’s a blogroll for that.

If you’re interested, check out the link from the graphic. It’s nice to know things like this are going on in the world…being thankful and sharing it with others…

I don’t know if I’ll be able to formally participate, but I’ll say I’m thankful this week that I paid our bills yesterday, our kids are healthy, and I’ve got some interesting plans with my sister this weekend. Also, I really liked that “Remembering” meme I posted on Monday — it’s reminded me how much I enjoy teaching.

A Mom 2 Mom reader sent me a question that I didn’t know how to answer. So I found an expert, Brenda Nixon, who’s written a book on how to deal with behavior in young children.

Question:

I’d really love to get your opinion about a situation we have with our 3- year old, if you wouldn’t mind. He is ALL BOY! I know that little boys have an aggressive energy about them by nature and they are more physical in their interaction, etc. However, I am having a hard time channeling his energy for the good and not getting frustrated with him. He is just being really aggressive with the other kids in his preschool class and with me at home. He is pushing, pinching, talking back to me, and his favorite is to just run into someone with the full force of his whole body. When I got pregnant with him I felt the Lord give me a specific word for him: “strong”. That has been true in every aspect of his personality since day one. I want him to keep his wonderful strength of heart and mind and body but I am running out of ideas as to how to help him have an obedient spirit. My family has anger issues in our past and I already see that coming out in him a little bit. I am just trying to get as much advice as I can so I don’t show him anger when administering discipline. I would love to know if you have any suggestions.

Here’s what Brenda says:

Often, 3-year olds are becoming more independent and have lots of energy. You are right in wanting to channel this to be expressed in positive, appropriate ways. If he is a first-born he’s probably a perfectionist and strong leader. Many of our U.S. presidents were first-born children.

To help your son, always make sure you’re a good role model. When you are excited or frustrated, keep calm. During discipline times, stay matter-of-fact and don’t scream at him. Remember, your son is watching YOU — his most influential teacher. You might say things like, “I feel frustrated. I’m going to exercise or take a bath.” This teaches your son two things: everyone has powerful emotions, and there are appropriate ways to exhaust them.

It’s admirable you want him to keep his strength of heart and mind and body, but being his first and most influential teacher, you must also teach him to respect others. Pushing, pinching, talking back, and running full force into someone in preschool might cause physical and mental anguish to the others so it cannot be tolerated. Talk with his teacher to come up with a mutual plan on how to end this aggression. He needs to learn appropriate ways to channel his feelings. Preschoolers need patience and persistent, calm correction.

At home, help his language development by reading lots of books. When children learn to use words they will express themselves with words rather than actions, like running into people. Check out books from your local library and make some of them on feelings. Kids love to be read to, so read a book to your son during neutral, non-aggressive, times when he’ll be more receptive to the lesson you’re trying to teach. All feelings come from God. There’s nothing wrong with feelings – only how we use them.

Since you say your family has anger issues in your past, then I might also suggest you see a family counselor for other behavior management techniques.

Brenda Nixon is a parenting speaker, columnist, and author of Parenting Power in the Early Years and Writers Who Speak.

Wow — I think no matter what age our children are, she’s given us some great ideas. Thanks for stopping in, Brenda!

I found this on Bethany’s site and tried putting my blog title in, but it wouldn’t all fit on my screen. I also had to spell out the “2.” My total points are 30. How about yours?

Pholph’s Scrabble Generator My Scrabble© Score is: 7. What is your score? Get it here.

Pholph’s Scrabble Generator My Scrabble© Score is: 2. What is your score? Get it here.

Pholph’s Scrabble Generator My Scrabble© Score is: 7. What is your score? Get it here.

Pholph’s Scrabble Generator My Scrabble© Score is: 14. What is your score? Get it here.

Bethany is hosting today’s Carnival of Beauty. The subject of “Contentment” brought out a fascinating array of ideas — from dealing with frizzy hair to overcoming a fettish with the Home Shopping Network. So click on over to Bethany’s “Picturesque Life” blog for the Carnival.

On another topic:

Would you like your ideas to appear in a book? I’ve been introduced to author Martha Pope Gorris, who has written several books and is looking for help with her newest one on prayer. She asks:

Do you pray using pictures to visualize your request? If so, I am looking for your story for a book project. Contact me at my website. Thanks!

Check back tomorrow if you’ve ever dealt with anger in any of your children. One of my readers sent me a difficult-to-answer question, and I decided it was best to seek out an expert opinion. So I’ve found a nationally recognized author and speaker who has agreed to pay us a personal visit. Don’t miss what she has to say!

This week’s Carnival topic is “The Beauty of Contentment,” hosted by Bethany, and I must say this has been the most difficult one for me. I’ve wrestled with the Voice in my conscience, wondering if maybe this is the week I should skip. Lord, I don’t know what to say. You know I’m struggling with the whole idea of contentment! And He responded, Write what you know.

OK. So this is what I know.

This may not sound nice, but God doesn’t always want us to be content. At times, we’re not supposed to feel comfortable because He has something better for us. As God is moving us toward the next step in our life journey, we’re going to feel pressure and dissatisfaction — and we’ll keep feeling that way until we follow Him in obedience.

I finally read an analogy the other day that made sense to me. It’s from that inspiring book I picked up at CBA last month, Happiness Matters, by Dennis Leonard. He says, “Runners use the expression ‘hitting the wall’ when they are so physically exhausted that everything within them says to quit. They feel like they’ll die if they take one more step. But they know if they press through the pain they’ll get a second wind and the pain will be overwhelmed by the sheer pleasure of running” (p. 178-179).

I’m up against a wall right now, and I’m learning that I won’t be content and at peace unless I press through. I’m not called to sit down next to the wall and enjoy the warm sunshine and daisies; I’m called to move on, to press through, to climb over this wall I’ve never encountered before.

Those of you who read my blog regularly know the two things I’m working through now are my physical health and my home management. I’m not content with where I am in these two areas, so I’m “studying to show myself approved.” You can read about my new discoveries every week on FlyLady Fridays.

I’m not content to be in this postpartum slump either — I’ve finally reached the age where my body can’t deal with the junk I put in it as a teen or 20-something. I’ve got to purify my diet, increase my water intake, and exercise regularly or I’m on a high-speed locomotive heading toward diabetes and slothfulness. I’ve got to get off this train and board the one going in the right direction. And it ain’t easy.

I’ve also hit a wall with my writing — I’m getting to the hard part where I’m realizing the discipline and thick skin that are required to endure publication. If you’re a blogger, then you’re publishing your thoughts for all the world to see — people who might agree with you and others who won’t. Sometimes, I want to go back to that cozy safe place in my journal. When it’s just me writing a letter to God, I can let my emotions go in complete privacy, and nobody knows what I’m writing.

But this is a wall for me, and I’ve got to press through. Last weekend, I had some predators come into my blog and leave me hateful comments (cursing at me, calling me names). Since I moderate, they weren’t published, but I almost came in here Monday and wrote, “Well, this is not fun anymore. Sorry, but I quit.”

Yet God sent me to the right people — fellow writers and bloggers — who reminded me of the bullies in the blogosphere. They encouraged me to keep going, to keep being salt and light in this dark world. And so I don’t feel content to go back to my journal scribblings that nobody reads. In fact, it would be a sin for me to go back, the same way the Israelites wanted to go back to Egypt. My Promised Land comes from the connections I’m hoping to make with you, my readers. If I can encourage just one person (only one!), to have a better day, then that’s more than I would have accomplished if I’d written in my journal.

So I run. I persevere. Despite my struggles and the bullies, I’m going to keep going. I won’t feel a peace if I don’t. I’m going to drink water when I don’t want to. I’m going to walk my dog when it’s cold outside and I don’t feel like it. I’m going to eat an apple when I want to pile up a plate with cookies. I’m going to keep following FlyLady’s routines when I don’t feel like turning on my timer to do a room rescue. And I’m going to keep writing here — for as long as the Spirit compels me.

Are any of you encountering a wall in your life? Do you feel a spirit of unrest about something you’re doing or not doing? Then don’t pray for God to help you feel content; instead, pray that He’ll help you press on and break through. He has something even greater in store for you. Don’t sit down next to the wall and dream and sigh! Where do you see yourself a year from now? What will it take to get there? If you need to make a phone call or set up an appointment, then do it today. Get off the computer and do it now.

P.S. I’m going to be hosting next week’s Carnival — here! So send me your favorite recipes — the topic is “Comfort Food.” Gather your fellow blogging friends, stop by Two Talent Living for the rules, and come on in for a Valentine’s potluck. Send posts by next Tuesday at 3 pm to heatherivester at bellsouth dot net. Pull up a chair and let’s eat!

I’ve been tapped by Sting My Heart for this blogger meme. I don’t do many of these, but I did the Seven Sevens back in December. They’re kind of like chain letters, which I never forward, but actually, this one’s kind of nice. It made me do some remembering, which God likes for us to do.

What was I doing…?

10 Years ago (1996):

1. I was preparing to become a new mom, reading What to Expect When You’re Expecting and how-to books on labor, nursing, baby development, etc. Then our son was born, and our lives were changed forever!
2. We lived in a small neighborhood, and I took walks every day with my neighbors, who were also new parents.
3. I finished my last semester of graduate school, completing a master’s degree in English education.
4. I taught high school sophomores and seniors how to read Shakespeare and write essays — and then I cried while I read their journals.
5. My best friend from when I lived in Japan came to visit me to meet our new baby — but she died of cancer on Thanksgiving Day (2000), and I didn’t realize I’d never see her again.

5 Years ago (2001):

1. We put our house on the market the week of 9/11/01. I was afraid the world was coming to an end after the Twin Towers were struck.
2. We had chickens in our backyard, and I ground my wheat and made bread every week.
3. I was reading a lot of books about homeschooling and getting ready to start teaching my oldest son how to read.
4. I was quilting, smocking, and taking piano lessons — and realizing that I’d never be very good at any of those things.
5. I found out we were expecting our fourth child, and I had a late miscarriage that ended with emergency surgery to save my life.

1 Year ago (February 2005):
1. I stayed home with my toddler who colored the walls, while my three older children were in school.
2. I was pregnant with our fifth child, who was born in the spring.
3. We joined a new church, and our two older children were baptized.
4. I finished up several home writing courses and attended three writers’ conferences.
5. I signed a contract to write a small Mother’s Day gift book, and I wrote it.

Yesterday (Saturday Feb. 4, 2006):
1. My 3-year-old son came and wrapped his arms around my neck and said, “Mama, I love underwear.” (No more diapers!)
2. I turned in my manuscript for a devotional book on “Hope” that I’m helping to write.
3. I edited the introduction and first three chapters of my friend Trish’s book for moms. It will be published in 2007, and she wrote my name in the acknowledgements.
4. My youngest daughter learned to crawl, and I watched her — happy and sad at the same time.
5. We enjoyed a delicious dinner at my husband’s parents’ house, which I’ll tell you about in the post that follows.

5 Songs I know all the words to:
Lots of praise songs — I love praise songs.

5 Greatest Joys:
1. The Word of God and my relationship with Christ.
2. My family — I love growing closer to my husband as the years go by and watching our children grow up. Plus we’re blessed with wonderful extended families.
3. I enjoy encouraging people to pursue their dreams.
4. I love taking pictures of joyful events that I hope to write about someday when I have more time.
5. I’ve discovered I really enjoy travel writing and would like to do more of it.

The other parts of this meme are:
5 Things I’d do with a million dollars
5 Places I’d run away to
5 Things I’d never wear
5 Favorite toys
5 Favorite books or TV shows
5 People I tag

I can’t think of anything else right now — so I’ll stop here! If any of you reading this would like me to tag you, then I tag you. Have fun!
😉

I’m very blessed to have a mom and mother-in-law who are both great cooks, and I’m constantly asking for their recipes and trying to soak up their tips. They make cooking seem so easy! For me, the constant challenge is to find meals that appeal to both kids and adults.

Well, here’s a good one. My mother-in-law makes this one every now and then, and it’s always a hit. She calls it simply “Black Beans and Rice.” It makes a beautiful spread if you’re feeding a group of people, and it’s especially nice if you’re in the position of needing to feed both vegetarians and meat-eaters (as in our case.)

In pretty serving dishes, sit these out as a serve-yourself buffet:

One big platter of cooked white or brown rice
One bowl of cooked black beans
One platter of cooked, sliced sausage
Small bowls of condiments: grated cheese, chopped onion, diced tomato, salsa, and sour cream
Green salad, to be served as a side dish

On the table, place big bowls of tostitos and fritos, so people can serve themselves while they’re seated and talking.

What makes this meal great is that adults can add the salsa and onions and make it spicy, while kids may go for more cheese and skip the salsa. The black beans are healthy and full of fiber, but the sausage is also filling for those who like it. You could also add tortillas and roll up the rice, beans, and cheese inside. Salmon or chicken could be substituted instead of sausage.

This meal is just plain fun, and it’s so much better than eating out at a restaurant.

Something funny happened this week that involves this book. A friend of mine bought A Mom Just Like You for herself and read through the first couple of chapters, but then she felt like God was saying to her, “You need to give this book to Heather.”

So she did! As a belated birthday gift. And I had to laugh and tell her “great minds think alike” because I love this book! In fact, I bought it four years ago and read it cover to cover — devouring it like hot brownies out of the oven. Then I loaned it out a couple of times, and a friend returned it to me last summer.

So, I told her I’d “loan” her my new book permanently, so she could finish it and we could talk about it. Then I thought, “Well, maybe I’m supposed to write about this in my blog.” Is there a mom out there who could use some encouragement? Is there anyone struggling with the issue of … family size? A Mom Just Like You is written by Vickie Farris (with her daughter Jayme), and she’s the mother of ten kids.

Well, in my pre-blogging days, I wrote a bunch of reviews on Amazon, and so I decided to review this book. And while I was looking it up, I discovered some people didn’t like it. Well, I had to differ on their opinion. So here’s what I wrote:

I can’t understand the other reviewers who write negatively about this book. The title is absolutely perfect! It’s not supposed to be a practical how-to guide; it’s a journey, a very personal peek into the life of a large, successful homeschooling family. Mrs. Farris bravely tells the story of how she came to be the mother of ten children and why they chose to homeschool.

I’ve heard Michael Farris speak before, and I too wondered what kind of a woman could possibly mother and teach ten children. So that’s why I bought the book to begin with. Mrs. Farris writes, “I am a very normal mom who happens to have a very visible, talented, and energetic husband … I struggle regularly with feeling overwhelmed … I am very much a mom like you. And from one normal mom to another, let me just tell you that God is faithful …” (Her husband is a successful attorney, the founder of the Home School Legal Defense Association, founder of Patrick Henry College, professor, author of several non-fiction books and novels, and has won many awards.)

The theme of her story is that God alone can enable and give grace for a person to accomplish anything. Mrs. Farris grew up as a shy, only child who had little practice in domestic arts or caring for children. She even admits that she is a “scaredy cat” when her husband is away traveling. Yet she uses her weaknesses to draw on God’s strength.

The book encompasses her journey of child-bearing, beginning with the birth of her first daughter, and ending with her new role as grandmother. She goes into great detail about how she and her husband made the decisions that led them along this path.

While listening to a Focus on the Family radio show, she became interested in homeschooling. Later, it was through reading a magazine article as well as Mary Pride’s book, The Way Home, that she changed her views on planning the size of her family.

The whole book is funny and encouraging. We see her youngest son jumping off the coffee table. We agonize with her as she is planning a wedding while still taking care of a child in the middle of the night. We see how her daily afternoon walks help her stay sane and refreshed.

She explains the Farris’ principles of child-rearing; mainly, “our ultimate goal is not to raise children, but to raise adults.” She discusses the delicate balance between rights and responsibility as children move through different ages. This wisdom is so helpful for moms in the trenches with young kids (like me).

The last two chapters are extremely inspirational, and for anyone who is planning a mother/daughter speech or tea, these chapters offer you great ideas. She quotes another of my favorite authors, Elisabeth Elliot, who says, “None of the gifts of my own life — not my “career” or my work or any other gift — is higher or more precious to me than that of being someone’s mother.”

I’ve read this book through twice, and I plan on reading it again — sorry, I can’t loan you my copy. (Order it through your local Christian bookstore, and give them some business!) One more thing about this book: although Mrs. Farris does hold certain beliefs about family planning, she doesn’t come across as judgmental. I personally believe this is a decision that husbands and wives should make together as a couple, after much prayer and seeking God about it. This book will give you one point of view; it’s up to you to research and make the wisest choice — for your family.